Need protective angels sent this way...

[FirstLight]

I will not allow myself to freak out or be victimized...i will not be afraid, i will not be looking over my shoulder, i will be strong.


Bad ex got released from San Quentin - got a notice from the child support division that they were re=opening the case, that's how I found out. Got a call in to the DA and Probation office - he was supposed to 'owe' the county up here an addditional year, and there was supposed to be a warrant ...but apparently he is free as a bird. and I don't know if he is coming for us or not...he may decide to go to NM where his dad and brither live, cuz they have drugs and he is no doubt being looked for by the people he screwed in the Bay Area before going in...
But his mom and two other brothers live up here, so it's a toss up.
More than anything, i worry about his pedophelia, and him trying to take my daughter.
I talked with the school secretary this morning and she is alerted to the danger and will call the police of anyone other than me or my mom come for the kids...

ugh. not a happy way to start the week, send prayers please. I hate having to re-live the feelings of helplessness and fear and sadness every time i have to deal with this man.
You think you are done, but PTSD is a silent lurking emotional grenade, isn't it?

[BlueIris]

1. It's sounds like you've got all your bases covered legally.

Which can only be a good thing. I really think keeping the professionals in the loop is the best thing for you and your family.

While I've never had PTSD and with the caveat that this is not medical advice, I recommend emotional freedom technique:

http://www.emofree.com/

I also recommend Bach's Walnut essence. I swear that stuff once helped me avoid a dangerous ex boyfriend. Walnut is sort of known for being able to provide an energetic shield between us and negative people. You could also try Elm, which is also good for family related stress.

(((( FirstLight ))))

[MorningGlow]

2. Oh, I didn't think it was going to be this soon

Sorry to hear that, FL. Do you have or can you get a restraining order?

Sending light for your and your kids' protection, and sending out the strong suggestion that he move far, far away permanently. :hug:

[FirstLight]

3. I've had a Rest. order since day one...

it comes up for renewal in march, i am going to ask for it to be made permanent at that time. If he tries anything before then, it will actually help MY case...so a little harassment won't be too awful to endure.

I just don't know his mentality these days, would he see me as the cause of his disfortune and come looking to even the score? would he think he has somehow been changed and wat to try and retrieve his 'family'...? :shrug:

I honestly don't feel as scared or nervous as i have in the past, so that's a good sign.
I had the 'feeling' he was going to be released in december, that's why i hurried up and jumped into changing our names...
so at least i know my intuition classes are working! lol

[BanzaiBonnie]

4. This is the last week of March...

Do you mean renewal in March 2012?

[FirstLight]

5. yes, next year

he was supposed to still be incarcerated till september of next year... :(

[Fire Walk With Me]

18. Right now is a time of clearing deep, deep hurts

which can become fixations. The new energy won't allow such much further into the future, it has to go now. This means that trauma is coming up to be viewed, accepted, and released.

Yeah, I know, sounds easy, and it's hitting me in places I didn't want to again have awareness...IT MUST GO. In the skilled/powerful, it will manifest in addition to simply coming back up. It is important to name and clear.

Some folks are doing energy work on your PTSD so expect some measure of relief in the meantime, and hopefully openings into new directions (which the energy was blocking).

[LiberalEsto]

6. Light and blessings

to you and your children, FirstLight.

:hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

7. Bless your heart....

I am SO sorry this is part of your experience, FL.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I didn't know those details. How horrific. :cry:

I trust The Universe shall keep you and your beautiful children completely safe...that your paths will never cross again, not in any negative or harmful way.

Sending hugs of love and support to you all...

:grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug:

[Kookaburra]

8. You got 'em sweetie.

May you and your little ones be surrounded by angels during this tense time and always.

[I Have A Dream]

9. FirstLight, I'm sending them.

I'm so sorry that this is happening right now when things are coming together for you. I know that it's difficult, but please try to continue to focus on the good in your life while you do what you need to do to feel safe.

If there's anything at all that I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask. Seriously.

I'm praying on behalf of and sending light to you and your family, and I'm asking for light to be sent to your ex as well that he might awaken to the damage that he's done in the world in general and to your family in particular so that he stays away from you.

:loveya:

:grouphug:

[OneGrassRoot]

11. Well said, Dear IHAD. I join this prayer as well. n/t

[laylah]

10. Protective prayers

send your way. Be vigilant and trust all will be okay. :hug:

[FirstLight]

12. thanks guys...

:grouphug: I am actually really proud of myself and my response to the news. I mentioned that I had a feeling about it a few months back, so I think i was more prepared. Now I am sure if he shows up in court or something it will probably affect me. Butso far so good, i feel very safe and protected and loved and guided...and yes, i am focusing on those acpects.


something that ran through my thoughts... I started a trend in feb by telling the boyfriend/whatever that I wasn't playing with him. Kind of defining my boundaries and what I would accept from a man in my life. Then, the teen blows up and he goes too, because again, i defined what was accabtable and what wasn;t as far as male energy.... this may just be the last peice of that puzzle. Define what's acceptable and what's not, finish my 'male' issues once and for all....
then maybe i can clear my space enough to welcome something different in the males in my life...

patterns, changing our habits and what we expect of others and ourselves... i think i'll go with that! ;)

thanks for your love, i can feel it from here, for sure

[I Have A Dream]

13. That's wonderful, FirstLight!

:thumbsup:

:loveya:

[MorningGlow]

14. Oooh that's good thinking

I get the feeling (make that Feeling) that you're right. And good for you! :toast:

[Cleita]

15. So sorry. I'm doing what I can spiritually to keep him from you

and your children. He may be on his good behavior though not wanting to go back to prison. I have a relative doing life in the Big Q and it's definitely not a pleasant place. Do get your protective ducks in a row though.

[SCarrington Smith]

16. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...

I am so sorry you and your children are having to endure such a terrible moment. May God and the angels watch over all of you.

[Fire Walk With Me]

17. Working...

Working...

[SheilaT]

19. Unfortunately, as everyone here knows,

a restraining order means nothing to someone determined to do harm.

How easy are you to find? Is it possible for you to relocate, to disappear in effect?

[FirstLight]

20. pretty much dissapeared, already

name change is legal this friday, kids' school is pretty obscure and not near our house, we've moved five times in as many years while he was gone...and i have a PObox instead of a physical address that could accidentally be published in the phone book. though I pay to be unlisted too.

I refuse to run scared, if anyone doesn't belong in this town...it's HIM.

[SheilaT]

21. Good.

Sounds like you are doing as much as is humanly possible, without actually being in the witness protection program, do not be very findable.

The other thing, and I'm sure you've already dealt with it, is are there former friends/neighbors, or any relatives that might give you away?

I agree about not running scared, and since you've already moved, it's not as though you're staying in the same place you were always in, making it easy for him to come after you.

[southerncrone]

22. Sending protective energy shield to you & kids.

He sounds perfectly evil. May you be safe from his horror.
:hug:

[Lucinda]

23. For you and your family's safety - and also for him

May he make changes in his life which will benefit you all

[FirstLight]

24. Court date today

Have to go talk to the judge about the namechange. It's run in the paper 2x instead of 4 because i had to scrape together enough for the second payment (court fees get waived, but not publication)

I hope the judge will suspend the need for running the additional 2x because he's out and could easily see the names...
cross your fingers it is this easy

Then today it will be official, i am a new person! ;)
thanks!

[elleng]

25. Good luck (or 'break a leg.')

Hope you have an understanding judge, FL.

:hi:

[I Have A Dream]

26. Make sure that you get the exact time that the judge does whatever...

he/she does to finalize it. I would think that it's a birth time of sorts.

:)

Congratulations!

[FirstLight]

28. cool idea!

then i can be 'part aries' hehehe... not bad for a cappy with NO fire in her chart!

[MorningGlow]

27. Fingers, toes, arms, legs, and boobs crossed

Go, girl! :yourock:

[FirstLight]

29. boobs....?

:rofl: now that's a visual!

[Tumbulu]

33. What happened- did your name change go through?

I am hoping so and also wonder how you are doing. Still sending prayers for calm and safety.

[GliderGuider]

30. What is the opposite of Tonglen?

Tonglen is a Buddhist practice in which you breathe in another's suffering and breathe out love, peace and liberation towards them. I'm doing that for you right now.

The anti-Tonglen I'm looking for would be one in which I breathe in another's peace of mind and liberation, and breathe out suffering towards them. I wish to do this for your ex...

:hug:

[BlancheSplanchnik]

31. might want to check your cell phone too...

I just read an article about how stalkers may use the GPS function to locate their ex's.

If I can find the article I'll post the link, since I can't remember enough to explain how to protect yourself .....

But you might be able to google for it too....

You can go to the Verizon or Sprint or whatever store to ask how to disable any app that he could use to track you, for example.....


Cool idea about including this new birth date in your chart! :D

[AC_Mem]

32. Calling in the Angels

Say it with me...

I call forth and invoke the Angel of Protection
I call forth and invoke the Angel of Justice
I call forth and invoke the Angel of Strength
I call forth and invoke the Angel of Empowerment
I call forth and invoke the Angel of The Children
I call forth and invoke the Angel of The Home
I call forth and invoke the Angel of Faith
I call forth and invoke the Angel of Healing

Surround yourself, your children and your home with your Angel Army. My prayers for the very best outcome are with you and yours.

Annette