Regarding half-truths and omissions...

[FirstLight]

For all my bluster and brash, I guess I am still pretty naieve.
Here's an interesting lesson, and I am kinda unwittingly stuck in the middle, wonder what you guys see as the real issue:

Journalist friend, former editor, i have lots of respect for him professionally, but it seems his private life is a tad 'out of bounds'
He told me about an affair with the female publisher while he was ending his career at the paper and going freelance
he has also apparently burned some bridges with local news connections here & there.
Not because he is a bad guy, but mostly because he has a tendency to call them out on things, which is good reporting.

so this guy has been a friend for years and has helped me get in good with a few folks for gigs too...
once in a while, he will tell me "oh, and don't say anything about *such&such* cuz I kinda had to keep that quiet, or don't let so&so know you know me, it could hurt your chances..."

well this was no different, but this time he didn't tell me to keep things on the down-lo
he went on vacation to "unplug" for a few weeks, and was supposed to return next week
he called me yesterday and asked me to pick him up at the airport tomorrow, cool, he has to come back early, no prob

well i met with our mutual journalism buddy who he is renting a room from next month and it came up in conversation
i mentioned that i was happily picking him up tomorrow

oops! didn't get the message last night that he didn't want me to say anything!needless to say the friend was surprised...
so the mutual friend calls him back and asks him what is up, yadayada... not my business, i didn't know it was a state secret.
turns out he is dating someone who is close with the mutual friend, and didn't want HER to know he was coming back so soon, so he could take a break.

again, not my issue, i didn't know it was a hush-hush thing - and all i could say was...sorry :shrug:

so I wonder, what is this guy's lesson for ME?
am i just supposed to learn how to keep my lip zipped? or is it really HIS issue with deception that is biting him in the butt?

[FirstLight]

1. I guess it's not my job

to take on the guilt from someone else's lack of integrity...

but now i guess i feel guilty for not checking my messages?

oh well...I know that our mutual friend that I blabbed to isn't holding it against me, we BOTH know that jeff has a tendency to 'hide' things sometimes...

so really it is about his own integrity. I just wish there was something I could say tomorrow as we drive back from the airport to kinds say,
"hey, maybe you should look at why you need to hide information from people..."
or "hey, have you ever thought about your integrity in these issues?"

i dunno...again, on the one hand i feel like it's none of my business, on the other i feel like it's being shown to me and involving me because i am just the person to say something...

[lildreamer316]

6. No, not your job at all.

Saying this from someone who has been on both sides of an issue like this..
'tangled webs' and all that.

ANYone who gets involved in not being totally honest in their lives may not deserve judgement, but should go into it knowing they ALONE are responsible for 'keeping up' with that web they have woven. If it becomes too much, they alone are responsible, and should know that.

Not. Your problem. I know how you feel, however.

[Celebration]

2. sounds like his issue to me

Goes along the lines of

"oh what a tangled web we weave........"

......or something.

Living a truthful life is so much less complicated. Sigh. All consequences cannot be foreseen and he just happened not to foresee this........

[MorningGlow]

3. You did nothing wrong

Definitely remember that! It seems like this is a lesson for your friend, though, and you were the "messenger" chosen to carry it out, the catalyst to put it in motion (a small soul agreement, perhaps?) Maybe he will reflect on this, learn something, and change his ways; maybe he won't. If, when you're in the car with him, the conversation gets to a point where you can bring it up and it feels correct, by all means follow your instincts. If not, then it's his revelation to realize. :hug:

[FirstLight]

4. thanks,

sometimes we have soul agreements that just seem weird, you know?
:hug:

[MorningGlow]

5. Oh dude

I cannot TELL you how true that is. I wouldn't even know where to start...

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. He didn't tell you it was a secret, and I doubt that you'd support him in one anyway

so he probably knew not to ask...and poof, there goes another secret...

Eclipses...houses of cards are being blown apart...

[WhiteTara]

8. I'd say, take it as an object lesson on honesty and

let it go. It's sort of a call to keep your own house clean, and maybe your friend isn't really a friend.