Couldn't resist: Another silly story to finish...or start??

[kimmerspixelated]

(Rick started it!)

Deep into the forest tour, trailing the large group of other like-minded birdwatchers, Fredericka was swayed by the rather tall man with the dark purple corduroy jacket. He had the most beautiful, wavy, auburn hair she had ever seen. The smitten crush she felt placed a satisfying smile upon her Burt's Bee-d lips, but her private joy quickly turned to fear as.....

[Howler]

1. She heard a very loud flapping of gigantic leathery wings

Then the ear piercing scream of a taradocto dinosaur bird!

( yeah I know .... Taradocto is mis spelled its not on spell check either):(

LOL! I am also still basking in the warm afterglow of stellanoir's "Paleolithic plugs "

[kimmerspixelated]

2. She looked up at the treetops and trembled,

while the others seemed to be running for their lives, as the purple corduroy-ed man tapped her on the shoulder...

[Howler]

3. And said...

Careful that bird looks about to go.......ARRGGGGG @#$%^&*@.

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4. Just then, the director yelled, "Cut Cut Cut!"

"That's not what I wanted, you idiots!" "I want the terradactyl to sweep in from the left, dive down, and poke out the eye of that
handsome guy! Kripes, you weren't even close"

Narrator: The crew was overworked and tired, they had been working on location in the desert flats of Utah and doing their studio work at MGM in Hollywood, the title of the new $40,000,000 extravaganza movie was to
be _______________________ starring ________________________________ and the beautiful ________________________

[Ricochet21]

13. The Movie was called "Visit Beyond the Ages"

starring Antonio Banderas and Lady Gaga

[kimmerspixelated]

5. Thankfully, she moved out of the way just in time.

"That's not all I wish to tell you...just you, while the others have fled.."

But wait here comes that pesky director again!

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6. switch 4 and 5

[kimmerspixelated]

7. HAHA!

Well, the eccentric director looked pissed beyond compare!

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8. What the FFFFFFFFUUU....

Is that damn Mercury Retrograde again! The G*d D*mn wing fell off of the freaking bird! Can't you techies make anything right!?
The head of the techies, Buck, had taken enough, he got up into the grill of the director and shouted, ""

[kimmerspixelated]

9. Listen to me you RE_TARD!

For what you're paying me, you can shove it up your$%#*! But as he bid his last hrrrrumpf, he caught a glimpse of the divine Miss "Fredericka"...and thought OOOH-LALA...

[Ricochet21]

10. My,

what curvatures she has coming right off of her other smooth assets, maybe later I'll ask and see if she'd like to go

[japple]

14. over to the Lost Prospector Saloon for a sassaparilla. It was hot,

and I do mean hot. 100 degrees in the shade.

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16. Sassaparilla lololololol

:rofl:

damn, burnt my lips, DANG!

[japple]

24. What else would you expect in a saloon in Utah?

[Howler]

11. DELETE!!!!!

LOL! I was to slow!!!

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12. It was strange, one was lit and pointed up,

while the other was rather dim... yet he tried again, how'd you like to join me tonight at the

[Howler]

18. OOPS!!!!! DELETE Again!!!!!

I was to slow! I didnt even see the prospecter.:rofl: :popcorn:

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15. You can't take it back now!

[Howler]

17. But You said it so much better!!!! :)

n/t

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19. I wonder where that Prospector went?

[japple]

20. went into the same time warp this story has entered.

[kimmerspixelated]

21. But BUCK saw the Lovely Fredericka slip into the arms of

THAT woefully bad Actor with the Auburn hair!

[japple]

22. As I said, it was hot, and poor Fredericka had not eaten anything

since supper the night before. She had grown lightheaded and was close to fainting when Antonio caught her just before she fell.

[kimmerspixelated]

23. Antonio, Antonio, Gasp!

Where am I? Who the fruck are you?

[kimmerspixelated]

25. Okay, Okay, So I'm Not Johnny Depp!

I've got this outrageous accent to offer you as I whisper in your ear!

[japple]

26. Fredericka appeard to be headed for another swoon. "Your

breath is appalling," she cried. "Oh," said Antonio, sheepishly. "It must have been the calf fries and chorizo I had for lunch."

[kimmerspixelated]

27. Well, on the set of Once Upon A Time in Mexico, Depp's breath

was even worse, let me tell you! That guy likes Jalepeno's on everything!

[japple]

28. "Oh fiddlesticks," said Fredericka. "I would let Johnny Depp

eat jalapenos from my lips any day of the week."

Just then, there came a loud, anguished cry

[Ricochet21]

29. A car came speeding, curving wildly and crashed

right onto the set. It was the salesman from Burt's Bees, why, it was BURT himself! "Where in the frak am I?" He said.
Anybody can use some lip balm, we have a sale going on here? Just then, the mad director really popped his cork, "How in the hell
can I get anything done, Gaga won't even come out of her trailer, I just spilled my sasparilla all over my lap, Fredericka is playing queen bee, and I just stepped on the gas instead of the brake!" "These freaking Toyotas!!!!"

[japple]

30. Just then, Lady Gaga decided to make an appearance. Dressed

head-to-toe in champagne colored chiffon, she slithered onto the set like a

[Ricochet21]

31. Surrealistic diva

and said, "Where's my coffee darling?" "And who is driving that awful Toyota, it's like, you know"
After her coffee appeared, she said "Where's the script, script lady?" "What's next?"

[japple]

32. "What's next???" shouted the director. "You don't know your lines?

You were given that script three weeks ago, and Minerva, the script lady gave another copy to that assistant of yours just yesterday--what's her name, Eve. Egads, what's happened to professionalism?." The director sat down in a chair and wept while everyone else milled around trying to look occupied. Lady Gaga appeard stunned. "Eve? My assistant? My assistant is named Kevin." At that moment, a tall, exotic dark-haired woman moved from the back of the crowd.

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33. Her red lucious lips had an enormous shine!

"Hi, has anyone seen my husband Burt?"

[japple]

34. "Oh, there you are, Evie, darling." said Burt, gazing fondly at his

voluptuous bride. "I hate to interrupt your work, but it didn't look like anything was going on at the moment, so I stopped by to bring you more pomegranate lip protector."

[kimmerspixelated]

35. Just then...

Antonio, visibly drunk, stumbled into the vicinity and confessed:

[kimmerspixelated]

36. I LOOOOOVE YOUR LIPBALMS!!!

But WHen are you coming out with a margarita flavor????!!!

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37. Just then, the driver of the Toyota uncanned himself from the wreckage and said,

"What the hell do you think I'm wearing! Phew! That stuff'll make your lip buzz! I can still taste the salt! In fact,
I'm SUING YOU BURT, weren't for your alkyholic lip balm, I never woulda wrecked my Toyota! Dang Ya."

He limped down the road talking to his lunch bucket, murmering, "Gonna Suuuuu that bastard, damn leg hurts, Gonna Suuu him"...

[kimmerspixelated]

38. When out comes a rumpled Parrot-head, from where we know not..

exclaiming, I actually met The Margarita man himself- Jimmy BUFFFFFFETTT!

[japple]

39. In the meantime, the director seemed to have gotten control of his

emotions, grabbed his bullhorn and shouted, "All right! Let's get this set put back together. One of you flunkies get that Toyota outta here." There was a flurry of activity as the cast and crew worked mightily to get everything in its proper place.

The director, Myron Sweeney, puffed on his cigar and paced back and forth, flicking his riding crop against his yellow jodphurs, muttering to himself. At last, he

[Ricochet21]

40. had landed a film where he producers weren't up his arse

he could have a bit of creative freedom on this one ever since the shocking box office hit, "Sultry Nights of the Bad Lands"
At least none of his crew or stunt people had gotten hurt.

"ANNOUNCING ANNOUNCING: ALREADY EVERYBODY! we're ready for Antonio's big love scene with Gaga" "Now lay down there Gaga, just like that, no no no, not under the pony, ON the pony, yes, that's it. And Tony, I want you to place your hands ever so slightly on her..."

[japple]

41. waist, and pull yourself up behind her in the saddle. Tony, you

drunken fool. Miss Gaga, are you alright?" Lady Gaga's flimsy chiffon had been dragged through about 100 feet of prickly pear cactus and sand, and her delicate hairdo was ruined. "Cut, cut," yelled the director, steam coming out of his ears. He popped a nitroglycerin tablet under his tongue and sank weakly into his director's chair.

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42. "What am I to do!? What in God's name am I to do?"

"Antonio, you pervert! All the women you could have and you can't even behave for one little scene....Kriest!"
"Ok, again, let's take it from the top: Lighly hold her waist and whisper lovelies into her ear..."
Enraged Gaga flipped Antonio once again from herself like an attack from a wasp! She slapped Antonio crisply across his face and said, "Don't you ever say such a thing to me again!"

Director to Gaga: "What did he say to you?"

Gaga:

[japple]

43. Before Gaga could tell the director what Antonio had said, the

sky was suddenly darkened by a fleet of black helicopters. There must have been a dozen or more.

[Ricochet21]

44. The director

I may as well call it a wrap for the day, those copters must be on the wrong set! Don't they know that Apocalypse IV is filming on
lot 54?!

It's a wrap. To his assistant producer, he barked, "Get me the producer Goldman, or, is it Sachs? I got some words for him!"
Tapping his fingers, mumbling under his breath, "$450,000 a day this is costing me....."

[kimmerspixelated]

45. Of course, that meant that Johnny Depp had arrived!

...To replace the drunken Banderos!...but there was a slight heighth difference to contend with, but Gaga was suddenly a LOT more GAGA!!! And really, what woman wouldn't be???

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46. What the hell is this obsession with Depp!

shouted the director. Oh well, makeup, do what you can, tomorrow, SIX AM SHARP, someone get that guy a box and let's get started!

[kimmerspixelated]

47. But Depp, being a Gemini, all at once charming, but then

you know, the OTHER side, looked pissed that the director had brought attention to his one and only fault!

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48. What's this?

The helicopters weren't lost! They were busy unloading cases and cases of plastic sheets and duct tape. It was wide-scale panic all over California! The president had ordered everyone to tape themselves into their homes immediately because of the high levels of radiation coming across the sea from Japan!

[kimmerspixelated]

49. Lo and Behold GAGA was into the Duct Tape bigtime, trying

to make a dress, for God's sake!

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50. For God's sake,

if that woman is so stupid and staved for Aries attention, let her walk around in a friggin baggie.
I think all 11 of the planets must be retrograde!
Somebody get that woman a bunch of beefsteaks (besides Depp) immediately!

[kimmerspixelated]

51. But something was making the purple curdoray jacket

remember it??..stand up all on its own.... A creepiness settled in on the set, like a Halloween night fog.

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52. Goodness sakes, it's the radiation!

It makes corduroy stiff!

What a mess we got on our hands now! People who can only get out of their clothes with scissors! Why was it only affecting corduroy while millions are busy wrapping themselves in their houses with plastic and duct tape.

Must of had to do with the genetic makeup of corduroy?!
We'd better get some fabric expert on the phone to find out more...

Dial,.... ring, ring, "Hello?"

[kimmerspixelated]

53. Oh, Hallo!

Oh, eets, YOU! ..HAHAHA Listen dawlings...I'll let you in on a little secret...As we speak, California is tumbling into the sea...Catch the next bus to Utah- STAT!!!

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54. Radio Station KRAP Reporting!

REPORTS: "IT'S A HOAX! IT'S A HOAX! EVERYBODY RELAX, CALIFORNIA HAS NOT, I REPEAT NOT TUMBLED INTO THE SEA!"
"ALL UP AN DOWN THE LEFT COAST PEOPLE WERE SCURRYING TO AAA TO GET TRIP TIX TO UTAH....TO NO AVAIL, IT WAS A HOAX"

"Keerist, what next, trine (astro term) to do this with two Aquarians, I should have known better!"

[kimmerspixelated]

55. Just then, a woman in white appeared,

speaking softly with something like a Bulgarian accent...and a very obvious THIRD EYE.

"Everyone must immediately calm down...you are upsetting the exotic birds we flew in especially for this film production. Although they are now at last resting safely within their cages, I had my men take them deeper into the forest near the brook, a safer haven away from all this madness."

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56. (this could go on forever) Whispering, the director said,

"Why are we whispering, if he birds are a mile away?" The crew was quite astir, "Why, I've never seen anyone with a real third eye!"
She must of had great vision, or something. Suspicions were aroused earlier when the bird-lady arrived in her own school bus.

The windows were completely darkened on the bus, and the voices of many children could be heard from within....

[kimmerspixelated]

57. And she said,

" All good things have to come to an end. I thank each and every player(poster) for all the crazy, creative, funny astonishing bits of story-telling..."

Winking with her THIRD EYE she said


GOODBYE!!!!


The End!

[japple]

58. Thanks Kimmers for ending this little exercise. I was starting to

feel guilty for not calling in sick to work on Friday so I could stick with the story. HAH! These are fun.

[Ricochet21]

59. thank you Japple

you're good at these!