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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 08:30 AM
Original message
Wow, do I feel weird
Lots of bad dreams last night (I especially remember one where I was having a shouting match with my uber-conservative aunt--over how long to cook some lamb, of all things) that stayed with me after I woke up.

Finally shook the dreams and the bad feelings that came with them, but I still feel "off"--really out of it, fuzzy-headed but not like I feel when I'm sleep deprived, and overall sort of vacant.

Wish I could just put my nose in a book and settle into an organized alternate reality for a while, but got stuff to do today (Cub Scout community service project wheee). Hope this goes away soon.

So am I alone in this, or is anybody else feeling this "out to lunch" energy? :shrug:
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japple Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 08:53 AM
Response to Original message
1. I do too, MG. Had weird dreams last night--not bad, but just
too much to figure out, which is probably why I can't remember most of them. I feel totally "out of it."
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northernlights Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 09:05 AM
Response to Original message
2. I normally sleep 10-11 hours easily on Friday night
due to uber-exhaustion from inadequate sleep or rest during the week.

Wide awake this morning at 4am. Worse, when I made the mistake of getting up, the dogs insisted on going out.

Now I can't get moving, but I have much to get done. I think I had wierd dreams too, but mostly lay away worrying about clinicals.

Very, very wierd day yesterday in blood banking. I had to do a ABO/RH gel typing on my own blood. The test, which should have been foolproof, totally failed. The control failed. The forward typing failed. The reverse typing failed. Everything came up positive. Aside from the fact that I know I'm type A, everything cannot come out positive. For example, if forward type A is positive, than reverse type must be negative or something is going on. And the control must be negative or it negates the Rh result. It was a flippin mess and I still don't know why. My other gel tests have all been fine.

Anyway, due to the craziness of the teacher, I fudged the results and threw the test out. Yup, everything came out as expected. Yup. :shrug:

And the craziness of the teacher is a fact. First, as students we are using expired reagents to save the hospital money. Mostly they work, but there is one reagent that is refusing to work, ever. I checked with another student last week, and discovered I am the 3rd student in a row the agent fails with. Between the 3 students, we have done 65 quality checks in a row and it has failed every time. The teacher *refuses* to admit the reagent is contaminated and *refuses* to replace it. However, if we report a failed qc, then all of our tests that day are thrown out and we have to start over. Since we have to complete a couple hundred tests and turn in the results, we cannot afford to do that. So I'm the 3rd student in a row (that I know of) who is fudging results in order to complete the effing rotation. I told the program director that I supposed I could just keep repeating the qc all day, every day until it either works or I run out of reagent...but I don't really want to spend my time that way. She was stunned that the reagent hasn't been replaced. She is too smart to confront the teacher with it while I'm still there, but I suspect there will be new reagent for student #4.

In the meantime, it just kills your motivation. Everything, from that point on, turns into a big "who gives a fuck" fudge job. I hate blood bank. It's the one area where a mistake can literally kill someone. And there we are, practicing with expired,contaminated reagents that are guaranteed to fail every time. :shrug:

Second, the case studies. The teacher is always right, no matter what. And she wants us to do them without consulting our notes or book -- just off the top of our heads. But when I told her that much of the stuff in the case studies we had never covered (and in fact, is not even in our book, never mind our heads) she told me she used to teach and she's read the lecture and it is so. Okey dokey.

Then we sit down to review them, and as soon as we got to the difficult ones, she's like, "well, I don't know what pressures they're talking about there," and "oh, this method was used 20 years ago when I first started and blah, blah, blah," oh, and that stuff is a version of penicillin and blah, blah, blah. So, uh, YEAH, WE NEVER COVERED IT AND I NEVER HEARD OF IT.

Oh, and I was supposed to know that certain coagulation results were "classic" signs of DIC. Except we did NOT cover any specific lab results for DIC in lecture. And the 2 times I have seen it, in this lab and in the other lab where I did chemistry, they did NOT diagnose based on coag results. In one case, I saw the pathologist's report, and know for a fact the diagnosis was based on the RBCs in the blood smear. And in the other case, I saw the hospital's protocol for DIC, which again was based on the RBCs in the blood smear. No mention of coag results in *either* place.

Best of all were questions that I got right that she insisted were wrong. My favorite was "does a single antigen fit this pattern?" and my answer is "no" and she says I'm wrong. So I put her "right" answer (in red -- she requires that we put her input in red :eyes:) directly under the phrase "a single antigen." Her answer, btw, is "yes, antigen E and antigen Dya." In other words 2 distinct antigens are "a single antigen." Her explanation is that there are 2 patterns -- the 2+ pattern at 37 degrees and the 1+ pattern at ahg. And that a single antigen fits each pattern. Except the question didn't ask if a single antigen fit "the 2+ pattern" or if a single antigen fit the "1+ ahg pattern." It asked if "a single antigen fit the (implied single) pattern." Because there is really only one pattern, which is a more complex pattern due to having multiple antibody:antigen reactions. Which was the point of the fucking question to begin with. They were asking if a single antibody was causing all the reactions, or if the patient had multiple antibodies.

But of course, she was right. Unlike the 1st student, though, I don't butt heads with her. I just gracefully admit my incompetence. But at least with that particular question, she noticed my careful positioning of the red correction, and then realized what I was saying. :D She did a doubletake, and then muttered, "well I can see how you might have *thought* that's what they meant. But your answer is wrong." :rofl: What a freakin' fruitloop. I think it runs in bloodbanking...
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #2
10. Oh dear, NL!
There's nothing more frustrating than incompetent (and crazy!) instructors compromising your education and grades. x( You have my deepest sympathy. :hug:

Woke up early too. I'm sure I could have slept longer, but MG Jr. decided that 6:40 was a fine time to start his weekend! And he wouldn't let me go back to sleep. :banghead: Good thing I went to bed early last night.
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Kind of Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
3. I'm lunching this morning because
I'm sure I drank way too much chamomile tea last night. Overslept and started work late, even though I woke up responding to someone calling my name directly in my ear - I was by myself last night. I'm sure the male voice was trying to wake me up. Went back to sleep after I sat up and realized my husband was still at work. Dreams I remember snatches of - a good sign since I haven't recalled a dream for a few months now.

I just want to go back to my chamomile sleep
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Sweet Freedom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 10:19 AM
Response to Original message
4. I dreamt about lamps
:eyes:
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southerncrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-11-11 12:03 AM
Response to Reply #4
23. Illumination
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Proud_Lefty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 11:10 AM
Response to Original message
5. I've been feeling weird all year
Completely off, pulled out of my comfort zone, and now dangling over chaos everywhere. Glad to feel disengaged in a way, but not feeling grounded or comfortable in any way, shape or form. Seems like everyone's going through the same thing, at least to some degree. Can't wait for these planets to calm down a little and let us settle back into our lives.
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 12:07 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. Disengaged--yes
I have felt that way for a long time, in varying degrees. But this morning--phew--it was topped with an extra helping of loopy sauce.
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FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
6. but of course, twin...
had weird dreams too... and whatever i was going to retain for understanding got shattered with a kid fight in the living room waking me up...

still on coffee cup #1, i'll let you know if it gets any better...
I gotz stuff to do today too, and there's a little niggle in the back of my head that tells me i either forgot something, or am GOING to...
:hide:
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FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 11:52 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. side note...
Edited on Sat Apr-09-11 12:03 PM by FirstLight
my 'herbal medicine' supplier decided to stop growing, so i have been in a state of flux for the past week... hooked up once, but it isn;t a reliable source. and so i am feeling a little off due to lack of being able to 'alter' my brain and pain management...
i wish i could just go to the freaking corner store, man...
one friend says it is a sign that the universe is telling me to quit
i'd rather quit drinking than that, we all know which is more harmful...
ug,
and since i prefer to be altered in the evenings, i have been ingesting wine in quantity
~~~~
OKAY- SHIFT IT! had a cleansing program in my medicine cabinet for a year now, just took the first pill... let's see if it helps!
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. How's 6:40 a.m. grab ya?
That was when MG Jr. decided was the PERFCT time to start boinging around. x(
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northernlights Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. not to whine, but
6:40 am in my house is sleeping in :cry: :cry: :cry: If I'm not out of bed by 5am, I won't make it out the front door by 6am, in which case I won't make it to the hospital by 7am. :cry: :cry: :cry:

Ok, I am whining. But seriously. 6:40. Sleeping in. :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 11:36 AM
Response to Original message
7. Awake at 3 am, weird intense dreams that I cannot remember.
Just feeling "off" also, MG. :hi::hug:
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
9. WELL THAT'S BETTER!!!
Thanks, guys, for letting me know I'm not alone/crazy. ;)

Back from the community service project--it was supposed to go till 2:00 but the boys worked like little demons and were done in an hour and a half AND they had lunch AND they had time to blow off some steam rolling down a hill for a while and we're STILL back early.

Anyway, the project was to pick up trash and windfall sticks/branches/tree limbs on the perimeter of our local "living museum" (pioneer village). It was a lovely day, and walking around in the warm sun and cool wind did wonders for my mixed-up energy. Very grounding.

I can't say enough about getting outside, weather permitting, to sort ourselves out! :hi:
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FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. here, here!
if it gets above 40 today, we may try that...

meanwhile, going to redeem my mani/pedi gift cert. Laney is getting the mani, iu'm getting my feet rubbed...i know *that* will be grounding!

already feeling the effects of the cleanse, headache and a little woozy, a massage chair and my feet in some warm water will surely help!
but i dumped out all the wine in the house and put away the herbal paraphenalia so i can really work this shift
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eilen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 02:56 PM
Response to Original message
14. I feel very crappy
I am having a very hard time changing habits that should be relatively easy to do, a hard time getting motivated to buckle down and do the kinds of things that actually really do make me happy-- it is a case of inertia that has me feeling like I am walking through jello-- that I have been fighting for the past 4 years.

Physically, I am not doing so well -- there is such a thing as too much flow. Usually to manage the pain, I take an ibuprofen but have been avoiding it. Caved this am as my head was killing me (after trying the fresh air, sunshine and exercise in a naturific place and lots of water) and boy, that was not good. Headache went away but man... Sorry if this is TMI.

My head/brain is foggy. I just want to go under the electric blanket, read and eat junk food and ignore all current events and everything scary or that pisses me off. On the face of it-- that doesn't really seem horrible does it?
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 04:58 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. I'm with you
Seriously want to hide out. Can't. x(

Here's a :hug: for you. Oh what the heck, here's another--they're free. :hug:
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BlancheSplanchnik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-10-11 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #14
22. I have similar struggles, eilen
the inertia is a big one for me....hard to do what I know will help....

self-sabotage....


would love some instant improvement, but .... maybe the solution to lack of instant improvement is do something small. Then do something else small. Incremental improvement.


:hi:
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Melissa G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
17. Totally foggy this morning. Then my car just stopped in the middle of a busy street intersection
Edited on Sat Apr-09-11 06:28 PM by Melissa G
for no discernible reason. I jumped it and took it 3 places for a diagnosis. Clean each time.

Got home and the pump to the pool had leaked out a foot and a half of water.

Next, got a call from the office with an impending computer crash on our cash register computer. This was after finally getting the crashed business website up this morning after being down for a week.

:hide:

All but the pool pump is down to a dull roar. So much for my day off...sigh.
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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 06:11 PM
Response to Original message
18. Had a dream I was cuddling with my son and then..
....he started talking to me in my father's voice. Freaked me out.
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Kookaburra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
19. Big whopping headache ALL DAY LONG
Ugh! I went to the meditation anyway, and soldiered through all of it, but my head has been hammering all day. There were some Reiki practitioners and massage therapists who offered help, but the damned thing just kept coming back. Then, around 5:00 the monster storms started -- heavy rain, lightning, high winds, hail (and tornado warnings) -- and the headache decided to let up. Guess I really am just a human barometer.
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-10-11 07:07 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. I am a human barometer too
When rain is coming in, my ears ache--namely that standy-uppy stiff-cartilage squarish part on the outside. It was doing that yesterday afternoon even though the only rain around was more than a whole state away.

Sorry you felt bad for so long, K. :hug:
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BlancheSplanchnik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-09-11 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
20. some maybe, but more panic attacks
And a kind of Waiting for the next clear phase feeling.

Chanting nam myoho renge kyo and doing EFT seem to be the best help.......


When things are not as fabulous as i'd like, I try (with varying success ;) ) to practice Making the Best of Where I'm At.




See ya soon---that should make ya feel better.

Or motivate you to rush to the nearest store for a bottle of Pepto Bismol!


:P

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NuttyFluffers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-11-11 05:25 AM
Response to Original message
24. hit every stop light, generally down and "off," crying jags, yeah, it's something.
sort of in that doubting phase "they keep talking about the light's coming. just shut up and be here already!" and then there's the darker, "what if all that 'light' actually means turning the world into some reactionary, conservative hell and we're just getting closer to completion!?"

yeah, not a happy, healthy head space at all. so, gotta go out and spend money on ice cream, music, and books. with enough sugary, salty, fatty foods and ephemeral media distraction I anticipate I can achieve a good mental cuddle space soon enough. hopefully its soporific effects can last long enough till this craptastic celestial phase goes away.
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WhiteTara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-12-11 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
25. How long do you get to have a soft side?
My first impression.
:hug:
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