I think I just lost my job...

[FirstLight]

well i finallyt lost it and spoke my truth. that the boss has been throwing all these various projects at me and not giving me time to complete even ONE task, then making me at fault fo his business not doing well...

anytime i express my feelings he gets all psycholigist on me and says i'm not being rational (why because i am upset?and trying not to yell or curse)...
I dunno, maybe it is for the best. my friends who wanted me tio start a newspaper are gonna need backup launching the new project...

i just feel sio fucked over right now

[FirstLight]

1. this is the tip of the iceberg

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=245&topic_id=136913&mesg_id=137015

happened saturday...

[Sienna86]

2. So sorry you are going through this

Do you think he is projecting onto you? Perhaps blaming you when he is frustrated with his own behavior/decision-making/business failures?

[Kookaburra]

3. Oh crap!

Sounds like your boss is a real gem. I hope things work out for the best for all involved (including your gem of a boss). Sounds like the newspaper is more your cup of tea anyway.

Sending light and love.

:hug:

[LiberalEsto]

4. Hugs!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[FirstLight]

5. energetic and psych attack?

i have been shaky and nauseous all day, really wonky....how can i be this stirred up?

so i was 'demoted' down to 10 hours a week, only working in the office with the wife... 'till i can get THAT right'...
not sure if working for a married couple with psychology backgrounds is a good idea anymore
feels like a good cop/bad cop routine gone awry...

ugh...does anyone read the energy of this?

The whole conversation was an exercise in manipulation too, like he had to be in control of the tone, who spoke when, etc. I was really struggling to stay calm. and when i finally burst into tears (so much for not showing weakness) it was a lost cause.
In no way is it okay to call manipulating others 'good business' and refusing to take ownership of putting extreme pressure on me and not giving me all the information. He actually pulled up my resume and said he hired me because of this and this and that I haven't done any of it... uh, ya...where on there does it say i know database configuration or excel? when 70% of the work was programming bullshit i had to teach myself by the seat of my pants.
example: I gave him a outline/word doc of the tasks i was working on and where they were at.
instead of commenting on content, he tells me to re-do MY checklist in excel format because his way is better!
nuts, right?

so what now...bad thing is that i hate throwing up my hands and walking away, because it seems like the easy way out
but then again, am i supposed to work to death over those 10 hours, when every hour is scrutinized because they don't want me cheating on my hours? (seriously, they have that pre-determined attitude..they warned me several times about not fudging hours because they have fired people over that...) what kind of threatening environment is that to work in? i should not want to work for people who think I am a crook right out of the gate...

trying to ground and deal with it later when my head isn't buzzing...

[northernlights]

21. oh, no....psychologists?

Yikes. My experience with psychologists is that they are the nuttiest fruitcakes out there. And yes, they're playing with your head.

We can start with my aunt, the Brandeis PhD candidate who was Abraham Maslow's pet. Royal bitch. Nasty piece of work. Both daughters were morbidly obese by their teens. Eldest son spent time in mental hospital after trying to kill himself at around 20 or so.

And 1 former boss (bitch) 1 former counselor (bitch) 1 former prospect to buy my guitar (jerkoff damaged it on purpose then offered half price). The list goes on.

Find yourself a new job. Get outta that hellhole.

[teenagebambam]

24. Seconded

on psychologists being, generally, effed up

[SheilaT]

6. A while back I had a boss like that. I quickly realized

that no matter how I did my work, she'd find fault.

The only reason I decided to stick it out was that it was a paid internship and was only going to last the semester.

Then she decided to fire me after the spring break! It wasn't so much the money as I needed the internship to complete a required credit in the paralegal program I was in. Luckily for my I had a second internship going at the same time, and was able to tell that attorney that I was now available to work more hours for her, so I was able to get in enough time to get the course credit I needed.

Obviously your situation is different.

But didn't you express some doubts about the newspaper a while back? Maybe I'm remembering some post not at all connected to you.

Hugs and best wishes.

[FirstLight]

7. newspaper

the guy wanted me to run it and do it all from the ground up... now the vp/editor is going to run it himself, and would throw me a few stories here & there...much less stress.
I don;t want to be wholly responsible for anything like that, especially when i see so much of the world and life being unstable at this point. i'd rather keep my attachments limited and easy...does that make sense...?

[SheilaT]

10. Yes, it does make sense. And I must be

correctly remembering what you said about this. It looked like another situation where you might be being set up to fail. Sounds like, despite the crap that's just happened, you're pulling it together as well as can be done under the circumstances.

[2Design]

8. it is a setup to fail - they want you to fail - not about you

[Lindsey]

9. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're in my thoughts. n/t

[Saokymo]

11. This really does sound like a set up for failure

It doesn't matter how well you perform, this guy is going to find something to fault you for. He wants to be in total control and use you as a scapegoat when things don't go as planned. Don't let him have the honor -- walk away while you still have your sanity.

:hug: I hope things get better for you quickly, too. Seems that a lot of people just had various things in their lives explode in their faces here.

[eilen]

12. Rational? His expectations are irrational.

I don't like that you will be set up to be treated like crap for ten entire hours a week. I get the feeling they will load you with stuff and expect you to get it done when it will take well over 10 hours to complete-- and then call you incompetent for not getting it done in time.

I can think of a situation similar at my job. Some inexperienced staff were given expectations and put in what I consider a dangerous/no-win situation without support and are now being shit on for not knowing the right thing to do. They are all now doubting their ability and self worth.

[FirstLight]

13. 10 hours...

well fortunately, i have backup...the county welfare office expects me to be doing something either job searching or working for 32 hours a week... if my hours are cut, i have to look for another job, period. mandated. so they can kiss my grande ass...

the wife called me twice yesterday evening, and made no mention of the event...just acted like all was well and asked me to call... ugh, good cop bad cop routine, i swear.

today i go into the office first thing with my USB drive with all their files, and my final timesheet...

[Howler]

14. sending comfort

:hug:

[MorningGlow]

15. Mind games

You do NOT need those. x( Interesting, too, that other people knew of their behavior--their warnings give really good perspective, no?

I agree with what you said about this job coming along to remind you what you're capable of, but it's not your ultimate destination. It's like it was there to ease you back into the workforce--and maybe remind you of the irritating personalities in the working world! (Sorry about that part!! :crazy:)

[FirstLight]

16. hesitating to call...tummy in knots

i need to call her at least to see what she says...
send me angels! :hide:

edit: voicemail, good! Now i just said "i guess you know my status has changed, and i am supposed to be just doing office hours with you...i guess that's fine, but i *will* be spending 20Plus hours the rest of the week looking for another job, because i have to do that for welfare. i'll drop off your things at the office, and i guess you tell me what you want to do...thanks, bye"

fore! ball in her court!

[Matariki]

17. I learned that it gets you no where expressing feelings at work

You have to lay out the problems as solid facts - if you are being given too many projects and not time to complete anything write down everything you have to do, show him the list (so he can see how big it is) and ask him to prioritize. I've found it really helps to make the person who is giving you to much work to prioritize.

I strictly avoid starting statements with "I feel like..." at work. I don't mean personal stuff or being emotionless - just regarding actual work issues.

[FirstLight]

18. ugh, lord, please help me get past the hurdle of talking to the wife...

I'm feeling sheer avoidance on my part now, don't wanna return a call or answer if she calls...
just want to stick my head in the sand...make it go away!

how do we deal with this little child inside that says "IDONTWANNA!"
is it because after the emotional browbeating i got I am just scared? am i really that much of a pussy?
is it because i don't want to have to work for them at all anyway, but i feel bad leaving the office in the lurch?
what's the best way to handle the desire to cut and run?

[MagickMuffin]

19. You MUST take control of the situation

If the wife acts as though she doesn't know what has happened perhaps you should use that opportunity to be the "good cop" role yourself. Don't retreat.

1. Tell the "little child" this is NOT the time to retreat but do what must be done. Now is the time to play the adult and get on with it. I think it will prove your ARE capable of handling the situation.

2. Again take control. You are not a pussy, you are just wanting to be protective of your sanity. Don't retreat.

3. If you don't want to work for them anymore than don't worry about leaving them in a lurch. They will manage, they have themselves to blame.

4. Since the wife's role is the "good cop" inform her that the 10 hrs. a week is not sufficient, and you have to find work with the min. required hours.


Now get your head out of the sand and take control of the situation. It will feel liberating and make your self esteem / ego feel better.


Just my opinion. Good Luck :hug:

[SCarrington Smith]

20. Oh no...

I am so sorry, FirstLight...:-(

[Kind of Blue]

22. You're a strong woman, FL.

And an inspiration to me for your tenacity to keep trying.
I send my light and love to heal this situation so that you comfortably land on your feet no matter what the outcome :hug: :hug: :hug:

[FirstLight]

23. thank you all so much

dropping off the stuff at the office this evening...last voicemail from lady-boss was sad...she is gonna be freaking out, but she also sounds like she's looking to punish someone too...and i am NOT willing to even be anything resembling the whipping post...

onward.
Checking in at the JobOne tomorrow and re-starting my jobserach hours and log.
got a much better idea of what i want and what i am willing to do
i realize that i had gotten so desperate for a job i was afraid to say there was something i wasn't comfortable with or able to do easily...
no more, it's all about what i KNOW, and owning that too.

meanwhile, i am also keeping my blank notebook handy to work on my book ideas,
can't hurt... :shrug: maybe i'll finish something and get published and be able to cash in my chips before the rest of the economy crumbles ;)