The Brown STuff DID hit the cooling device.

[kimmerspixelated]

I'm in denial, I suppose, but apparently my husband wants the D word, first a separation. I do, too..I THINK, but all of this hurts so much, and seems impossible at least right now financially, and then there's the daughter to tell. Oh, but hey, other than that, I had a FINE weekend!

[Kookaburra]

1. Oh honey, I'm sorry you're upset.

It really is a roller coaster ride right now, isn't it? Meanwhile, sending you love and light.

:hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

2. oh dear.....

I'm sorry, kimmers.

I mean, I'm sorry that you're having to wrestle with such decisions. It may be the best thing for all concerned, but it doesn't mean that DOING it isn't really, really hard, especially when you have children.

As you well know, deciding what to do is often the worst part.

I send you hugs of support, my friend...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[kimmerspixelated]

3. Thank you so much, guys!

I'm overwhelmed, but overjoyed that I have friends here. Thanks You. One Day at a time...

[Ricochet21]

15. I'm so sorry Kim

Big stuff is going on all around.
We're your buddies, we'll be here.
Good luck :hug:

[kimmerspixelated]

26. Oh, thanks, my dear !

I love you and everyone here! No matter where I go or what happens, I feel like I'll always have you guys!

[LWolf]

4. .

:hug:

[I Have A Dream]

5. So sorry, kimmers. I so hope that everything works out so that...

you can all (including your daughter) be happy. May it all work out for the highest good of all concerned.

I'm sending love and light your way. :hug:

[elleng]

6. Oh golly, kimmers.

:grouphug:

We're with you.

[lildreamer316]

7. I'm so sorry.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
and one more :hug:

[Howler]

8. Damn kimmerspixelated.....

I'm so sorry!!!! We will be here for you here in Howlerville in what ever capacity you need us to be.:hug:

[MorningGlow]

9. So sorry to hear this, K

:hug: Sending light for strength and guidance to make correct choices.

If it helps at all, I'm right there with you--perhaps a few steps behind, but on the same path. Sucks. x( Feel free to PM anytime. :hug:

[mysticalchick]

10. Sending a hug...

... all you can do is keep walking, Kimmers. Keep walking. We're here to help if you get tired or stuck.

:grouphug:

[kimmerspixelated]

27. Thank You, I know

you guys are here, and it is SOOO wonderful!

[SheilaT]

11. Based on my personal experience,

you're entering the worst time. How long it will last, you have no idea at this point. It's okay to wallow a little in self-pity. I,quite frankly, made it through the worst time (about a year for me) with the help of a bottle of wine at a time. Don't be afraid to rely on friends. It's okay if the future looks really bleak right now. Try to remind yourself to take it one day at a time.


I can't know just how it will be for you, but I'm now nearly five years after I realized he was involved with someone else, about two and a half years from when the divorce became final. I chose to move 800 miles away and start a new life for myself. At age 60. It really is never too late. Recently I've come to realize that in my most optimistic fantasies that the marriage had not ended, I would not now have the good life that I actually have. Being willing to start all over made a huge difference. I have new friends, a new job, a new life.

And know that we are all here for you.

[kimmerspixelated]

28. I think you're right...

I'm about 5 years your junior, and wished this had happened when I was younger..Oh,there are a number of positives, and hopefully I can concentrate on them soon. Thanks So much!

[SCarrington Smith]

12. I am so sorry...

Even when you know that things haven't been going well, a final separation always hurts -- we identify so much with the way things are that any change, even if positive, is very scary. I am new and you don't know me at all, but I am sending a hug anyway. Two, in fact.:hug: :hug:

[WhiteTara]

13. Oh Kimmerpixelated!

:hug::hug::hug:

I know that it feels terrible. I hope you have some support close to you. Make sure you find a lawyer. I know the money thing is horrifying, but you have to take care of yourself and your daughter. You will survive and thrive even if you don't see how today and right now.

:hug::hug::hug:

[kentauros]

14. Like everyone else has said, this is the worst part;

it does get better, so just hold onto that thought to get through it all :hug:

[Dora]

16. Good times will be yours.

This leap is a difficult one, and you'll be fine. Bless you, keep breathing. Know that you're loved.

[Ricochet21]

17. It is no coincidence at all

that you "find this out" the EVE of Neptune going into Pisces. A true spiritual, reawakening and rebirth for you.

[kimmerspixelated]

31. I know, and I like what you've

written about Neptune. Greatness is around the corner, I think...as I walk thru the sewage to get to it, perhaps... Dammit all though! Crap-i-mundy, or Crappy Monday, however one seeks to say it! HAHAHA, at least I can laugh a little.

[Kind of Blue]

18. Oh, Dear Kimmerspixelated! I'm so

sorry for your sorrow. Keeping you in my heart of hearts right now and in the days to come.

A wise man told me today about what I am dealing with: as Winston Churchill said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." Don't stop, keep going and you Will come through the other side better than ever before. :loveya:

[elleng]

20. I like that a lot, Kind of;'Keep going,'

[Kind of Blue]

40. The quote was provided by one of

the great minds and spirits here. Sweet and simple :hi:

[kimmerspixelated]

29. That's a great motto!

Thanks! I needed that!

[Kind of Blue]

41. Keeping going, Dear Girl.

We're right there with you :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Mnemosyne]

19. Breathe, breathe, breathe... It can help so much.

I am sorry you are having to suffer so, kimmers. Time and nothing else. :hug::loveya::hug:

[Ricochet21]

22. Please tell us how you do your breathing

thank you, r

[Mnemosyne]

24. I started with something similar to this:

Step 1: Abdominal breathing

Observe your natural breath. You will notice that as you inhale the abdomen rises and then falls with exhalation. Watch this for a few moments to check this flow. Now begin to deepen, lengthen and extend that movement. That is, while inhaling, let the abdomen rise to its limit and at exhalation let it fall completely. Keep the chest still during this entire process – only move the abdomen. Continue this for 20 breaths and then rest.

Step 2: Thoracic (chest) breathing

Again observe your normal breath, this time focusing your attention on the chest. You will notice the chest moving slightly up at inhalation and down with exhalation. Again observe this pattern for a few moments. Now again, begin to deepen, lengthen and extend that movement.This time, on inhalation expand and lift the rib cage, filling the lungs completely. Then on exhalation, let the lungs collapse fully, sinking to the limits. In this step, keep the abdomen still, moving only the chest. Do this for 20 breath cycles and then stop

Step 3: Full Yogic breathing

This combines the above 2 steps in the following way:
First inhale by filling the abdomen and then CONTINUE inhaling as you expand and fill the chest. Then exhale first from the chest as it empties and falls and then CONTINUE exhaling from the abdomen as it draws inwards completely. This is one round of the full yogic breath. Repeat this for 20 rounds.


Remember the pattern… Inhaling - abdomen then chest; Exhaling – chest then abdomen.

GOLDEN RULE: All of the above steps should be done WITHOUT strain. The natural tendency is to heave with effort. The right way is to make it smooth and effortless. Go slow and easy.

Instead, try to picture this breath as a continuous wave like pattern – as if the breath moves up from the navel to the throat with every inhalation and then, down from the throat to the navel with each exhalation. It may take a few weeks of practice to perfect a “SMOOTH flowing pattern with MINIMUM effort and with MAXIMUM capacity.”

This is the desired effect!! Over time, the yoga way of breathing will come naturally to you.


And now for the all-important benefits…

The full yogic breath is the basic building block of the powerful yoga breathing techniques, also called ‘Pranayama’ in Sanskrit, which are known for their multifarious benefits.


But the tangible benefits of the full yogic breath are that it:

*
Releases acute and chronic muscular tensions around the heart and digestive organs.
*
Helps sufferers of respiratory illnesses such as asthma and emphysema to overcome the fear of shortness of breath. It actually increases lung capacity.
*
Encourages proper nervous stimulus to the cardio-vascular system
*
Dramatically reduces emotional and nervous anxiety
*
Improves detoxification through increased exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen
*
Amplifies the auto immune system by increased distribution of energy to the endocrine system
*
Calms the mind and integrates the mental / physical balance.

And the real icing is that it contributes to both vitality and relaxation through this single practice.

http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/news/yogicbreathprint.html


Hope this can help someone. Most people I've observed breathe only into the top of their lungs. This technique helps develop awareness of shallow breathing and does become second nature over time, after practice.

:hi:

[kimmerspixelated]

30. Oh Yes, I do a lot of yogic breathing with Laughter Yoga, too!

Thanks for posting all of this great info!

[Mnemosyne]

36. Hope today was good, or at least not totally sucky!

:hug:

It amazes me the number of people that simply do not breathe. I taught my daughter to breathe properly as a child; she still values it at 32. I am constantly teaching anyone that will listen how to breathe. No wonder I annoy them at times! :rofl::grouphug:

I am also trying to teach myself Sacred Geometry Breathing. We'll see, so far so good.

I've heard of Laughter Yoga; is it as fun as it looks? :hi:

[kimmerspixelated]

38. Yes, it really is fun

and excellent for your health and really, your soul! I like that it is SO creative, you can let your guard down, too!

Sacred Geometry Breathing-wow what is that?? Sounds wonderful!

[LiberalEsto]

21. Oh, my dear,

sending hugs and light

:hug:

[Missy Vixen]

23. Kimmerspixelated, I am so, so sorry

I wish I had some words of wisdom, but all I have right now is a hug.

:hug:

I hope you are surrounded by people who love you and will be there for you. I know ASAH is.

:hug:

-MV

[northernlights]

25. I'm so sorry Kimmer

:grouphug:

[kimmerspixelated]

32. Thank you guys, ONE AND ALL!

It means a lot to me!

I feel your love and blessings and will take all your good advice! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Sweet Freedom]

33. I haven't read the thread, but

having gone through a divorce, I can tell you that the best advice I received about telling my daughter: Do not give any specifics (mom and dad just can't live together anymore). Then tell her what will stay the same, what will change, and give her something to look forward to (in my daughter's case, I told her we'd get a new kitty.)

I can also say everyone here held my hand everyday and got me through my divorce (mine took 3.5 years). They saved me and brought me joy.

(My user ID is a result of that journey.)

We will be here for you. :hug:

[kimmerspixelated]

39. Thank You Sweet Freedom.

I think that is great advice, and I will hold onto it dearly.Truth is, not much will stay the same. New territory in some ways...There will be an uprooting, but there is much to look forward to. Whew!

[FirstLight]

34. hugs and more...

Hope you are doing better today... i know these transitions are not easy and don;t look pretty...but i have to believe they are in our soul's best interest and growth...because that's what we signed up for! Especially living through these interesting times.

:grouphug: I am right there with ya, sister...

[Saokymo]

35. This won't solve any of your problems, Kimmers...

But it's garunteed to bring a smile to your face! :) (Might even cure cancer, too! XD)

Cover Tune Grab Bag: Ob La Di Ob La Da
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6BKhvhSehc

:hug: I hope things get better for you shortly. It can't rain forever, after all.

[kimmerspixelated]

42. I loved It!

Thank you so much for introducing me to those guys! I guess I'm behind the times, I had never heard of them before! Bless you!

[Melissa G]

37. Deep Breath. So sorry..((((Kimmers)))))

Denial is a nice place to rest. Denial is sometimes not denial, but just rest as you are changing and healing.
The advice about not saying much to your daughter is good. I've been divorced with no kids and separated with 2 kids. (we got back together) It's tough stuff. :grouphug::hug: