freaking out...

[FirstLight]

I need some helpful vibes to find SOME way to get OFF the system and get free from this economic roller coaster. I am trying not to slip into victim, but it is futile, i want to just give up or freak out...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=1851625&mesg_id=1851625

[I Have A Dream]

1. I'm so sorry, FirstLight.

You so deserve a break. :(

I'm sending you lots of love and light, my friend. :hug:

[BlueIris]

2. If I could help, I would.

So this will have to do:

((((( FirstLight )))))

[FirstLight]

3. Hindsight 20/20

The lessons form the Universe never cease to amaze me, seriously.

So, before the drama energy flux of yesterday's whatever... I have been really feeling better about myself personally than I have in a long time. I like my work, both at the non-profit and with Lucie, and I like the freelance stuff i am getting with the Local Monthly paper. I had been trying to get a regular gig there for YEARS, and it all fell into place July.

So part of the whole reason my annual income was up and my rent got jacked was also because of these new jobs. (as well as them lowering standards because of budget cuts, what else is new?)

Recently, I had a reading from Rick, and it really helped me clarify that a big chunk of my issues are in dependence and enmeshment with the parental units. I knew i wanted freedom from that dynamic. Well in order to do that, i would also have to get to a place of TOTAL financial independence, which means no more assistance either. That's huge. I've been trying to get off and had to go back on a few times, and it is demeaning and gut wrenching every time. then you get used to it, and it becomes okay for you to aim a lot lower in your life because you think you don't deserve to ask for more...even if it is you that's creating it and the universe is totally abundant and wants to give you more than you dreamed of. (not like the state, which is a totally negative energy sucker and creates a vortex of shame and guilt)

So after a good cry, i put on my big girl shoes and showed up. and even though i felt crummy for a bit more of the day I still said i wasn't going to let *this* glitch get me down, and i just have to suck it up and find a few more hundred dollars a month...how hard can it be?

so here is have these opportunities re-present themselves today.
As the Universe AFFIRMS that I AM on the correct trajectory, and to keep on keeping on:

I have a website redesign from my boss' boyfriend in my lap, and i just have to teach myself some flash...that's good, that happened Tuesday.

...and the publisher of the monthly paper, just emailed me today and told me to take a serious Hard News story I've been researching and run with it! that's FRONT PAGE worthy!!! It's about the City laying off employees, and going behind the Union's back to do so...

.wow.just.wow.

[I Have A Dream]

4. Yay you!

Wow is right!

:thumbsup:

[Why Syzygy]

5. FirstLight

That is profound! I think you can do anything you set your heart and mind to.

[BlueIris]

6. FWIW, I "get" that your situation will improve a lot when the Sun is in Libra. nt

[WhiteTara]

7. BIg Hugs FirstLight

:hug: I wish I could make it all better for you. I wish I could make it all better for me and the rest of the world; but this hug is what I can do. :hug: