My dad died this morning

[Sweet Freedom]

I'm shocked. He's been sick, but I thought he was doing well. He's been on life support since Thursday, but my family decided not to contact me until after they pulled the plug.

I didn't get to say goodbye.

[Kookaburra]

1. Oh Sweet Freedom, I'm so sorry

Sending you love and light to help you through this time. If you need to talk, please PM me.

:hug:

[Mist]

2. I'm sorry SF--I think your family should have given you a chance to say

goodbye. I lost my father in 2003, he was also on life support. It still seemed so sudden, though we a had a day or so to get used to the idea.

[FirstLight]

3. Oh honey, that's awful

:( sending healing and love for you...and that your Dad's spirit hangs around long enough to give you some closure...

:hug:

I don;t know what's gonna happen when one of my folks goes, but it's not a pleasant thought... so sorry for your loss

[davsand]

4. I am so very sorry to hear this.

My deepest sympathy to you. Please know I'll carry you in my heart in this difficult time. I have no wisdom to offer, I'm not sure there really is anything I could say to you at this point that could even begin to help or offer comfort.


:hug:



Laura

[wovenpaint]

5. My heart goes out to you

And my condolences to you and yours. I didn't get to say goodbye to my Dad either.
:hug: Now I know that you can still say goodbye, I think he'll hear you...:hug:

[Kind of Blue]

6. Oh, Sweet Freedom. I'm so very sorry

you didn't get to say goodbye. Please accept my deepest condolences because I really know how you feel. My beloved mother-in-law passed away last week as we were making plans to see her one last time. I pray that you will get a chance to celebrate your dad with family very soon. It's helped my husband and I tremendously. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[MorningGlow]

7. Talk to your dad now

He's by you. Sending you and your family light; may you find peace as soon as possible. :hug:

[elleng]

12. Yes. Thanks. Mom passed on 2 years ago;

daughter and I 'talk' with her often. Daughter's wedding Friday, so will be doing same.

[Blasphemer]

8. I'm sorry for your loss Sweet Freedom

I wish you had been given the chance to say goodbye. May your father rest in peace.

[Mnemosyne]

9. I am so sorry for your loss, Sweet.

:hug::grouphug::hug:

[Cleita]

10. Big hugs for you. Surprise deaths are hard because you

don't have the chance to say good-by even if death was coming, you think you will have time to say good-by and you get gob smacked instead with the unexpected. It happened to me when my husband died. He was going to die from his chronic condition someday, but he seemed fine that day and just sat down and had a giant heart attack that took him out in minutes. I am so sorry you have to go through this and do go through the steps of grieving, they help when death is unexpected.

:hug:

[Sweet Freedom]

11. Thank you to everyone

You are all always there for me and I appreciate it. (That's about all I can express right now.)

[Sanity Claws]

13. My condolences

May he rest in peace.

[Proud_Lefty]

14. Sorry for your loss, Sweet Freedom

Hope you can feel his presence through these hard times to lessen the shock of such an incredible loss.

[I Have A Dream]

15. I'm so very sorry, Sweet Freedom.

Talk to him now. He'll still hear you.

:hug:

[kimmerspixelated]

16. Special hugs

thoughts prayers and more hugs to you.

[BlueIris]

17. (((( Sweet Freedom ))))

Terribly sorry you did not get to say goodbye. If you said it now, though, he would probably still hear you, you know?

[DeSwiss]

18. Sweet Freedom, I am very sorry for your loss.

[onecent]

19. I'm so sorry Sweet Freedom!!!

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time!!

[findrskeep]

20. My heart goes out to you SF.

I lost my Dad 23 years ago and it was probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to face. I still feel him around me from time to time. He's sent me SO many messages over the years. And your Dad will too. Morning Glow is right. He's by you now, so say your goodbyes..he can hear you. Sending lots of love to you.:loveya: :hug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

21. Sweet Freedom, I am so sorry for your loss

and like others, I know your dear dad is nearby and I hope you will feel his presence so you can say what you want him to hear. Lots of love to you as you go through this difficult time. May you feel his loving presence now and in the days ahead.

:hug:

:grouphug:

O8)

[Ricochet21]

22. I'm so sorry to hear that

I'm sure he knew you loved him. :hug:

[Sweet Freedom]

24. oh thank you

i needed that

[lildreamer316]

23. I'm so sorry for your loss...

..and that you didn't get to say a physical goodbye. :hug: :hug:

[murielm99]

25. I am sorry.

I am truly sorry that you did not get to say goodbye.

[BanzaiBonnie]

26. I'm so sorry.

It must have been awful to have it come out of left field like that. And not getting to say goodbye has left you feeling even worse.

[PADemD]

27. I'm so sorry.

You can still tell him how much he meant to you. He will hear you.

:grouphug:

[nenagh]

28. Sweet Freedom..... I am so sorry..

When my own Dad was placed on life support in a Florida hospital, so that I would be able to say goodbye.. I was far away from him geographically...

I thought of life support as a gentle flow of oxygen, but in reality my Dad was so ill that in order to keep him alive in intensive care until I could get there to say goodbye, the hospital put him on some sort of positive pressure breathing machine..

It was terribly exhausting for him in his last day of life, though I really did not understand that until he suffered through nearly a day of that machine.. and he really wanted to be off the machine.. because he wanted to think that then he could walk out of the hospital alive..

On the one hand I did get to say goodbye.. but on the hand.. it was not until I met a physician from the cardiac care unit.. and saw his face as he realized my Dad had spent all those hours on that machine..that I felt so guilty for not realizing that my Dad would have been heartbreakingly exhausted in his last hours of life, more or less just fighting the constant and relentless pressure of the machine..

I really did not understand it until it was too late to take back those hours that he had to suffer..



:cry:

[Mnemosyne]

42. He knows, forgive yourself.

:hug:

[MagickMuffin]

29. My heartfelt condolences, Sweet Freedom

I can understand the shock you are having to deal with since he was only on life support for a very short while. Just try and visualize him the way you remember him and say your goodbyes now. Perhaps it was for the best that you didn't get the chance to say goodbye in person as he might have been harder on you. He is in a state of transition now and will begin his new journey soon enough, however, he is still earthbound for now.

May Light, Life, and Love be with you and your family, including your Father. I'm certain he knows that you weren't told and that he loves you very much and knows that you loved him as well.


:grouphug:

[laylah]

30. I am so sorry to hear this

SF! :hug:

[get the red out]

31. I am so sorry

I lost my Dad last year and there is nothing anyone can say that can ease that hurt. I am sure he is around you though and you can say goodbye. No one can stop spirit.

[NuttyFluffers]

32. oh dear. my condolences.

it's heartbreaking they made that decision without you being able to say goodbye. it's a surprising decision. i hope there was a good reason.

but as i told a cousin, the most precious moments are those we shared laughter and joy with those we love. we cannot crucify ourselves for not being at the bedside during death. we are not like god; we are not given the day nor the hour of death. to punish ourselves with feelings of guilt or deprivation forgets how finite we are, punishing ourselves needlessly.

i'm sure your dad is patiently waiting for your goodbye at the service. in a way, you are given another chance at peace.

[mysticalchick]

33. My sincere condolences to you, SF

Sending you love and light during this time - and I'm so sorry to hear that you weren't able to say goodbye properly. Know that he can hear you wherever he is and you can say whatever you need to and trust that it's heard.

Peace to you and your family,
Lisa

[Sweet Freedom]

34. Thank you again to everyone

I took your advice and talked to my dad last night -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- so I do feel better today.

(There won't be a funeral, so this was my only chance to say goodbye.)

I appreciate everyone's kind words and support. :hug:

[Metta]

35. That sucks.

Condolences. You can still contact him through "memories" and thoughts for the next couple of days. He'll be around before he moves on.

[bigmonkey]

36. Condolences, Sweet Freedom.

It's hard to lose your Dad. You can still say what you need to say, and saying it helped me when my Dad's sudden death came.

[Tumbulu]

37. I'm so sorry

and send my condolences.

[kentauros]

38. Oh Man! I'm really sorry!

And sorry I didn't see this until now. You have my sincerest condolences :hug: :hug:

[yellerpup]

39. So sorry for your loss.

Especially hard since you weren't prepared for it (although few ever are). Think of the love you had for him and the love you shared instead of focusing on what you missed. He would forgive you if you missed your bus, and I'm sure you will forgive him for going ahead without you. :hug:

[cate94]

40. I am so sorry for your loss.

[woodsprite]

41. I'm so sorry, SF

I'm sorry you weren't able to say your goodbye's. Talk to him now and know that he'll hear you. My mom passed 10 years ago and I still talk to her.

[Mnemosyne]

43. Just checking to see how you are doing.

:hug::hug::hug:

[Sweet Freedom]

45. Ok...

if I don't think about. :)

I planned to call him that Saturday -- the day he died -- because someone sang a song that made me think about him on that Thursday. That was the day he went on life support. Ironically, on Thursday and Friday, I didn't call because it was "too late". I can't help but feel guilty that I didn't pick up the phone. (I know I shouldn't, but I do.)

Thanks for asking. :hug:

[Mnemosyne]

46. My sisters kept me away from my mother during the last couple weeks. I was

called there the day she died and they started attacking me and I had to leave- Mom died an hour later. She wasn't conscious, but I deeply regret letting them drive me away.

Time is the only thing that will heal, or at least ease, your pain. Hang in there... :hug::hug::hug:

[glinda]

44. Wow. That is horrible. I am sorry......