What is your greatest fear at this time?

[OneGrassRoot]

Please give it some thought. It's not as easy as it sounds.

If it's "right-wing religious fanatics taking control" exactly what does that boil down to as far as what you're afraid of?

If it's environmental destruction, exactly what does that come down to as far as the core of your fear.

What is the essence of your greatest fear?

You get the idea.

:grouphug:

[PinkTiger]

1. Mine

I try not to go there, because whenever I visualize my fears, they often happen. My greatest fears are to my family, of course. As far as the world goes, I don't fear. Everything I feared has already happened - Reagan, Bush I, Bush II - I guess the worst thing would be that Donald Trump or somebody like him gets into politics in a big way.
I'm not really afraid of that much. Why worry?

[OneGrassRoot]

3. I feel very strongly that in order to heal....

and for Humanity to evolve into being more compassionate and cooperative, we must identify our fears. I mean really dig deep, not the surface-level manifestation of our fears.

Until we do that, our hearts aren't truly open and we're not being honest with ourselves, let alone others.

That's why I ask. But that's merely my opinion, of course. ;)

I'm still working on identifying mine, based upon what my triggers are.

I agree that worrying is useless.

What is the worst-case scenario that frightens you about Trump? What is the essence of that fear? (But if you prefer not to say because you have had experiencing iwth it manifesting, I totally understand. Maybe that's your fear: identifying it for fear of giving it energy and thus manifesting it?)

:hug:

edit for typo

[BanzaiBonnie]

64. I find Rosenberg's psycholgical model useful

because rather than identifying fears, all I have to do is identify what need is not being met.

We must be able to feel safe in order to have higher brain functions working. When we don't feel safe, the amygdila is all lit up. That's the ancient part of our brain, that buried deep toward the back of our skull, right over the brain stem.

That part of the brain is continually taking in all information about our surroundings and checking for danger.

One of the things Rosenberg did, was to always carry around a notebook, so he could write down whenever something set off a trigger. Later, he could reinact the event using NVC for a different outcome. He could practice Giraffe language, even when the other person was not there.

[OneGrassRoot]

76. Thank you, that's a good point....

especially since the word "fear" itself -- like so many other words reflecting human emotions -- is a trigger in and of itself.

I still say so many are terrified of being human. That belief grows by the hour of late.

I may go back through this thread later and try to look at it through the lens of seeing what need is not being met.

I mean, there are only x number of fears and/or needs, right? When you get down to the essence or core of it all.

It manifests in multiple ways, but I was hoping to get down to the essence of the most common, basic, core-level fears and identify them.

[OneGrassRoot]

77. And I wonder....

what need isn't being met if one has a visceral fear of being human (though I realize many would deny that is a fear). For discussion sake, let's assume that is a truth for many. What need to you feel isn't being met for that fear to be present?

Thanks. :hug:

[BanzaiBonnie]

82. Feelings list

I've found we are generally using very limited descriptions of feelings. Here's to enriching our feelings vocabulary with permission of CNVC:

Feelings when your needs are satisfied

AFFECTIONATE
compassionate
friendly
loving
open hearted
sympathetic
tender
warm

ENGAGED
absorbed
alert
curious
engrossed
enchanted
entranced
fascinated
interested
intrigued
involved
spellbound
stimulated

HOPEFUL
expectant
encouraged
optimistic

CONFIDENT
empowered
open
proud
safe
secure

EXCITED
amazed
animated
ardent
aroused
astonished
dazzled
eager
energetic
enthusiastic
giddy
invigorated
lively
passionate
surprised
vibrant

GRATEFUL
appreciative
moved
thankful
touched

INSPIRED
amazed
awed
wonder

JOYFUL
amused
delighted
glad
happy
jubilant
pleased
tickled

EXHILARATED
blissful
ecstatic
elated
enthralled
exuberant
radiant
rapturous
thrilled

PEACEFUL
calm
clear headed
comfortable
centered
content
equanimous
fulfilled
mellow
quiet
relaxed
relieved
satisfied
serene
still
tranquil
trusting

REFRESHED
enlivened
rejuvenated
renewed
rested
restored
revived

Feelings when your needs are not satisfied

AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worried

ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irked

ANGRY
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed
CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
torn

DISCONNECTED
alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indifferent
numb
removed
uninterested
withdrawn

DISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset
EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-conscious

FATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn out

PAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful

SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed out

VULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shaky

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful


The contents of this page can be downloaded and copied by anyone so long as they credit CNVC as follows:

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: [e-mail]
Phone: [phone]

[BanzaiBonnie]

83. Needs list

The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.



CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmth

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water
HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence

PLAY
joy
humor

PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding


The contents of this page can be downloaded and copied by anyone so long as they credit CNVC as follows:

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: [e-mail]
Phone: [phone]

[OneGrassRoot]

84. Thank you....

I just saw these. :hug:

[PinkTiger]

65. I fear his ignorance.

Trump has proven, by his own remarks and his hair (LOL - but come on, does he really think his hair looks good???? If so, he is ignorant!!!!) that he doesn't have a good handle on reality. If he were ever to become an important political figure, we are all screwed.

[OneGrassRoot]

75. I agree, and that applies to so many!!!

Pretty much the entire spectrum of potential Republican candidates.

;)

Yes, the hair alone is enough to trigger fear!

:rofl:

[Kookaburra]

2. Been working very hard to release fears

I can't write them down, because that just gives life to them.

[OneGrassRoot]

4. Very, very interesting.....

PinkTiger said the same thing.

Very interesting indeed.

:hug:

[MorningGlow]

5. Easy for me

I don't give a rip about possible social or political futures because I know that no matter what happens, humanity will continue on as best it can. We're more adaptable than we think. So for me, my greatest fear is personal--being alone. I mean my loved ones dying and, in my elderly years, being completely alone--not having anyone in my life at all, having to take care of myself even if I get sick, and dying alone. Absolutely freaks me out. Keps me up at night in sheer panic if I let myself think about it.

[OneGrassRoot]

7. That's huge...

and probably one of the most common core fears, don't you think? It's not one of my fears, but I TOTALLY get where you're coming from, and I thank you for sharing, MG.

:hug:

[BlancheSplanchnik]

33. Oh Glow, me too

:hug:


It's a fine line between talking to get it out and finding support, and talking about it out of habit, reinforcing the Energy, wallowing, helping it happen!

The one thing that is helping me change my fear energy is chanting nam myoho renge kyo...I've tried everything else, and again and again, it's the one thing that underpins the rest.


My other big Fear is the loss of Nature--flora and fauna destroyed by our relentless fertility...... too upsetting to think about, I want to cry. Humanity will continue, correct---it's the rest of the planet we're supposed to SHARE with that's getting crowded out.

Could it be that Cancer has such energy in our culture because we humans are behaving AS cancer does? Spreading relentlessly, aggressively, without concern for the host?

[MrMickeysMom]

70. Does it come close to death itself?

That is an absolute singular experience. I was there with my mom, but I had to watch her journey as she, alone.

Of course, no one wants suffering and I've had inspirational stories. I guess I could be alone if I didn't have to go through death alone.

Perhaps I have a lot to consider here.

[NuttyFluffers]

6. fear of suffering poverty or loved one loss before the greater transition

i don't see 2012 as the 'end of the world,' more of 'the end of the world as we know it.' certain bad structures are just not going to make it through unscathed past a certain level of human experience. and with the tribulation, greater amounts of people are waking up to the idea that there is serious work to do to make the world a better place. 2012 is just a date where there should be a tipping point and a general direction of 'where to go from here.'

but my fear is that i won't make it economically, in a manner i find comfortable, to that date. or that not all of those i care for dearly will see this time with me. yes, it's a conceit to believe i deserve a certain standard of living and economic empowerment, and it's also a conceit to believe that everyone around me has life contracts that compel them to be my staying emotional support as we enter greater turbulence. but it's what i feel, and what i fear.

but the only way to grow up is to offer this fear upon the altar of faith and let it go, to stop giving fear power. ... that's a lot easier to type than it is to incorporate into my being.

[OneGrassRoot]

8. ....

"but the only way to grow up is to offer this fear upon the altar of faith and let it go, to stop giving fear power. ... that's a lot easier to type than it is to incorporate into my being."


I hear you. I respect that others who have worked through this process don't want to "rehash" it, so to speak, but I don't think most people have really gone through this process.

Thanks again for sharing.

:hug:

[Avalux]

9. My greatest fear.......not being accepted for who I am.

I've been exploring this aspect of myself quite a bit lately and want to change. I don't want to be afraid anymore. I was in a long-term relationship where I controlled my emotions to a fault; learned to be quiet and not make waves, not make my needs known or else suffer the consequences. I think it stems from childhood though, the predisposition to be that way....my mother was not affectionate and when I was upset, would tell me to suck it up.

I am trying to learn how to express myself without fear of rejection or repurcussion. Those things may happen of course, but I can't worry about it anymore.

It's difficult but I'm getting there.

[OneGrassRoot]

10. I'm glad....

I'm glad you recognize your progress, and that you chose to share here.

I'm grateful.

:hug:

[Avalux]

28. You are so kind....

this forum has been a source of enormous support for me, even though I don't really post. So much inspiration and understanding. :hug:

[NuttyFluffers]

13. hmm, fear of exposure and rejection, that's another fear i have.

thanks for reminding me... i think? :dilemma: :shrug: :hug:

sometimes trying to always 'do the right thing' and 'keeping up appearances' is more damaging, but internally damaging instead of externally damaging. but 'do no harm' also applies to oneself, such a hard lesson to remember. at some point we must ask, "when do I count? when can I be weak and forgiven?"

yeah, that's a hard one, and good lesson to bring up.

[Avalux]

27. I have compromised my moral compass and ignored my intution.....

because I was so afraid I'd lose love if I disagreed or got angry. Definitely internally damaging and now I feel like a child, learning a new way of relating. :hug:

[BanzaiBonnie]

85. NVC might really be helpful to you

It's helpful is first identifying your feelings and then identifying your needs. It sounds like when you tried to express anything, you were shut down by your mother. Practising in a safe group setting has helped me immensely in stating what I need and standing up for myself.

[rosesaylavee]

11. Climate Change

Loss of life and thousands of animal and plant species due to it. Concern and fear that we won't act soon enough to prevent incredible devastation causing future generations to suffer needlessly due to our greed and stupidity. That greed will prevail.

[OneGrassRoot]

12. Spot on....

Thanks so much, roseaylavee. That's a biggie...a group consciousness fear, I would think.

:hug:

[Howler]

14. Not physically being able to go the distance.

I now see the interconnectedness of all living things and am able to tend and care for alot of different speicies......
But At 51 years old I wonder for how long?
I used to have alot more vitality and vigor to work long hard hours without physical complaints.
At 51 years old my body is starting to complain.... ALOT. LOL! in painful and in some instances very humiliating ways! I have never felt more physically vulnerable and totally at the mercy of physical limitations. sigh.

There is so much I want to do for this planet and all the living creatures I come in contact with on it.

I have finally found my life's calling "To be of service" and exactly what that means in all its permeations and am slowly losing the physical ability to do it.
Damn..... I'm tearing up as I type this.......

I guess the Essence of my fear is not getting it till it was too late and not being able to carry it out.

[OneGrassRoot]

16. Bless your heart....

I think I share some of that. Did you ever see "Benjamin Button"? When born, he started off as an old man, and as he aged, he got more youthful and vibrant.

That's the way it should be. We know ourselves so much better as we get older, have more wisdom, but the physical vitality doesn't always go along with it.

:(

You are young though, Ms. Howler. Maybe you'll find your magic elixir to sooth any aches and pains, and allow you to feel free to serve and do all the wonderful things you DO!!!!

:loveya:

[Howler]

31. LOVED that flick!!!!

If I do find an elixer You can bet I'll share it with all the Asah members.LOL!

LOL! I invited Howlerville back into "Eden" 18 years ago But when I created it I had the body and endurance of a 30+ year old.
That will teach me! Careful now....You just might get what you ask for.snort!

[bigmonkey]

15. Atomistic, ruthless selfishness being the "real" order of the world.

I've thought about this a lot, and worked and reasoned it away as a possibility. I don't act as if it's a possibility. My upbringing, however, was full of blindside surprises, and I always fear that I'm secretly mistaken.

Fear drove me for a lot of my childhood, but I broke through it in a religious context, in a strange way. I couldn't believe that the fear they promulgated in the church I attended could really be correct. It just seemed wrong to get people to behave by making them frightened - wrong all the way back to Source. I wish I could live that vibrantly.

I guess my greatest fear for myself is that I never learn to live my purpose, and, failing that, that I wind up having to act ruthlessly towards others to "save myself".

[OneGrassRoot]

17. Thank you for chiming in, bigmonkey ...

:hug:

I can't even begin to imagine that you would be ruthless, and I have a feeling you're living your purpose in more ways than you may realize. I definitely always, always appreciate your insights and wisdom.

:loveya:

[I Have A Dream]

18. My biggest concern...

is that I will someday not have the courage to do the right thing -- to not do what I know is right when it truly matters.

The way that I handle this is to try to act with integrity one action at a time and to not allow myself to take the easy way out even on the little things since doing so will weaken my resolve for my actions to be integrous and courageous when it really matters.

Just to be clear, I do realize that we sometimes have to choose our battles rather than taking on every small injustice that we encounter or fighting against things where our actions won't have any kind of impact. I try to reserve my energies for those things where I can truly make a difference. (Sometimes "making a difference" is as simple as showing onlookers that someone was willing to speak up in that situation.)

When I do find myself in a situation where I can make a difference, I expect myself to act with courage regardless of the fact that my ego may recoil from taking the required action.

[OneGrassRoot]

19. I have complete faith and confidence....

that this will never occur, not unless -- as you say -- it's for the Highest Good for All concerned.

I respect that it's your concern, IHAD, but I'm sincere in that I have zero doubt whatsoever that you have boundless courage and the discernment to use it most wisely.

This reminds me of something I read recently...it's at the edge of my memory.

But it's something to the same effect, of essentially practicing whatever -- compassion, kindness, courage -- in little ways, but consistently, to "build the muscle" of that way of being and doing, so that it becomes more second nature.

:loveya:

[FirstLight]

20. ...honestly? zombies, man

I tell you, the recent stuff about zombies and the undead in movies, etc..,.have been just awful! and yet, i am addicted to that stupid series 'the walking dead' ... I wonder what that essence is? is it the unnatural animation of something? is it the fact they can;t be killed? is it that they try to eat you? :scared:
it's an irrational fear, i know...and not something we even entertain as a 'reality' but it's still a collective phenomenon...

now if I look at it from a psychological view, i can see that there are many who would qualify as 'walking dead; in our world today. Those who feed on others, be it money, energy, or by taking their livelyhood... and then there are those who have lost hope or are addicted or full of hate, they seem to be dead in a way too, or at least 'animated' by something unhuman.
Then there's the whole gore thing...I hate those movies, i do not watch horror flicks or even action flicks cuz i am not into blood & guts. But the only way to 'kill' a zombie is to get messy. It hits me on a guttural level, like the body is just a 'meat bag' and though i am well versed in field medicine, I am quite squeamish...
then again, how much of our collective is desensitized to human suffering and blood & guts?
from the wars we see on you tube up close & personal, to the 'crime' shows on tv that show horrific murder scenes, photos and such...
It's like no big deal to see brains on the pavement anymore... gross and fascinating at the same time. Like slowing down to see if there's any blood at a car accident...morbid curiosity gets the best of us...

i dunno, that's some of my weirdness... i'm just a big scaredy cat i guess... and don;t come looking for me to help when the zombies come! (I'd probably off myself to avoid being eaten) :rofl:

[OneGrassRoot]

22. radioactive terrorist zombie apocalypse

That must have freaked you out when you saw that in GD or on FB!!!

:rofl:

Speaking of "Walking Dead," when is that coming back on? I loved that series!!!

I got nothing. I think I need to have a glass of wine later, come back and re-read, and then see if I have any response whatsoever.

:rofl:

:hug:

[FirstLight]

30. ya, I could SO not comment on that concept!

It's a freaky one! :rofl:

I am not trying to trivialize your thread either, it is really a fear of mine, has been for some time.
in my wiccan years when we'd talk about black magic, and what scared us... it wasn;t vampires or werewolves, but the whole concept of something UN dead that just made me shudder. the unnaturalness of it. and I think the stuff i mentioned about the fact that many on this planet are already 'walking dead' is very true...

i dunno when the series is back, i think it takes them a long time to film, what with all the 'special effects' (lol, zombie makeup is really brains made of jello!) :rofl:

:hug: to you too...

[Myrina]

21. I fear I will go thru this life never having known love.

44+ years of lonley and every day hurts. I've become an expert at the duck and weave & master of the 'nothing bothers me persona' but sometimes I lay in bed or sit on the couch and just cry, wondering what the hell is wrong with me that I am so invisible and unloveable.

[OneGrassRoot]

23. Oh my goodness...

Oh, Myrina. Girl, you just touched my heart to the core.





Do you mean romantic love, or just any type of relationship love? I was in my early 40s before I ever experienced romantic love.


I am so very sorry you feel loneliness every day. I am so sorry, and I wish for you what you are wishing for yourself.


:loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug:

[Myrina]

29. Thanks OGR ...

I was referring to ANY kind of love. My parents were well into their 40's when I was born ... a menopause oops (and often reminded). My siblings were all grown and made no secret that they resented having to babysit me ... mom and dad had their jobs and their friends (and their issues) so I spent lots of time alone from age 8 on. Nobody taught me how to make friends. Nobody taught me how to 'be on a team'. I was chubby and really smart - the only attention I got was being teased at school, so I learned to blow it off, keep to myself and act like it didn't bother me when I was dying inside for someone - mom, dad, anyone - to hug me and tell me I was just fine and it was the snotty kids who were weird, not me. For someone to be proud of that report card. Or offer to teach me how to ride a bike.

I never dated because I didn't know how ... had hundreds of one-nighter's and always hoped they'd "call back" but if any ever did, it was for another boink. Not to get to know me. Not to be my friend or try developing a relationship. Now I am so used to it that I can cut people out of my life without a second thought.

Even to this day, I can say I don't have any friends who really know "me". Several people know facets of me but nobody knows all of me. Emails I send for "let's go to that movie" or "how about a cookout" go unanswered. My siblings are all several hundred miles away and not in contact. Some of them don't even know where I am, as far as I can tell.

My cell phone package includes 100 minutes a month and the only time it rings is if it's a bill collector or a provider of sorts to remind me of an appointment. I bought my house 4 years ago and have only had guests a handful of times. Nobody "just stops in to say hi". I can go entire weekends without speaking a single word out loud, because there's noone around to talk to.

I've tried to be a "joiner" but after all this time, it's really hard. Neighborhood meetings, office picnics/outings, the hockey booster club, local band events ... I go and try to be 'nice' and 'fit in', but nobody seems interested in what I might have to say.

You probably know from my FB page that I've got love in the form of wags and barks and sloppy doggy kisses, but it's not the same. Aside from the dogs, I truly feel that if I died tomorrow, nobody would notice.

And with all the therapy and all my self-inventory, I can't for the life of me imagine what I could have done (or do) that makes me so ... optional.

[OneGrassRoot]

34. That sucks

I'm sorry you were neglected in childhood, in so many ways. To crave hugs and not get them from your parents.

:cry:

I feel very awkward, always an outsider in social settings, so I can identify with feeling invisible when with others. It doesn't feel good and it seems to get harder as we get older, not easier. :hug:

All I know in this moment that I want to give you a hug. Since I can't, please hug yourself...and let it be from me. And if you need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener.




:loveya:

[Tess49]

24. We love you! No one is unloveable. Please believe that.

[Avalux]

25. Myrina.....

there is nothing wrong with you! You must accept that about yourself and believe you are lovable....that is the first step. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

26. ...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Proud_Lefty]

32. My heart is breaking for you, Myrina

Wish I knew the right words. I've experienced this loneliness and alienation many times in my life and know the constant pain you talk about. I've had many people come into my life recently going through the same thing and I'm constantly sharing this, that they are not alone and it doesn't always last a lifetime. Another thing I learned is that when I love myself the same way I would love that special someone or child in my life, the more others are drawn to love me as well. I hope you can feel the love we all have for you and start that inner light aglow. You'll be so surprised how quickly you can turn around your feelings of rejection and pain into strength and assuredness.

Much love to you. Please PM me here or on FB if you ever need someone to talk to. :hug:

:loveya:

[Myrina]

35. Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts ...

... I didn't want this post to be a poor-pity-Myrina party ... I am still dealing with alot of the fallout from that sad little girl as it's only been a year or so that she's been able to 'speak' and I've been able to feel what she dealt with.

"Get over it" was my way of getting thru because the loneliness made everything so raw, so I am actually in a little better place (emotionally) now that I can feel the hurt for her.

What still bugs me the most, though, is looking back and seeing that she was a little girl, then an adolescent, then an early-20-something ... just wanting to be noticed and accepted & she couldn't even get that. Nobody deserves to live through that.

[bigmonkey]

36. True, nobody deserves to live with that.

That includes you! You didn't "deserve" it, but I guess that's what you're working with now. To tell the truth, I work with some of the same stuff. Being confident and loving yourself is hard work sometimes, but the result is worth it, despite the fact that the outward results don't show up right away (at least in my experience).

[OneGrassRoot]

43. I second this.

:loveya:

[BanzaiBonnie]

37. Sometimes I fear I'm not safe because there are

people who might kill me if I don't believe the same thing they do. I don't give it a lot of thought other than, it's a fact.

I tried to ask *someone about that last night on FB. I asked, " Do you have room in your heart, in your world, for those of us who don't believe the same things as you do?" He didn't answer that.
While a bit earlier he had complained, "I hate muslims that preach if we are not muslims,then we must die!!"

Interesting the hornets nest that's been stirred up. I don't usually respond to that sort of thing, but I thought because he was someone's friend, I might be able to make a connection. I failed at it, but I learned more about myself. He was reflecting a lot of judgement at me, but it was only a reflection of any judgement I might have been making of him. It's really tricky to communicate from your heart without either rebelling or submitting. But it is what it is.

[OneGrassRoot]

44. A couple of things about that....

First, at least where I'm concerned, people shouldn't assume that my FB friends are indeed "friends." Probably 40% of my connections there are former classmates -- people I haven't seen in 30 years, most of whom see the world in a vastly different way than I. Just sayin'.

I know the interactions of which you speak, and I agree. ;)

I've learned a lot about myself over the last couple of days, too, BanzaiBonnie. It is very tricky to communicate from the heart, when the other person has zero desire to truly have a discussion and definitely don't want to listen. And without rebelling or submitting, as you say so well.

Thanks in large part to you, and I more and more mindful of truly listening. My impression is that that is rare of others. Most want to talk or preach; few want to truly interact unless it's in alignment what their beliefs. There are surprising breakthroughs though, and it's usually when I or the other person realize we've assumed -- or judged -- something incorrectly.

:loveya:

[BanzaiBonnie]

48. It was just so sad to see someone

who is truly in such a state of fear. Fear of God is a terrible thing. I don't want to have that sort of relationship with my creator, whoever, whatever, wherever we come from.

[BanzaiBonnie]

49. I really didn't asume that he was a "friend"

but I wanted to give him respect as another human being. I'm guessing he's a very lonely person.

[OneGrassRoot]

51. I honestly don't know....

I really don't know him. :(

Like you, I also wanted to reach out to him and at least allow his venting and acknowledge it because it was so.....sad. Scary, and sad.

Funny that I'm so focused on diving into people's fears, when so many really cling to them and wholly identify with them. I'd really, really, really love to get to the essence of those fears and understand better. It's probably different from person to person.

:hug:

[BanzaiBonnie]

58. I lived with so much fear as a child

that as an adult I made a conscious decision that I was no longer going to live in fear.

As a child I was terrified of God judging me. I had nightmares all the time. I thought I was very bad girl (and I wasn't). I also was terrified of the dark and heights.


So I began to challenge my fears. I would climb ladders.... to the top. I'd offer to climb up onto the roof to clean it. I practiced running this one trail through some deep woods nearby. I ran it until I knew I could do it in the dark... and then I did. No moonlight, very dense cedar grove, about 1/2 mile in the dark. I did it. And at one point along the trail, on that very dark night, I saw something glowing on the ground in front of me. I stopped and found it was some wood with some sort of phosphorescence going on. I'm pretty sure it was a fungus rotting the wood that was the cause of the phosphorescence. If I hadn't been out there in the dark, I never would have seen it. It was really was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

[OneGrassRoot]

59. wow....

:hug:

It breaks my heart to think of all the little girls and boys inside who were so afraid, and often neglected.

:grouphug:

That's really powerful, BanzaiBonnie! You started stepping outside your comfort zone as a child -- wow -- you were really ahead of the game then!

Good for you. And very cool about that piece of wood. ;)

:hug:

[Matariki]

38. My greatest fear is paranoia about people who ask questions like yours.

:P

[OneGrassRoot]

42. ....

:spray:

[Ricochet21]

39. Viral warfare nt

[japple]

40. My greatest fear at this time is that we will have to put down another

50 animals at the animal shelter this week. I guess my fears are local and not global. In all seriousness, I don't have any great fears.

[OneGrassRoot]

45. ....

Bless all the babies. My greatest wish is that they never suffer. Bless you, japple, for working with these beautiful souls.

:loveya:

[WhiteTara]

41. that the right wing nuts take control of the government

and the local militias (we have 3 that I know of in our neighborhood) take that a sign to kill the "libruls".

[OneGrassRoot]

46. That gets to the heart of something I was pondering...

When we, in general, talk about being afraid of this politician or that politician getting into power, I often ask people exactly WHAT about it makes us afraid? Shoot, I don't know...I suppose I think entirely TOO much about nearly everything...but I'm genuinely curious and want to get beyond surface-level discussions.

That is really, really, really hard these days, I find! It was much easier in years past. Maybe it's part of the 24/7, twitter culture. Short. Concise. Nothing really in depth. Lots of information but little real analysis and self-reflection.

:shrug:

Anyway, yes. To me, the fear when it comes to with political fears -- especially for we progressives -- boils to this poem by Martin Niemöller:


When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.


:hug:

[WhiteTara]

50. I've quoted that poem since my youth

and I still feel the chill of the aloneness...so I believe in speaking out early and often; which causes me to fear the stupids.

But, off topic...I love the new logo.

[OneGrassRoot]

52. It's not a "core" fear, per se,

but a lifelong fear of mine is that I will be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, accused of something I didn't do.

And there will be no defending or explaining. I'll be abandoned in "the system," with no way to prove my innocence. This poem reminds me of that same loneliness.

Thank you, Dear.

:loveya:

[Saokymo]

47. Not being able to provide for my family.

Right now things are relatively stable -- we have plenty to eat, the bills get paid mostly on time and I can still afford gas to get to and from work. That can, of course, change in a heartbeat. As long as we have enough food and get to keep the house & land we can make it, but even those two things can be very tumultuous at times.

[OneGrassRoot]

53. Basic survival for our loved ones...

I'm with you. Completely.

My concerns are rarely for me (I don't mean that in a martyrish way, it's just the truth), but are focused on my daughter. Doing my best to provide not only unconditional love, but provide for her safety and well-being. I'm having to release that to a large degree now that we're entering the next stage and she goes off, across the country, to college. It'll largely be reduced to providing my love and support from a distance then. Faith and surrender are my next lessons...big time. ;)

:loveya:

[AC_Mem]

54. Right this moment?

Interesting question - thanks for asking.

If I am literally thinking of my fear right this moment, it would be this. I live in a suburb of Memphis/Shelby County TN, about 20 miles from downtown where the Mississippi is beginning to flood and the surrounding areas are being evacuated. We know that flooding will overtake homes and businesses by Sunday.

I'm safe with my daughter and grandchildren in our home, and we wait to hear if the water will come to us and if we will have to pack what we can and evacuate for heaven knows how long. I dread and fear a knock on my door that could tell us that the water is headed our way.

Things I have and love are right here in my home. Knowing that this is coming and being powerless to stop it is quite humbling. Yes, they are just things and can be replaced, but that doesn't take away from the anxiety of knowing that such a major life change is this close.

I guess its a kind of fear - anticipation - dread. If it is not my family who will be affected, it will be people that I know and love. This is too big for it not to affect someone we know if we live in the Midsouth.

Shine on,
Annette

[OneGrassRoot]

55. Oh dear....

I am so sorry you're being affected, AC_Mem. I'm sorry that so many are suffering from various natural disasters of late.

:cry:

I suppose on one hand being able to prepare -- to whatever degree you can -- is a bittersweet positive; on the other hand, as you say, the dread must be palpable.

I pray the flooding isn't as severe or pervasive as expected right now. I'm praying for a miracle for all of you.

Please be safe...keep us posted as you can.

Hugs to you and yours.......

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

56. What I fear most

is that to which I have an attachment. Non-attachment = no fear.

[OneGrassRoot]

57. Nutshell

Thank you so much. You just provided my personal "aha" moment about the essence of my deepest fears.

:hug:

[BlueIris]

60. That an upcoming political disaster will destroy what was good about this country.

And everything that could be good about the future.

I do not post this casually. The outcomes I am seeing are enough to return us to pre-Civil War levels of class-based hatred and division. It's making me not just pessimistic about the life I want to lead, but dismal. It's ugly.

[OneGrassRoot]

61. "Destroy what is good about this country."

When it comes to politics, people on all sides are always saying -- as it concerns certain politicians getting into office -- "they're going to destroy this country."

And I wonder, exactly what do they mean? What is the fear -- how do they specifically envision the country being destroyed?

Can you elaborate on what you feel is "good about this country" that may be destroyed?

Thanks. :hug:

Edit to add that, as I've mentioned before, I would hate to be in your head, BlueIris. I don't say that lightly. You've had dark visions for a long time, it seems, and I am sorry you are living with that. It must be incredibly difficult.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[BlueIris]

62. I'm worried that a generation of young adults will feel totally ostracized from our society.

I'm worried that the U.S. will lose what shreads of our credibility were left in the wake of Bush I & II. Severe damage to the already damaged economy. That in twenty years there will be an insurmountable gap between the rich and the poor, which is already true in some ways.

I'd post more, but I'd kinda like to maintain my posting privileges.

p.s. I envy people who aren't picking up what I am.

[OneGrassRoot]

63. ....

Thank you.

;)

:hug:

[marions ghost]

66. My biggest fears are related to environment/climate change

We are killing the oceans, trashing the land, not getting it about global warming, not getting it about nuclear, not getting it about other forms of pollution. There is no leadership in energy/environmental policy. Overpopulation, poisons in food, degradation of every habitat of animal and plant, bleached coral, glaciers melting, rainforests dwindling...etc etc etc I have a background in biology but you don't need that to see what is going on.

My fear is that it's too late. If I saw any reason to hope, it would help...but there's not much. On the thinking side, there's just a lot of cynicism & fatalism. On the non-thinking side, there is relentless hostile denial. It's too scary and too complex. Nobody wants to listen to the scientists who are talking about it. Nobody wants to face it.

But face it we definitely will. The earth's systems are far more fragile than people realize. And it will make all other problems pale by comparison.

Interesting question--"what is your greatest fear?" This is what came immediately to mind. Interesting how everyone's fears arise out of their own view of the world.

[OneGrassRoot]

68. I feel there are several collective fears....

and this is the most recent one added to our collective fear, for very good reason, as you state so well.

:hug:

[marions ghost]

79. Very stressful times

-our collective fears in addition to fears that are closer to home are taking a toll. You can't blame people who can't take it all on at once. It is too much. And because the collective fears are so complex, it's easier to ignore them. Solutions are somebody else's business. Meanwhile most people focus on what they have a hope of controlling, ie. things in their microcosm. But the microcosm always is affected by macro events. Many of our current problems wouldn't exist if we had enlightened leadership. Greed and exploitation trickles down.

Caring about the natural environment that sustains us is now seen as a frill that we can't afford. But the breathable atmosphere is only 30 miles up. And the seas are now toilets. Human health doesn't matter anymore, even as we invent new drugs and new procedures, because the basis for good health is a clean environment. Not connecting the two makes no sense.

I wish I could see us really facing these issues. But I don't see it. I think the average person does care about these things, but there is no leadership, no vision, in a world run by corporatists. It has to be a big picture vision that everyone can participate in, not relegated to a band of so-called environmentalists. We all have a stake.

[OneGrassRoot]

80. THAT IS SO WELL STATED!!!!!

Yes, I meant to use all caps. ;)

Seriously, that really is an excellent summary of the micro/macro approach to life and the challenges we face.

:applause:

[marions ghost]

81. THANK YOU

for your kind words & for giving me a chance to voice this.

I am very concerned for the health of humans & animals who must cope with environmental degradation and climate change on an accelerating basis. It is happening whether we pay attention or not.

Many seem to be still in the denial stage, collectively speaking. The first stage of grief. (followed by anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). The corporate PTB are hoping we get to acceptance --re. loss of the healthy environment. I hope we are not already there.

[davsand]

67. I fear being unable to help my loved ones--being powerless.

For myself--meh--I've fought before, will fight again, and have never given up yet. I've done shit that was (in retrospect) probably not the wisest course of action, but it was the RIGHT thing, and I did what I thought needful at the time. I really don't fear a lot when it comes to myself anymore because I've come through everything so far, and I have a pretty good idea of just what a mean old cow I really can be.

What I fear, on a visceral level, is watching my loved ones not be able to do what needs doing. I fear watching my kid suffer and being unable to DO anything. I don't want to watch my husband fall ill and be unable to do the things he loves. I realize I have zero control over anything, but it still just scares me to death to think about it. Tough as I am, I just cannot get my head around being powerless.



Laura

[OneGrassRoot]

69. That's mine, too

As it concerns my daughter, who is the person I hold most dear on a human level in this life.

I also don't have much concern for myself or fear. I don't fear my death whatsoever; that has never been a concern of mine. Her health and well-being is a much different story.

Yep, I'm with you davsand.

Someone wrote about something about attachment above that hit home, too. Of course, on a human level it's hard not to be attached, especially to our children, as far as being concerned about their welfare. That's different from being attached to a house or car or material things, or even one's own success.

But, still, if I could release attachment as it concerns her welfare -- for I fully recognize I have no control -- I think that would essentially remove fear from my life.

I can do it periodically but not nearly enough to make a difference.

:hug:

[Celebration]

72. Do you worry unnecessarily?

I used to worry about my children so much. It was almost as if I had separation anxiety. It was under control, but still, wherever they were, whatever they did, if it was a bit different and I wasn't used to it, I would put on my worry hat. Some of it was sort of justified, but, eh, maybe not. Finally I had done it so much, and I then realized that all my worry was completely wasted, that it had absolutely no effect on the outcome, and things seemed to work out so far, and my worrying was accomplishing nothing. Almost overnight, I stopped. It was almost with amusement when I realized that my husband would get really worked up over certain situations. He would insist on talking about the "what ifs" we are told to ignore. At one time, I would have bought into that. All of a sudden, I was like "You are not being logical. Drop it. I'm not buying it."

But I have to say this--I like control, too. Frankly most of the reason that I taught myself to do distance energy treatments was because two of my children were living away from home. I really didn't like having them call me about this or that ailment and not being able to do something about it! So, at least now I have control over that one thing. Anyway, it is fun and challenging to think of new stuff to do and I spend a lot of time fooling around with various techniques and testing them.

I have some fears now, but not over the top ones, and I can let go of them, and I don't think I have one all consuming one.....that is why I haven't responded to this thread. :shrug: All the energetic stuff has probably helped a lot in that regard.

[OneGrassRoot]

73. I don't know, but I really don't think so...

I really am conscious of not obsessing and I'm not an overt worrier; it's more of an always present, underlying low-level thing for me, as it concerns her.

I don't think I'm very different in that regard from most moms. I don't know.

I also know what it feels like to have lost a child; that haunts me in many ways. But, my concerns or fear revolve more around not wanting her to suffer (I don't mean normal growing up suffering) more so than her totally leaving. And, like others have said, not being able to help...for any reason.

That makes sense about the distance healing. That has to feel good, very proactive.

:thumbsup:

:hug:

[murielm99]

71. Fear of not being able to get health insurance, or

not being able to afford it.

I will be losing my health insurance as of June 1st. I have been turned down by two companies. Now I have to go to the state pool to get coverage. I am afraid of getting sick, or bankrupting us.

I will not be medicare eligible for a little over two years.

This has happened to so many people.

[OneGrassRoot]

74. I wonder....

First, I do hear you, murielm99. And I am so very, very sorry. Yes, many are in this position and it is unconscionable to me. :cry:

:hug:

It happened to me years ago (illness + no insurance = bankruptcy), so I lost my attachment to this fear/concern.

But I wonder, in trying to really dive in and evaluate the essence of the fear, if it's a fear of illness, a fear of homelessness...maybe these types of fears, which are shared by many, are a basic fear of survival?

[Dulcinea]

78. No contest.

That something will happen to one of my loved ones that I can't help fix. (Husband, kids, friends.)

In fact, it's happening right now. My best friend of 35+ years has a mass on one ovary, & they discovered something in her colon too. I'm terrified. Her surgery is tomorrow (Friday, May 6.) At first we thought they'd do robotic surgery, but now it looks like they'll have to open her up so they can get everything out that doesn't belong there. We have no idea if any of this is benign or malignant yet.