Will you join me in helping my friend, who I believe is in danger?

[eilen]

I am pretty sure she is married to a sociopath-- he has something wrong with him. He is very manipulative and exhibits behaviors that are abusive. He is very sneaky and arrogant.

Anyway, she is pretty much done with him. I am worried for her as I don't put it past him to cause an "accident." There are guns in the house and lots of stairs.

She is getting her ducks in a row. But I feel she is in danger now and may be after she leaves. She is being very careful to keep all under the radar and will not even utter her escape plan out loud. It is very likely he is surveilling her in some manner even though she does not believe he is aware of her intentions.

Anyway, I am asking my guides to look out for her, particularly around staircases. She weighs about 108 lbs soaking wet. She knows not to go anywhere with him alone. She believes he is not aware of her plans. He has been unusually pleasant to her (a tell he is up to something). She is putting out the vibration that all will be well. She has a long history of being unsafe -- from the time before she turned 5 -- I don't know if what she has experienced was a contract with her siblings or not but I'm sure she should not be in this situation much longer. She is a gifted intuitive healer who not only has helped many up to now but will help infinitely more in the future when she does not have to expend so much energy shielding.

If anyone gets any hits on this, please pm me.

[elleng]

1. Thinking about her.

'Escaped' from a sociopath 4+ years ago who is STILL 'hurting me,' not physically but emotionally.

:thumbsup:

[WhiteTara]

2. I hope she is able to make her move soon.

Wednesday Mercury turns retro and so many plans are waylaid in that morass. I'm sending her strength and blessings and angels to her side.

[Ricochet21]

3. Tell her to get out before April 1

[southerncrone]

4. I got the sense that something is going to happen to HIM

which will solve her problem.

Hope her "escape" is easy & safe.
Sending protecting light.

[MorningGlow]

5. Sending light for your friend's protection and success for her plan

I'm getting the sense your friend is on the right path, Eilen. As in, now is the time. I also get the feeling that she must do this now, because if she gives up this time, she might not have the strength (of will, I mean, not physical strength) to try again. I will keep her in my prayers until she is safely away. :hug:

[BlueIris]

6. I really feel this is a job for law enforcement and other professionals.

And that if your friend is in danger she needs to leave now not at some indeterminate point in the future. But since you asked, I will send energy with the intention that it help her get away from her psychopath safely.

[eilen]

7. The thing is, it is not overt.

Ever see the movie Gaslight?

[BlueIris]

9. Real world professionals in her area are the only ones who can help her in a constructive way.

And I don't just mean the police. I mean women's crisis counselors, domestic violence services groups and other resources designed to help people being victimized by unstable partners. No one at DU can replace a professional, or provide real life intervention.

I still say the most important thing is that she leave now--not two days or even two weeks from now--now. Whether her plan is in place or not.

[eilen]

10. She has been in touch with professionals

notably the battered women's shelter and an attorney.

[FirstLight]

8. I am sending, eilen...

I left my ex in 2004, and am *just* getting around to the legal name change so we can be 'incognito' when he is released from prison.

The worst part of living in that stuff is the manipulation that makes you doubt your own inner knowing. Even long after leaving him, i wondered if I had 'overreacted' and made it worse than it really was...
thank goddess for therapy!

I have a strong sense of solidarity and sisterhood with those who suffer this crap. So I will be sending my angelic 'possee' of those who protected me through many sleepless nights and journeys through the dark into the light of well being.
:hug: for you and your friend!

[eilen]

11. Yes, he is very manipulative.

I am glad you got away! I told her yesterday that while she feels her plans are means to an end, is the end that really important (ie. belongings)? I'm thinking that freedom would be the best thing to have even if it means some temporary financially difficult times. It will all get worked out in court anyway. Staying in a home that is not really where you want to be anyway is pointless and endangering. I advised her to find a place out of town that would make it inconvenient and expensive (gas wise) for him to harass her-- but close enough that he could not prove a hardship for visitation of their child.

I don't think she is over reacting. More the other way. This guy is creepy.

[FirstLight]

17. well, i didn;t have a real 'plan' ...BUT

when i knew it was over, i had about 2 months and two failed attempts to get away... each time i had to call HIM to rescue me because he kept the cars in such bad shape i stalled on the roadside in the middle of nowhere... he had watched me pack and rant a couple times...and knew i would never be able to pull it off. or so he thought.

The other shoe dropped quite suddenly, with no planning, just a realization and determination that washed over me as I understood it wasn't going to get better, and that i was going to end up hurting my kids as a result of 'transference' of the abuse...He left for work, i started packing and making phone calls. end of story.
'cept it wasn't
my friend who was going to drive over the mountain to get us got stuck in a snowstorm. I ended up calling my mom to pick us up, which meant we were behind schedule to get out before he returned.
He came home and watched me pack up my MOM's car, hurling insults and telling me i was kidnapping the kids...
after a weekend of getting settled into the parent's cabin,i found child porn on my computer he had hidden...called the cops and he was arrested. after a slap on the hand (because child porn is a misdemeanor in CA) and my restraining order being filed and having to subject my 20 month old daughter to a Medical Examiner,( we still had no proof if he had harmed her)...he was released...

He moved into his mom's, which was ironically in the same neighborhood as my parents' cabin, and he would circle the block and watch us through the back fence, dancing on the 50-100 yard line...he would send his mom to my house to give us toys and clothes for the kids...and write love notes all over the boxes...
I burned them,

we moved

again, he found a place to live near my life...between my work and the kids daycare...i don't know if it was planned or just coincedence. One day he blocked me in the driveway of the daycare and gets out of his car eand walks up to me smiling as i am buckling the toddlers in the backseat...he acted like it was just a happy chance meeting...the Husband of the daycare owner came outside and scared him off...but i still filed a report with the cops, just in case.
we moved four time in four years
and he'd see me at a MCdonalds and have the drive thru guy pass me a note, trying to make nice, like nothing ever happened...

i lived in fear and went through intense therapy for 2-3 years, still having moments of PTSD
and i still sometimes can't believe it's been almost seven years and i am not yet sure of my safety.
When I did newspaper work freelancing, i had to have them change my byline so he or his mother wouldn't see it.

he left town and got arrested for something unrelated and BIG in 2006- he's actually in San Quentin now and due to be released by next summer... me and the kids have a legal name change due to be done by next month.
but just this week i received a notice from the child support division saying my case with him is about to change and asking me for more info - I fear he may be up for early release, of not already out...

needless to say, i still lock my doors every night :(
~~
moral of the story?
Getting out is never the END, her resolve has to be strong, and everyone has their own trigger for that inner strength.
But it is like conquering addiction, it takes courage and determination, and not looking back - only forward

[OneGrassRoot]

20. Wow.....

Just wow.

:grouphug: to you and all the women experiencing this same drama.

I'm sorry, I have no words. Just tremendous compassion, respect and admiration.

Blessing to you, eilen's friend and the many goddesses this affects.

:loveya:

[SheilaT]

12. She should leave and leave immediately.

Staying to "get her ducks in a row" is pure foolishness. As several others have pointed out, there's a reason law enforcement exists. While I totally respect put out good vibrations and so on, that's no match against someone committed to violence.

I myself have essentially no psychic ability, so I'm not speaking from that, but from a common-sense point of view. I have little patience with someone who stays in dangerous situations. There are women's shelters. There are safe houses. Remaining in a place of potential danger is not a bright thing to do.

Sorry for being so blunt, but that's how I feel.

[eilen]

14. I agree, I wish she would leave

But I understand her. She has lived in physical danger since the time she was a small child. People who have been abused through most of their formative years have a unusual tolerance for intolerable situations.

[peacefreak]

13. Hoping for her safety.

I've known too many women, including myself, in this situation. Make sure she has a restraining order ready, people she can trust & a safe place to go. Many blessings to her.

[eilen]

15. Currently she has 2 out of 3.

And is quite on her way for the 3rd.

[Sienna86]

16. Restraining orders don't always help

The man you describe above may well feel he is above following such an order. One of the warning signs is a male who does not follow such court-ordered sanctions. I wish she was out of the home now. There are so many devices and software availble to these abusive, stalker types. He may well know she has plans. That would account for his change in behavior. No one should under-estimate what they may have access too. Only her private thoughts are safe. Anything written, on a computer, said out loud, or car travel can be monitored.

[FirstLight]

18. exactly...see my story above

the only reprieve i got was his incarceration, and nobody is gonna call me when he's released...I am the one who has tio check constantly with the DA, the sherriff and all kinds of other places ...and sometimes they even refuse to give me information because we are "no longer married" ... ugh!
that restraining order is only as good as the paper it is printed on, and i am not looking forward to the next few months of worry i am in for...

[Sweet Freedom]

19. Anne Ortelee's column made me think of your friend

(Hopefully, it's not as bad as #3...)

As the aspects are tremendous, we’ll start with the harder ones first ~ number 3: Protect yourself from danger.

IF you have some crazy or violent person in your life who has been threatening you, an order of protection, or are in a relationship that features violence or anger, this is the week to run for the hills. This is a “shooter” week where the crazies feel they have to kill you to control you. Run out the back door if you see them coming in the front door. Avoid arguments. LEAVE for your physical safety. The planet of war and violence is joining with the planet of sudden and out of control actions. Seriously ~ take their threats seriously! Call the police. Tell your employer so THEY call the police if your ex or arguing controlling crazy comes to your place of employment. And you LEAVE! GO!

Number 4 ~ Wait for more information IF YOU ARE NOT IN PHYSICAL DANGER. You can get flooded with too much information to process and shut down emotionally, leading to bad choices. Don’t take action. Pay attention. Listen. Defer the decision until you are clearer. Similar to shock after an accident, you are mobile but not able to hook on to reality. So sit by the side of the road and wait until you are clearer. You will be clearer after the New Moon on April 3.

Number 2 ~ write your social security number on your body parts. Sometimes you can’t do a darn thing. My friend Anne couldn’t leave her seat. She’s not a pilot. No parachute. She had to ride it out. Prayer wasn’t working for her. She COULD write her social security number on her body parts. This is the bring chicken soup to a sick friend. Bake a casserole for the gathering after the funeral. You have to wait it out but you need to DO something. So do what you can. Do what you can, including writing your social security number on your body parts. It IS oddly comforting…

And, hopefully, it will be 1) complete clarity about what you need to do. These aspects are exceptionally clarifying. If you’ve been running around in a bit of a undecided morass, you’ll get the clarity this week. Maybe TOO much clarity, but clarity is clarity. So thank it for sharing with you and take its advice to heart.

http://anneortelee.com/