Searching for a 'new me'

[woodsprite]

Just taking a moment to try to brainstorm. I feel like I'm totally
blessed (enough money for a few luxuries, good family, plenty of love for
sharing and receiving), but in other aspects, I'm feeling very claustrophobic.

There are some personal things - having to switch from my normal inborn night
person to being a forced morning person to deal with my 11yo son's 6:10 bus time
and procrastinating on exercising, losing major weight to ward off health issues,
but the real problem seems to be my job. It's probably a career, but I don't feel
comfortable calling it that.

Job wise - I hate it. I should be 'embracing the opportunities for
learning and growing', but it isn't what I signed on for. I'm not a
freaking programmer (originally a web designer), but I'm turning into java
coder, and I don't like it. All options to use creativity in the position
have been removed. Don't like it, BUT I will be eligible to retire if I
stay in this position for another 5 yrs. They're putting 11% of my salary into
retirement for me, plus my contribution (see what I mean about being blessed).
With an associate's degree, I can't sneeze at that.

It's like I know I have to do these things, but I'm digging my heels in
and being dragged kicking and screaming the entire way. I know that if I
looked at these changes as opportunities, I'd have a different attitude.
Maybe it's just me (I'm an Aries). Now that I've had that 'realization'
smack me in the face, I'm not sure how to work with myself and come out
turning all this fertilizer into roses. UGH!!! Was hoping something
astrological could explain it or guide me out of this pitch black paper
sack I find myself in.

Because of all this stress (whether I've brought it on myself or not), I
have absolutely no energy. I feel drained most of the time.

Any ideas of how to approach this would be greatly appreciated. I don't
really know where to start. I guess I need a spiritual or internal
makeover - a new me - an attitude adjustment.

[Ricochet21]

1. Sounds like you might have Saturn going thru your 12th house

which brings about all those feelins quite commonly. Also, since last year, with Uranus stirring things up in early Aries, you sound like you need to break away from the "myths of security with no self included." That is way more common. Can't say until I or some other astrologer takes a good look at your accurate birth chart.

If it is Uranus, it would have given you a 1-2 punch on 8/8 and 8/9 which means your insides can't take it anymore.

I wish you faith to let go of the old.

[Why Syzygy]

2. Maybe you need

a vacation. Do they give you those?