Ya'll put up with so much from me

[Why Syzygy]

I'm throwing out another roommate! He "loves me". UGH. He is seemingly so compliant and quiet. But I cannot take this LOVE STUFF. I'm still in love with someone else, which he 'knows'. I'm over 50 fer gawedess sake. Doesn't this ever let up? I told him this morning he has to move. And he can't play with my cat any more either. I sound so childish. And have noooo idea how I will make my rent without a roommate. But I trust Universe. I do not want someone here who sees me as a 'love' object. Not unless it's the one I love.. I sound like a WHINER. I do so much better when I live alone. Pray for me. I don't want to kick him to the curb, but I will. If he just wouldn't love me. Ugh. I can't stand it. See my conflict. Hear me almost roar.

IOW, I probably screwed myself out of $450 a month. And I don't much care. I was paying too much for the benefit. I'll get rid of him. Don't doubt me. I'm worth more than $450 a month. ugh

[NMDemDist2]

1. perhaps a female roommate next time? n/t

[hippiechick]

2. He LOVES you ??

:wow:

When did THIS happen? :shrug:

Don't get mad but the one thing I've come to accept in the last month is that maybe "that person I want" is never going to want me in return, so we'll probably never get close to the 'love thing'. I am coming to terms with that, starting to let go of my attachment to and investment in him, and lifting my eyes to scout for other possibilities.

Maybe - being a fellow Leo - a simliar lesson is meant for you this year?
We can suffer thru it together! PM me! :hi:

[Why Syzygy]

3. it sux

but I am out of sorts.

It happened weirdly. I love you? og ick.

I love you fellow Leo and the rest that hang out here. We are just these lions going whaaa?
I'm okay with that. Cuz I'm a puddy cat. Duh.

Those people we love will bring us growth. After they drive us NUTS.

Why does love suck?

It is astroloical. We get to be dumb. :D

[Why Syzygy]

18. I really feel very kindly towards him.

I guess any time someone new comes into our life, there are adjustments.

I have started scouting. lol ;)

You deserve someone very precious to worship you. Not to flake. I do too, huh?

If I wanted current rm, it would be a done deal. We are so picky. And chase the ellusive butterfly. I guess.

I'm thinking that the power of intention, LOA, that we have been discussing can work here.
I'm going to start imagining a hunk of burnin love, emphasis on hunk.

Let's bring into our lives someone who will honor us, and thrill. The Universe can deliver.
You think?

[Cleita]

4. I don't think it ever does. I'm sixty six and was asked out

at a meeting of our local democratic club by one of the geezers. He noticed I was no longer coming with my husband. I told him I was a widow and he didn't miss a beat asking me what I did with my time now and if I'd like to go out. My seventy four year old friend was propositioned by the computer guy who was setting her up with a new one.

[Why Syzygy]

5. yeah

it never runs out. My ex-rm's dad is 86 and we never knew who he was bringing to dinner. Qute the gad about.

[bliss_eternal]

6. Hi votes...

I just wanted to I'm sorry that you're going through a tough period. Maybe it's a purging--out with the old and in with the new?
If nothing else, just know that you are beautiful inside and that obviously radiates to those around you. ;) But I totally understand why you wouldn't want that energy around when you don't have reciprocal feelings.

Either way, here's a supportive :hug:

[Why Syzygy]

7. Thank you .

I settled down and think we have a new agreement for now. I really just need to get my finances to a point where I don't need a roommate. I do best living alone. It could be worse. One was outright hostile. He lasted a month. Hostility is definitely not allowed. sheesh

[Why Syzygy]

8. oh eeeeek!

I just threw him out. He hasn't moved out yet. But I cannot deal with his stupidness.
This sounds so trite. I saw him drive up and I got in the shower to rinse out my color. The timer was going off for 15 minutes. I came out and said, can you not turn the timer off? He doesn't know how. It's a stove timer fer crise sakes. Not rocket science. I may have made a mistake. Means I will be interviewing more or possibly moving, which I am in no state to do. But! Jeeminize. He doesn't understand this is community property. Roommates, see? We both have responsibilities. He has been here 8 weeks and I pointed out to him yesterday that the trash needed to go to the curb. This never ocurred to him. That we actually have trash day. I've been other's roomates before and I clean the house and take out the trash if needed. No one had to TELL ME. This guy literally has no thoughts. I've talked to him. Asked him, what do you think. He says, nothing, except I love you. WTF? I have no clue how anyone can claim 'love' when THEY DON"T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING. I'm beyond frustrated. Starting to wish I had married the cowboy.

What is up with this? How can a human being exist on this planet and not have any thoughts? He's a Pisces. But that's no excuse. Is it?

He drains my energy. I can feel it when he sits and touches me. egad.

It is too bad, really. Because I was hoping his steady nature would be a stabilizing factor. But, from the looks of things, evidently not.
I feel conflicted.

[I Have A Dream]

9. Actually, I think that Pisces have some of the most amazing thoughts.

On top of that, they also tend to having amazing psychic abilities.

votes, is it possible that he's afraid of you and that you might get upset if he does anything that you haven't said that it was OK for him to do? Does it seem as though he is walking on eggshells around you? I could see how a stereotypically sensitive Pisces might be intimidated by a strong-willed, fiery Leo like you. (I say "stereotypically" because some of the most strong-willed people that I've ever met have been Pisces, so every sign has all kinds.)

Is it possible that he was afraid that if he turned off the timer that you might get mad, and then when you got mad because he hadn't turned it off, the only thing that he could think of to say was that he didn't know how to turn it off?

(On edit: fixed punctuation.)

[Why Syzygy]

10. Good questions.

I don't know. I've only known one other Piscean (and astrologer's cautions about sun signs rings in my ears). That one turned out to be treacherous.

I'm probably over reacting to everything. I had a friend over and he told me I might think about trying to smooth things over, because for the most part, this is a pain free roommate.

I don't like the fact that he got so attached to me so quickly. He will listen to me ramble as long as I want to. I don't understand it.

It would be amazing if he had some thoughts and shared them. But when I try to draw him into conversation, and ask, what do you think? He always has said, 'nothing'. Yes that would get on my fiery nerves. I was married to someone for 15 years who never had an opinion. It ended up driving me far away. At our last dinner, he said, "do you know what I think"? I said, "no. I would love to know what you think". He said, "never mind". I never knew! I swore that I would always seek people with opinions after that! (And done a good job so far).

I've been buffing up on my listening skills for the past several months. It really transforms personal relationships when you stop to just listen to people. Maybe C. rm is karmic pay back for all the listening I have done recently. Because he does not talk. I can make him laugh, if I'm on stage. Leo thing. But I don't want to be on stage all the time! He did go with us to LOA meeting on Monday. His only comment was he didn't think he fit in. He is non-spiritual. He knows about my stuff, it isn't a secret. But there is absolutely no connection. I should not be looking for perfection in a roommate, or anyone else. There is most likely a lesson here. Tolerance?

It's just frustration. Yes. He walks on eggshells. That gives me the creeps.

edit: One thing that was working for us is his relationship with my kitty. When you search for a roommate, many seem to have "cat allergies". He adores having Boogie sit with him and doing sweet things for Boogie. He enjoys being almost co-owner of a cat. That is a huge plus. I'm confused. Just trying to sort things out. Thank you for adding your thoughts.

[I Have A Dream]

11. Isn't he the roommate who knew so much about astronomy?

If so, maybe he'd talk about that. You sounded interested in what he was saying about it when you posted about going outside with him to view the sky.

votes, someone asked this question previously.... have you ever tried having a female roommate? That has problems also, but maybe it woule work better if the men keep falling for you. Of course, a woman could fall for you also, but the chance of that is lower.

Here's my take also, which may be totally off base. If so, please forgive me. As a Leo, you're really flattered to have him fall in love with you. (I think that most Leo's subconsciously want everyone to fall in love with them.) However, now that he loves you, you see the problems with having a roommate who is in love with you.

I personally think that one of Leo's life lessons is learning to not always consider the Universe to be revolving around them. (Of course, Leos have absolutely wonderful traits also, but every sign has life lessons.) He sounds like a nice guy, but he doesn't sound like the perfect man for you. So what! He's just your roommate. I think that the conflict is that you like the fact that you won him but now what do you do now that you have him since he doesn't sound as though he's right for you romantically. Is there any chance that this is true? If so, why not just let it be what it is. See if you can sit down and ask if he's able to allow you to have your outbursts, which lots of Leos have to be free to have, or whether every time you have an outburst it's going to make him even more afraid of you.

I work with a Leo that I really respect, and she respects me. However, she has no control over her emotions, and when she gets upset, she becomes a loose cannon. (I'm certainly not the only person who she's blasted in the past, so it's not just an issue between us.) I always feel as though I'm walking on eggshells around her because I have to have a working relationship with her, so I can't really let it all out with her in terms of fighting with her. (Although we've had no holds barred battles in the past.) However, when she's upset, she's totally out of control and she takes no hostages.

Bottom line: so what if he's fallen for you? Is he getting possessive or bossy around you because of it? Is he asking that the two of you have a relationship? If not, then why not just bask in his love, which I think would make a Leo happy to have around. He's not perfect, but you don't want a romantic relationship with hiim anyway, do you?

[Why Syzygy]

12. What is your sun sign?

I thought you were among the Leo brigade on the forum? Airies? See. Air feeds fire.
I am so sorry for the astrologers who downgrade sun signs.

What you say holds a lot of wisdom. I've already placed a new ad for a new roommate. I want him gone.

I'm a bit of an unusual Leo in that I really don't like to draw attention to myself. I think there are others like me. I DO NOT need the additional attention.

You are exactly correct about the outbursts. We do seem to have some solar flares. He has been patient and kind with a couple of priors. But I don't want to ask him again. Damn Leo pride.

Of course he isn't the perfect man for me! That wasn't the object lesson. I have no idea why he moved in here and fell in love with me and just wants to be 'here' with me and Boogie. I don't know. I want to swear I did not attract this. But then I have to reconcile with LOA.

It could be a bunch worse. Agreed. He could be mean. For some reason I am rebelling against love and kindness. Life lesson. ? I'll be glad when it is over.

I had one previous female roommate. She and I had been tight friends for 7 years. But a MAN intervened and blew the whole thing out of the water. Oh and then last year, I thought I was going to have a female roomate. But my ex-neighbor showed up with a DICK, and blew the whole thing out of the water. Women are fickle. They pretty much want what's in the pocket. That's my experience anyway.

edit: This has happened so often. That I can get people back together. Maybe I should put that on craigslist. Find the man of your dreams. Just come hang with me for a couple of minutes.

The lost roommate from last year, last I heard, is still enjoying her man. Who rode in on my back. That is me. I'm a freaking UNITER! The sad thing is, she is almost 60 and her myspace claims her age as 39. Makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I'm going to try some meditation today and see if I am ready to allow someone into my life again. They can be great PAINS. I really need to chill on this.

[I Have A Dream]

14. I'm a Capricorn with a Scorpio ascendant and a Scorpio moon. I don't...

think that I have any air at all in my astrological chart; at least not from the major things that are shown in a chart. I also have very little fire; I'm all earth and water. The problem that my Leo co-worker and I have is that I'm not someone who easily handles being cannon fodder. (Most people are able to just allow it to roll over them.) However, I'm working to be able to better control my temper so that I don't get pulled in when these outbursts occur. She really is a good person; in fact, she and I have had conversations (in the ladies room!) about the fact that we're probably in each others' lives to teach each other something. However, conversations like this won't stop our clashes from happening again. I can only work on better dealing with my half of the situation. I want to learn what I'm supposed to learn from her so that I don't have to do it with her again. (I still want to incarnate with her again because she's a good person, but I don't want to have the drama involved in our current incarnation carry over into future incarnations.)

I hope that you can find peace soon, votes. I also hope that your roommate finds a roommate who will value him since he sounds like a nice enough guy.

:hug:

[Why Syzygy]

17. He is showing amazing patience.

So I am beginning to value him. Your prayer is answered.

My closest friend, for 20 years, is a Capricorn. She is the most steady person I have ever known.
She is opposed to astrology, so I've never done her full chart.
We do suspect, though, that we are distant cousins. Part of our families originated in a small part of Texas, and we recognize family names, etc. Never did the geneology search. It's just something we have assumed for almost 20 years.

I don't know if it is a Leo trait to treat people as cannon fodder. I hope not. I do know we tend to get a bit over excited about issues. It sounds really neat that you can talk to her and even want to have her in future lives. My experience as Leo sun and rising is that I'm INTENSE. It does seem to intimidate people, but I don't mean it that way. When I start to roar, I don't want to see a bunch of mice scamper away. Quite the contrary. I want to see people stand up and talk back. So, I believe it is very good that you do confront her. My suspicion is, that is what she really wants and needs.

I tend to be so intense, that I have to spread it out. People who know me understand that I have some drive, which I cannot explain. They can only take so much heat/intensity before they have to get out of the kitchen. May be giving a wrong impression of myself. Actually, I am always the calm one. Emergency arises? I handle it. Everyone else is going nuts. I take the action needed to resolve the situation. It's always been that way. My guess is Leos are problem solvers. And we only get upset when other people don't see the problem or don't do anything about it.

Is anything like that going on in your workplace? Is she your boss? Leos really hate to be boss, contrary to all teaching. We only want to boss in general directions. No micromanagement for us.

Of course, do what you want with your temper. But from my inside view, it is important, in all cases, to draw a line. It sounds like you are doing that.

I enjoy your posts so much. Thank you.

ps on the Leo angle. My first husband, a gazillion years ago, is also Leo. I rented in his home for a couple of years after 911. He had a rule. I could not date. We've been divorced since 1980, and he has been married two times since then, so that seemed rather silly. He didn't know I dated. Not even adult status, I guess. But oh well. I've probably told this before, and will tell again. He went to the grocery at about the same time I did. I got the kind of bread he liked and he got the kind I liked. So we both had what we wanted. Gift of the Magi kind of thing. Even though I was going to school, he didn't think my life was headed anywhere. I didn't fit his mold. He watches stock reports all day and won't touch a computer. Obviously out of sync. Every once in awhile, I guess, he thought it would be a good idea to get in a shouting match. I never understood what these were about, other than he wasn't happy with my choices. I would shout with him for a few minutes, and then it was over. Nothing was resolved because there was no actual agenda on what we needed to resolve. It was just his way. And I was more than prepared to match him. I've known him for 30 something years, since I was 19. I'm the mother of one of his beloved children. He thinks he can come up and shout me down? Oh my.

Be strong.

[emcguffie]

15. Mmmmm, your reaction is causing me to wonder just a little bit

-- what is going on.

Not that I'm suggesting you really LIKE him in any way. I'm not. But when people do plug you in that much, there is something there for you to derive some kind of benefit from, usually.

And men sometimes don't think of those things, because they never had to before. A lot of them are like that, as amazing as it is.

You have to set the rules out and make agreements, and find ways of reminding without berating.

And of course if he has fallen in love he is pining away, thus not thinking about practical things.

Maybe you could try just a little bit of understanding and sympathy? Poor thing. Imagine, falling in love with your roommate! And having them react like ICK! Poor little Pisces, all aching inside.

Can you put up both of your charts? Maybe you did that and I missed it. I haven't been around for a while.

There's something going on there.

[Why Syzygy]

16. Yes Really most of the time

I am very kind to him. Which may explain his feelings. We give little hugs and I do try to draw him out. He is a 53 y/o bachelor and never actually had a long term relationship. Which I find odd, but there are all types. It is no doubt his lack of experience combined with having friendly Leo me around that has contributed.

He's going to look up his birthtime and I'll run his chart. Karmic-wise, my ex-bf used to say someone needed to 'take him by the hand' to lead him in the right direction, even in reference to spiritual things. That bothered me. There are people who will tell you exactly what to believe and do, but that isn't spiritual growth, imo. Fortunately he has now realized that the answers are within himself, and I see him being much happier. However, I now find the same thing in rm. He wants to be told what to do. Initially, I found that quite irritating. But, he actually took some initiative last night after I explained a couple of things to him.

So, we are on peaceful grounds again. I would like to take a look at his chart. Thank you.

[Why Syzygy]

13. What I am thinking

after dealing with him again this morning.. is he is blocked energy. He has all these boxes housed in the garage which have not been opened since goddess knows when.

I can make this call because I had three year old boxes that has so much blocked chi that I could not breathe! So now his stuff is sitting in my garage and he doesn't care to open it. I can't take it. I do not know why becoming more intuit makes one less tolerant.

It feels like they are suffocating me.

[Why Syzygy]

19. Here's the chart ifno

for CH(male)
born on 1 March 1953 local time 6:45 pm
in Norfolk, VA (US) U.T. 23:45
76w17, 36n51 sid. time 05:17:47

PLANETARY POSITIONSplanet sign degree
Sun Pisces 11°06'21 in house 6
Moon Virgo 24°05'35 in house 1
Mercury Pisces 29°12'23 in house 7
Venus Aries 23°42'58 in house 8
Mars Aries 16°29'51 end of house 7
Jupiter Taurus 15°49'39 end of house 8
Saturn Libra 26°46'00 in house 2
Uranus Cancer 14°37'42 in house 10
Neptune Libra 23°32'22 in house 2
Pluto Leo 21°36'04 in house 11
True Node Aquarius 12°11'38 in house 5
Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.

HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)Ascendant Virgo 21°19'15
2nd House Libra 17°22'19
3rd House Scorpio 17°28'46
Imum Coeli Sagittarius 20°17'54
5th House Capricorn 23°18'04
6th House Aquarius 24°02'48
Descendant Pisces 21°19'15
8th House Aries 17°22'19
9th House Taurus 17°28'46
Medium Coeli Gemini 20°17'54
11th House Cancer 23°18'04
12th House Leo 24°02'48

CH(female) ... we have the same initials
born on 4 Aug 1954 local time 5:45 am
in Breckenridge, TX (US) U.T. 11:45
98w54, 32n45 sid. time 01:59:26

PLANETARY POSITIONSplanet sign degree
Sun Leo 11°33'27 in house 1
Moon Libra 16°25'13 in house 3
Mercury Cancer 24°37'40 in house 12
Venus Virgo 25°00'51 in house 2
Mars Sagittarius 25°49'52 in house 5
Jupiter Cancer 16°07'14 in house 12
Saturn Scorpio 3°18'57 in house 4
Uranus Cancer 24°30'31 in house 12
Neptune Libra 23°31'40 in house 3
Pluto Leo 24°14'50 in house 1
True Node Capricorn 14°25'40 in house 6

HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)Ascendant Leo 9°24'41
2nd House Virgo 2°29'26
3rd House Virgo 29°51'29
Imum Coeli Scorpio 2°02'04
5th House Sagittarius 6°34'54
6th House Capricorn 9°37'27
Descendant Aquarius 9°24'41
8th House Pisces 2°29'26
9th House Pisces 29°51'29
Medium Coeli Taurus 2°02'04
11th House Gemini 6°34'54
12th House Cancer 9°37'27


Does this mean anything?
edit: after reading Dream's thread, it must be his true node in Aquarius!
I have no idea why my lessons are coming from that aspect.

[I Have A Dream]

20. My book says the following about your North Node in Capricorn....

Attributes to Develop

Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents:

• Self-control
  
• Approaching life from an adult position
  
• Self-respect
  
• Staying goal oriented
  
• Sensible approaches to problem solving
  
• Keeping commitments and promises
  
• Letting go of the past
  
• Self-care
  
• Accepting responsibility for success

Tendencies to Leave Behind

Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable:

• Dependence
  
• Moodiness
  
• Insecurity leading to inaction
  
• Limiting self through fear
  
• Using the past to avoid the present
  
• Isolation -- spending too much time at home
  
• Lack of self-respect
  
• Avoidance of personal risk
  
• Controlling others through emotional overreactions

Here's the information for the North Node in Aquarius...

Attributes to Develop

Work in these areas can help uncover hidden gifts and talents:

• Objectivity (seeing the "total picture")
  
• Desire for friendship
  
• Making decisions for the group's best interest
  
• Willingness to share unconventional ideas
  
• Willingness to champion humanitarian causes
  
• Active participation in groups
  
• Awareness of equality
  
• Relating to others as individuals, apart from their specific roles (gardener, doctor, lover, etc.)
  
• Creating win/win situations
  
• Recognizing how others are special

Tendencies to Leave Behind

Working to reduce the influence of these tendencies can help make life easier and more enjoyable:

• Insistence on getting one's way
  
• Making changes just to exercise authority
  
• Attachment to taking risks (romance or gambling)
  
• Willfulness and stubbornness
  
• Attachment to the need for approval
  
• Melodramatic tendencies
  
• Doing what's expected instead of following one's heart
  
• Unbridled passion -- going to extremes
  
• Unawareness of others' importance
  
• Prideful responses based on fear

There's much, much more for both in the book. ("Astrology of the Soul" by Jan Spiller.)

[Why Syzygy]

21. I so did not want

a north node in Capricorn. But we don't get to choose, eh?

Great work. I appreciate it. Still mulling it over.

It is great that you are reading that book and can bring it to us.

*Approaching life from an adult position.

I have been finding that the more I get in touch with little VSM, the more satisfaction I enjoy.
It gives me trust. Was discussing this last night. I miss the level of trust I had with the Higher, like when I was a child.

This adult stuff, I think is contraindicated, on our soul search.
The more I get in touch with who I was as a child, it seems that I get closer to experiencing Joy, wonderment. I grew up fairly quickly. Was given a lot of "responsibility". So now, as I'm learning Abraham and other things, I can give up all that pressure.

I swear it is like reverse osmosis. Teach me to be REsponsible, then tell me I am not?

It's working out for me, so far. I love giving up responsibility. I was on a job site years ago and the fax machine was obviously out of control. I felt good that I could walk on by. Not my problem. Normally I would have been right in there trying to notify someone and fix THEIR fucking fax.

I don't know how I can surrender and be responsible for everyone else's fax at the same time.

edit: thank you so much for putting in that information. You are a Dream come True.
And I like the way you think, love, believe.

[I Have A Dream]

23. Thank you for your kind words, votes. I just saw this.

:hug:

[Why Syzygy]

22. ACK!

This guy is going to spoil me rotten. That is most likely not in my best interest. Is it?

I'm the one with the BAD BOYS! I have proof.

I got an email a few weeks ago from my mother. She said she wanted to stop fighting.
I never wanted to fight in the first place, but if your mom comes at you fighting, what will you do?

So sense that time, she and I don't fight. It is a miracle. It has taken all the winds out of my sails. I don't want to argue or 'fight' with anyone.

This is a Blessing. I always thought I wanted her to say she was sorry.
She didn't have to. She just had to say, I don't want to fight any more.

Wow!

[I Have A Dream]

24. I'm so happy that this is having such a healing effect on your life, votes.

One never knows what will be tonic to our soul.

:)