Hello All, I suppose this must be the week for saying goodbye

[Ecumenist]

My husband and I just got a call from his dad that his mother, who was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma in November, that in spite of what her oncologist thought initially, it has metastisised widely and that she has less than 2 weeks. This is hitting much harder because the second anniversary of my own mother's passing was last friday and.......although we've been married almost 5 years, they don't know we're married. I am different colour than my husband and he was estranged from his parents for a number of years before we got married,( his father ran interference and prevented his contacting his mother, she had a CVA some years ago due to an aneurysm in her brain and was easily influenced, along with a personality change). I had been putting together herbal medicine, freshly made essiac and a modified Gerson therapy to augment the oncologist's regimen. It seems that the cancer was VERY advanced when dX was made and so, we find ourselves at the threshhold between life and death. I can say that I'm thankful that we had a chance to speak to one another and I always treasure the things she told me and how she said she liked me and actually told my husband that he needed to hold onto me, not knowing that we were already married and can truly say that we are best friends. My FIL has anger problems and really is the main reason that we haven't revealed the marriage. When my MIL was readmitted to hospital, it was discovered that her electrolytes, sodium were off and WBC was up. My husband's father called him and actually told him that "he wasn't worth sh*t, he hadn't done sh%t and that he'd damn near killed his mother" and that he get's his knowledge from "gypsies and rocks" because my husband went on a spiritual search to heal himself from a emotionally traumatic childhood and his sister who he'd not heard from in 5 years called him and cursed him as well,(that's another story completely). Of course, it wasn't his fault and in fact, his father had once again cut off the communication which of course included his mom. I'm angry that the time that his mom was able to talk was taken away due to his father's jealousy and self centeredness. I ask that those who wish to to send light and strength to my MIL , my husband, and the family. I thank all you in advance for the light and strength provided. I think God for all of you, my new intuitive family. :grouphug:

[NMDemDist2]

1. oh no! that's just so wrong

there must be some heavy karma playing out in this one huh?

I'm so sorry you are losing this lovely lady before you even have a chance to really know her and how heartbreaking for your dear husband. I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers and send him a beam of light tonight

:hug: and hopefully he can see her again before she passes from this plane, but if not, can he hold her in his heart knowing she loved him no matter what?

[Ecumenist]

4. Thank you AZ..

He's on his way to Surprise to see his mom, she's in the Del Webb Hospital to see her and is leaving tomorrow morning. It seems like there's a lesson and I have faith that a blessing will come of it. I have comfort that my Mommy, Margie and her mom and dad and all the loved ones who've gone on before her will be there to meet her and no doubt have been making themselves seen and known by her. I know that there is a peace and when my love spoke to his mother on Sunday, she seems so peaceful about so much of it. I have been assuring my husband that the place she's going to is SO beautiful and so lovely. I am beginning to believe that there is more than a coincidental connection between dates that this is happening. Mom's memorial was the 5th of March 2004 and that's the day that my husband returns to California. I have started a prayer chain that will wrap around the world and reach to heaven. I am also going to reach back in time to my African, Seminole and Creole ancestors and place the cancer into a box, to seal it away and pray over it tonight, annointing it with Saint Lazarus oil and place a St Jude medal on the top of the box and healing herbs around and inside the box. I know firsthand and miraculous healings take place but if that healing is not physical, My husband will get the chance to heal the rift between him and his mother and let her go to God in peace. O8) :cry:

[Metta]

2. Connecting with loved ones in time of crisis and distance.

Tough spot to be in what with you and your husband and your families going through lots of grief. I know it's especially hard doing the work by yourselves. I don't know what you know and since what I'm getting from your post is only what the circumstances are and not what you're doing about them, I'm posting something which works to release and recalibrate grief/ conflict/ anxiety. I offer it to you to either use or not. Let me know if you want clarification, support or confirmation around you doing this.

See yourself in the center of a perfectly formed, comfortably large circle. Fill it with gentle, golden flame, moving through you and all around you. Breathe normally; *let* yourself breathe, don't *make* yourself breathe. If the image of the circle or the flame moves or changes, let it. If you get sensations and feelings moving, just watch. This means your processing what you've been holding and going through. Breathe normally, paying attention to the image and your breath.

After you see the images as being stable and while you're in the middle of them, ask if it's okay to be with any of the people you're involved with right now. You should get a clear answer if the time is right. If it is, hold the image and you'll be right there with them emotionally and physically and the two of you will have unfettered access to each other. See them in their own circle also surrounded, inside and out, with gentle golden flame. You'll feel/see flame, sensations and emotions transmitting back and forth between you. It may be intense at first. The intensity will lessen over time and with renewed effort. Just hold the image and relax. Once you get to this state, let me know and I'll post a follow up image to help put this to rest.

Duration brings increased benefits, as does frequency even though a minute or so is all you need to do at any one time to get benefits if you don't want to do more at any sitting.

[DemExpat]

3. This all sounds so very painful!

I'm sorry that you and your dear hubby have to go through this in this manner, Ecumenist.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

DemEx

[Ecumenist]

5. Thank you So much DemExpat

I am so blessed to have met a wonderful and loving group of people at the right time.:grouphug:

[I Have A Dream]

6. I'm sorry that you had so little opportunity to get to know your...

MIL. However, with your gifts, I'm sure that you'll be able to continue the connection with her regardless of where she is physically.

I ask that the Universe give you the strength to see past the ego issues of your FIL and see the divine light in him so that you can forgive him for the problems that he's caused in your family. I also ask that your MIL be given peace so that she can feel the love of the Universe during this period of time. (This or something better for the highest good of all involved.)

I'm sure that it really helps your husband to know that you'll be there to help her during her transition. That is such a gift to him.

:hug:

[Ecumenist]

11. You know, I believe that I will be able to do just that...

I have a feeling that she'll come to me when she leaves that old painful body for good. I was up all night getting him ready to go the Arizona and he wasn't able to sleep and kept telling me that he believed that God put us together to carry one another when our mothers left this old world. I wo't be able to attend the memorial BUT I know that she'll be able to feel my love. In that next world, you literally feel emotions much in the same way as you feel things,like a breeze, rain, sunlight or the touch of a baby hand here. I know that she'll be alright. I'm just worried about my FIL even though he has hurt my DH so much. They have been together for 46 years and he has recurrent prostate cancer. I wonder if he'll survive, not the cancer but the broken heart.

[lavenderdiva]

7. Ecumenist, I am so very sorry to hear of your MIL's condition...

you and your husband, and your husband's family will be in my prayers. I don't know why God allows these painful situations, but remember that He is right there with you. I do know that having gone through it already, you will be able to give strength, healing, and love to your husband to help him get through. The joy of knowing your MIL will be free from the pain she must be experiencing, will hopefully counterbalance the sadness of her eminent passing. I do not believe that our loved ones ever really leave us. Her spirit will be close to the both of you, perhaps closer than it is now. She will definitely know how much you both cared for her and loved her. I am hopeful that your husband's meeting with his mother will provide him with the peace it sound like he needs so desperately.

As hurtful as your FIL's words are, they may be coming from fear. Fear of losing his wife, fear of being alone, and perhaps much more. I believe that often times, parents project feelings about themselves upon their children. They try to make their children compensate for the failures that they themselves experienced. Its so hard to see your parents as fallible people. Your whole life you've looked up to them for advice and perspective. There often comes a point, when as an adult, you transition and start seeing them as human and capable of making mistakes, and that they can be wrong about a lot of things. That is when you start to love them in spite of themselves. Your FIL certainly has said some very hurtful, painful things to your husband. I am so very sorry. Words can be so very painful and stay with you much longer than physical abuse. But your husband must see that your FIL isn't right, and he is lashing out. Perhaps there is a need for distance between all of you for now. To allow healing to begin. Maybe in time, your husband will see a need to pursue a relationship with his father, based on new grounding. Or, maybe not. Both can be healthy.

Loss is so very painful, and letting go very hard. You and your husband are surrounded by lots of people who care here, and lots of these: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug:

[Ecumenist]

12. Thank you VERY much Lavender..

It just seems like some of the most wonderful souls, whether 2 legged or four, are leaving us when we are facing so much darkness. I hope that once this period passes, we'll be seeing the end of this time for a little while.

[lavenderdiva]

16. thanks, Ecumenist!

I loved what you said about our loved ones (furry or not!) leaving us when we are facing what seems to be darkness. Meantime, I believe they are surrounded by light, and feeling no pain or sadness! What a twist of fate!!!!

Like you, and with you, I am hoping that this period of loss for all of us, will go away for a long, long, long time! :hug:

[bliss_eternal]

8. I'm SO sorry...

:hug: to you and your husband. I hope that your mil is able to be comfortable during this time and isn't in a great deal of pain. I understand how difficult this must be having lost your mom two years ago--it's like reopening a tender wound for you.

Vent here as much as you need to--there are so many wonderful, supportive people here that can help.

[Ecumenist]

13. Thank you Bliss

From what I understand, she's on morphine and seems to be out of pain but she's also not completely awake. She being transferred to hospice today. My husband called me and said he was told that the rest of the family was waiting for his arrival at the hospital to transport her.
I suppose if someone where to ask me if there was any real reqret involved, it's that I won't be able to spend time iwth her here because of silly concerns related to the colour of my skin. The strangest thing of it all, is that much of my bloodline goes back to Europe BIGTIME. I have existing family in France, Spain, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and recently traced my mother's maiden name to Poland and Austria!! I had 2 Asian Great-great-great grandfathers, one from China and the other from the Philipines and belong to the Seminoles, blackfoot, Choctaw, Creek and Cherokee nations. I trace my african ancestry to the Gambia and the Niloctic peoples on my father's side and North and eastern afica on my mother's side, probably a bit of West Africa as well. It's the fact that the roll of the genetic dice cast me and my brothers with brown skin, although my hair is Titian and long but I have first cousins with platinum blond and strawberry blond hair with Ice blue and Ice green eyes with english complexions and both of their parents are brown. I learned early that for me to hate anyone would mean I would have to hate myself. I learned from my family that God doesn't see people in shades of colour to separate them but as many coloured flowers in His garden. I wish that they could see me and people like me as members of their family at large because, let's face it, we're all related to one another all 6.5 billion of us, in one way or another, unless you happen to have been dropped from theb mother ship within the last 10 years. I am thankful that I was taught that lesson early so that I won't have to answer to God why I believed that somehow I was better than another one of his children because I was born with a certain skin colour. I believe that that offends God.

[I Have A Dream]

14. Undoubtedly, you're beautiful inside and out, Ecumenist.

What makes me laugh is how hard so many people work to have skin the color of yours, but then they put down people who have it naturally. I'll never understand humanity. :(

Your ethnicity sounds amazing; I think that you're extremely lucky to have so many different cultures from which you can draw inspiration.

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

15. agreed

:bounce:

[crikkett]

9. ..or to say hello.

You're lucky that you could meet and speak with your MIL, she's lucky to see you and know that her son is happy and well taken care of. This in itself is a triumph over the control and jealousy of your FIL -- who has got to be scared to death, because his carefully constructed walls are crumbling before his eyes. Hence, I suspect, the angry calls from family -- FIL's fighting for *his* life, or at least his way of life.

I wish happiness and healing and love to you, your husband, and his family. Love is the joy and the promise of the dawn; it is the warm, steady light of the sun that conquers darkness and brings warmth back to the ground.

I'm in a similar situation myself, it's very painful and difficult for me to talk about. But praying for you, helps me.

Thank you.
-c

[Ecumenist]

10. Thank you Crikkett

I had somebody tell me almost EXACTLY what you said. His family is from a small insular town Deepintheharta Texas and I believe that it will be quite a shock for her to see her caramel bronze daughter in law. However, I know that we did talk ALOT in november and december and she told DH that he needed to have the common sense to hold onto me and not let me go. She has no idea that he's married...I spoke to her AND my chemically unbalanced SIL 4 days before I married their son and brother.:rofl: I have it on good authority that my mother is waiting for her along with her brother and parents who have already crossed. I don't know if you read a posting I had a week or so ago where I had a dream about my mom and Great aunt Mabel preparing what seemed to be quite a meal. This was before we found out that my MIL was in moribund condition. I now believe that my mother wanted to show me that they are preparing a welcoming party for her,(there were many people there), and she hasn't been able to eat much due to the type of cancer she has and the advanced condition of it. I KNOW that they'll take care of her. I just hate that she'll never be here in flesh for me to hug and introduce myself as the daughter that loved her and tried to give her as many tools as I could to save her life, (I'm an herbalist) even though she didn't know I was here or who I really am to her. I told my husband that I've got to hurry and finish braiding my hair so that I look a hot mess when she crosses. :spray: I will pray for you, light a candle and ask my People to work with the People around yours to help you. There's a reason that these things are happening to you and I and I've learned that there are blessings in harsh times that not only teach BUT there are usually better things beyond our wildest imaginations that compensate. We'll be more than just okay when we get to the other side of this gorge.:hug:

[TNOE]

17. Sorry to hear

and best wishes - hope to see you back here soon! Take care.

[Ecumenist]

27. Thank you TNOE...

I will be back up to speed soon.:loveya:

[onecent]

18. Sending you light and love. My daughter is married to a wonderful

black man, and I cringe when I think of the year or so that we gave them so much trouble. I split with my significant other over this and went thru a terrible time -- then I went thru a very enlightening time.

I have 3 beautiful grandaughters..and the most wonderful son-in-law anyone could ask for. I'm married to the significant other that split from me (because I couldn't handle what he was saying about my daughter who he loved) and now he loves them both.. It's almost as if we were put here this time to "learn" about the black culture.

I read everything I can get my hands on...and tell my grandaughters to be proud of BOTH THEIR HERITAGES.

I'm ashamed, now, of how we acted....but what a learning experience this has been.

I was afraid to tell the world, now I don't care what anyone thinks....and have learned......"until you walk in my shoes"...

Good luck to you. Be proud of who you are..and who you are together.

[Ecumenist]

25. Onecent...

You'll never know how proud I am of you and how much hope that gives me that my FIL will be able to deal with the fact that his bloodline is going to go a bit tan in the next few years, (God willing). I have always believed that God is trying to tell us something when we see reports about animals which "adopt" the young of another species, ie, dogs adopting orphaned kittens, that crow that raised another orphaned feral kitten, Cats that nurse and care for orphaned squirrels, the lioness who adopted the wildebeest calf. It seems that animals have better sense than a lot of human beings and we're supposed to be the most intelligent. But as the saying goes, "common sense ain't common". I could never understand how people had families that were basically all one colour because mine spans the rainbow, blonde blue eyed with peaches and cream complexion to dark as a moonless night with any combination of eye colour and...if you can believe this, FRECKLES. My mom recounted how they would go to the pow-wows where my cousins,(full blood indians) would be in fancy dance competitions. my cousins in Michigan married Greeks, my favourite cousin married a Scandinavian and my youngest brother married a girl from Bosnia-Hercegovnia. The strangest thing for people outside the family to understand is that those of us who are marrying people of other colours are actually, for my family anyway, are doing what my grandparents and great grands always did. The only generation that have married black was my mom's generation. My great grandmother was disowned by her family for marrying my great grandfather not because he was white,(Irish), but because he was Roman Catholic. My mother told me when I was young that she knew I would probably marry another colour not for any other reason than because I was so, er,, umm...different, (I am an aquarian) and she knew from the moment I came into the world I was an old soul. I believe that when someone finds their family in a situation where a member marries someone other than what they are, it's a a lesson in love and a means to give that family a chance to really learn how to love without boundaries or conditions. I can only hope and pray that your wisdom , dignity and sweetness is replicated in my FIL and he learns that although I do have somewhat of a hot temper and definitely speak my mind, I am, as my husband says, more entertaining than anything on TV, in the movies or in print. God bless you and your family and may all people learn for you.

[Me.]

19. Peace

[Ecumenist]

28. Blessings to you

Me.:7

[villager]

20. well, best wishes & vibes from your "intuitive" pals at DU!

Hang in there through it all...

[Ecumenist]

21. I wanted to update all you sweet souls....

As I was packing my husband's bags to send him to Arizona to be with is mom, I was told to put a few extra things in his bags. One of them was a crucifix we bought 2 years ago that had been blessed by Pople John Paul. We'd bought with the idea that we were going to hang it once we moved out of the condo and although we had, I still hadn't hung it. I would see it whenever I went into the hall cabinet, still in it's box and wonder why I felt it wasn't right to hang it in the home we're living in right now. The other was the Bible. I was also trying to arrange hotel accomodations for him but couldn't find a reasonably proced room, try though I may. Econo-lodge was 119.99 a night for crying out loud! So, we decided that he would just fly into Phoenix and find a room once he got there. He landed in Phoenix, late in the morning and found that his father was phoning him. Evidently, doctor had decided to move his mom to Hospice and were waiting for DH to arrive @ hospital. He drove directly to the hospital and when time came to move her, he rode over in the ambulance with her. When staff got Mom settled in the room, DH presented her with the Crucifix. She was so touched and was hanging onto that Crucifix, showing it to everyone who came into her room and telling them that it had come from the Vatican and was blessed by the Pope. He then started to pray, saying "our Father". She held onto that crucifix and closed her eyes, whilst he prayed. He then asked her if she wasnted to pray and she said she did. So, he began "our Father" again, pausing to allow her to repeat the prayer after he first said the words. He then said 3 "Hail Mary" and then asked God for strength and help for his mom and the family. She never let go of that Crucifix. It then occurred to me why we'd never hung that crucifix... because it wasn't for us. It belongs and has always belonged to my MIL. It was meant to help her on her way and to give her a beacon of peace and hope and if the truth be known, I wasn't aware that it had been blessed by the Pope at the Vatican until DH told me. I wasn't even aware an engraving of the Pope was on the back because I'd never removed the Crucifix from the box. He then decided to stay in her room at Hospice with her. We both then understood that in addition to the facts around the Crucifix, he was never meant to find a room in a hotel, motel or otherwise. He was supposed to spend the time with his mom. He said that everytime he leaves the room for whatever reason, she awakens from her slumber to ask where he is. Yesterday, she seemed to be talking alot, relatively speaking. Today, however is a different story. She seems to be more lethargic and although she has had no medication, she is slurring her words and sleeping all the time, I believe that she's about to go into a coma. So, obviously it's a VERY sad thing. But the most wonderful thing, for me anyway, is that while my husband was talking with me on the phone, she awakened. DH asked his mother if she wanted to talk to me ans she did. She couldn't say much and it was hard to understand her, I was able to tell her that I loved her. I know she heard me and she was trying to say something but in addition to the slurring, her voice was barely above a whisper. I's like to think that she knows that I love her and maybe, in some way, she knows who I really am, her Daughter in Law with the permanent tan, no lines.....EVER!! :7 I believe that she's about to cross the River, so to speak, because she's awakened twice today to say that she wanted to go home. I am trying to prepare my husband for her imminent passing, as I really feel that she's ready to cross. DH also told me that he and his father had a discussion and his father and he apologised and that indeed, he needed someone to blame, although it was completely unfair and mean. My FIL has recurrent prostate cancer. In fact, his diagnosis came the day of my MIL was told her diagnosis was confirmed. I have alot of anger at my FIL because he cut off the communication between DH and his mom and himself. I will have to ask God for forgiveness and a blessing of peace for me and my family, even if my FIL doesn't know that his son is VERY happily married for 5 years to me. In the meantime, I want to thank all of you for the kindness and healing energy that you have sent and are bestowing on my and my family and will endeavour to return all the kindness in anyway I possibly can.:grouphug:

[NMDemDist2]

22. thank you dear heart, I was gonna PM you

I'm so glad you took a moment to update us

blessings

:hug:

[Ecumenist]

24. Thank you AZ...

I am so VERY grateful for all the support I've found here and franky, I don't know what I wold have done without this place to talk and find comfort.:pals:

[I Have A Dream]

23. Isn't it amazing that everything works out the way it's supposed to?

I'm sure that the crucifix means so much to her, and I'm sure that it means as much, if not more, to your husband to be able to give her this small but important thing to comfort her.

I'm so happy to hear that your husband and his father have been able to reconcile; they will need each other during this time. (Especially since you will not be able to be there physically. :()

I wlll continue to send you and your family light, Ecumenist.

:hug:

[Ecumenist]

26. Yes...it is...

I never cease to be amazed by things that happen like this. I always say that this alone proves there is a God and that he not only has a sense of compassion but humour too. His Dad has had all the illusions ripped away for his eyes that he can play the silly games of emotional blackmail and when it comes right down to brass tacks, they need one another more than anytime before. I hope to someday be as much a help for all of you and you have been for me.

[rumpel]

29. I find that all the agony you & your DH have endured in patience have

brought about a beautiful bloom. Your unconditional love has brought your MIL so much peace & for your FIL possibly an open mind. It is a gift you all now share. I was wishing your FIL to be able to acquire an open mind.
Maybe this lifetime this is all they wanted?
Hang in there.

edited typo

[Ecumenist]

30. I wanted to let you all know ... my MIL is gone

I got a phone call from my husband about an hour ago. He was sitting with her and refused to leave or sleep, talking with her throughout the night, morning and evening. He told her that it was okay to leave and that they would be okay to go. She passed over around 5:45 pm mountain time, basically in his arms. He seemed to be fine and VERY calm. He acknowledges that he will cry at times but both and he and I are so grateful to have had the chance to be there when she was born into the next life. I asked after his father, (who, due to reasons that he reinforced by acting like a complete idiot and was rude beyond belief, I have no intention of speaking to ever again). The most comforting thing is that God came to get her on the 2nd anniversary on my mother's memorial services. So, I know that she's alright and Brian disclosed to his mother that we are married and have been for the last almost 5 years. He assured her that I had alot of things about my personality that are just like her and that I was taking good care of him. She awoke long enough to give her silent blessing by blinking her eyes. After speaking to me, he asked if I wanted to speak to his father. I didn't but I agreed to for my husbands sake. When his father answered the phone, he asked me what I wanted , like you would if a telemarketer had interrupted your dinner. He was so rude, actually saying that "if you are going to talk alot, I'm just going to hang up the phone". I had to bite my tongue and not say anything except I was sorry about what happened and wished that there was sonething I could do to change things. He asked me to pay money for a shirt that had somehow had gotten ruined and that he had to fix some pants:wtf: I then told him that if he needed anything, to call me. He then asked me if I cold get to Phoenix TONIGHT?!! I told him that it was raining here and I didn't have the means, in addition to some medical problems. He then told with me, with really nasty attitude that that that's wht he's going to tell people who say that they are sorry that his wife died and they would be there to talk, etc. He then very tersely told me that good night and hung up the phone. I know that we're supposed to be understanding and forgiving BUT I grew up with emotional, psychological, physical and sexual abuse and I refuse to allow myself to be taken back to that time by this person. I bit my tongue and stayed pleasant, mostly in honour of my husband and MIL. I'd already told my husband after he called him last weekend and called him everything but a child of God, blaming him for trying to kill her that I would never ever have anything more to do with his father. I only hope that my MIL understands why I want nothing to do with that man and his sister, who incidentally, crazier than the father. My father, Alonzo was VERY abusive emotionally, physically and psychologically to me, his only surviving daughter and my FIL was emotionally and psychologically abusive to my husband and family. They are 8 days apart in birth. ALonzo 1/19/42 and FIL 1/11/40. They are just too much alike to me and I have to let this an go in peace because frankly, if he were to come to my home and start acting up, I'm afraid I would end up in Jail. The most important thing is that I believe that my MIL and my own Mom are sitting and talking right now. I love both my moms and I hope that they are proud of what I am doing to comfort, long and take care of my husband, grandmother and family. I hope to see my MIL soon as I saw my mom last night in the Meeting Place. I ask for prsyers for my husband, his sister and even for that boorish idiot, my FIL. I thank you so much for your input and support:grouphug:

[I Have A Dream]

31. Peace be with you and your family, Ecumenist.

:hug:

(You are right to take care of yourself the way that you're doing. I'm sure that your husband and MIL understand.)

[NMDemDist2]

32. I"m so glad he got to say goodbye to his mom

you are all in my thoughts and prayers

:hug:

[lavenderdiva]

33. Thank you so much Ecumenist, for updating us

even when you are in the midst of such an emotionally draining time. I am so sorry to hear of your MIL's passing, but have every confidence she IS talking and sharing with your Mom. I am also sorry to hear that your FIL is indeed a jerk, and is remaining true to his colors. Ya know, my Mother always said, 'A leopard doesn't change his spots'. I think she was right! It is probably best that you keep your distance and protect yourself. Your instincts are protecting you and sounds true.

Your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers...:hug:

[Why Syzygy]

34. That is a lot to deal with

Glad you have a best friend to stand beside you.

My own dad's 8th passing anniversary is in a couple of days. I still have a hard time with it.
Let her know she is loved and forgiven for everything. That was one of the things that makes me feel good about when dad went. He apologized for making "so many mistakes". I told him he didn't make any.

edit: now I read the entire thread. Sorry for the passing for ya'll. Yes. You have a good attitude about it. They are moving forward. Even if we don't see them again in the same form.