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Edited on Tue Apr-19-11 08:59 PM by mntleo2
...He "worked" and she didn't "work" and all their married life he treated her like she was a dead weight around his neck. When she was dying the light began to dawn on him how it REALLY was. Let me tell you this story ...
My mother was the one who did everything in order to make life easier for Dad so all he had to do was go to work and when he came home, he put up his feet and said, "Where's dinner?" His *only* other job was fixing and maintaining the car. His laundry was done (my mother even ironed his boxers), he never had to mow the lawn, I have no memories of ever seeing him vacuum, paint, move furniture, all he had to do was go to work. While my dad made a modest living, Mom also did all the financial stuff making sure the bills were paid and managing the bank accounts and budgeting what they had.
But SHE was a dead weight around his neck doncha know. And plus she always "spent too much" and never managed things right. All those years I watched her try to get him to sit down with her so she could show him what she was doing so he would know (and not criticize her), but he always said, "I already know what you are doing, this is why I know you are not doing it right ..."
A few weeks before she died, all of us in the family were gathered in the front room just chatting and talking with her. We all knew she was dying and it was light on the surface, but heavy underneath. My father was furiously rifling through the papers and looking for something. He kept interrupting the flow of conversation asking, "Where are the insurance papers? Where is the mortgage agreements? What did you do with the check stubs? Where is the safe deposit key?" On and on.
Finally, after the questions got too much for her, my mother said mildly (uncharacteristically as usually she would have gotten up and looked with him in response to his demands), "You know Warren, we have had over 40 years for you to know this stuff. I don't have much time left and I don't want to spend what little I have answering, "Where's this and where's that!"
My dad was enraged and he stood up and yelled, "You are just going to DIE and leave all this mess for me to figure out!" We all sat there in stunned silence not know what to say or do. But Mom did not respond, she merely dismissively turned back to the rest of us and said, "Now what were we all talking about?"
When my mom died, in spite of their modest income and raising three kids, paying off a house and nobody ever going hungry, she died with my father owning over $1,000,000 in assets and savings.
So just WHO was "the weight" and who was not? Sometime I will tell you how after my mom's death, my dad immediately married the women of his dreams. someone who partied and drank and had lots of fun, unlike my mother who was sober and steadfast. In truth this new wife was a greedy horrible woman who drove my dad's family away, abused him horribly, and eventually took everything he had and abandoned him to die alone in his underwear and shivering on a bare couch. Suffice it to say, if there is one thing I learned from this it is what real "work" is and is not. Believe me valuing something is something you do when you know it is out of love no matter what it is. And paid work is good but the 24/7 unpaid work is just valuable as the faithful work of someone like my mom.
So besides being an awesome, funny, hard working, caring women, she was FAR from "dead weight"!
Hope this helps
Love
Cat in Seattle
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