|
I think what everything is telling me is the move I am about to make, is one which is long overdue. Mum and I have never been happy where we are currently living. There is one neighbor in particular who makes everyones lives miserable. And as soon as mum and I saw that, we realized this wouldn't be the place for us. But we had no other choice.
Just before Christmas last year mum and I both lost our jobs on the same day. That day we decided to head to my sisters place a little earlier than planned. On the way down, I talked to mum and asked her if she would be willing to move to be closer to my sister.
I need a support network around me. The pressure of being in a binational relationship was really taking its toll on my. Last year was the first year Sapphocrat and I faced where we had not seen each other at all. I know in my heart that if I had my sister around, I would be ok, and I would be able to remain strong for Sapphocrat, who herself was going through a pretty rough time.
So mum and I talked about it.m She would like to be closer to my sister (her eldest daughter) and her grandchildren. So I figured mum and I would talk more about it when we got back to Melbourne after the New Year.
Mum ended up telling my sister that I am wanting to move to Metung to be closer to her. And my sister was more than pleased. She came and talked to me and said that we are more than welcome to stay with her until we got back on our feet and able to get a place of our own. That opened the door for us to make the move.
Last weekend I went down to my sisters again. By this stage I already knew that Sapphocrat had ended our relationship. I hadn't read her email as yet, but my heart told me (Sapph and I have always had a connection like that, and do know when the other is in real pain) but I decided not to tell my family, because it was a special weekend for my brother in law, and I didn't want to ruin that for him.
Anyway, while down there a friend of my sisters told my sister (because I am on unemployment benefits I am restricted in where I can and can't live) that if I was to find out what the current unemployment rate was for my area, and then what it is for her area, if there isn't a huge difference I should be able to make the move without being penalized and losing my payments as a result.
So last Thursday I went and saw the department who pays the benefits, and was told that because I am moving to be closer to family, I can do it and not be penalized for doing it. That all I would need to do is call a phone number and begin the process, which is basically confirming that I do indeed have family there.
But everything changed again when I received a registered letter and opened it, and found that I have only until the 17th of March to vacate where I am living. This has really brought everything forward.
So I believe everything that is being said here about my chart is about all that. My making the move to better my life. Now don't get me wrong here either. I believe with every ounce of my being that Sapphocrat and I will work through the troubled time we are having right now and that things with us will get back on track. I am not in denial about that. Although many would like to say I am. But those people really don't know Sapph and I in person. They have never seen how we interact with one another. I tend to listen to the people who have been around us, and no exactly how we interact with one another, and they are all telling me the same thing, "we belong together."
So not for a moment do I believe that anything is telling me that I am seeking a new beginning from her. This thing between us has happened right at the wrong time. When everything else was happening.
I was told from a psychic many years ago that I would meet a American woman, and this woman would be the greatest love of my life. She would also be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. She described the woman to me in great detail, and what she described is Sapph to a T. The moment I met Sapph I realized just how right that psychic had been. And she gave me all that, when I was actually looking for answers as to why one of my sisters twins had died during the process of child birth.
As for spiritual development. Sapph and I have talked about this a lot, because she knows I am looking for this in my life, and she was/is willing to help me discover that. The next trip she made over I had planned on taking her to the ashram in Melbourne. Something she had been wanting to do each trip over, but I had been fighting. But as I get older I realize I need this in my life, and I wanted to see if this would suit me.
I grew up in a Christian household, but found that Christianity really didn't suit me, at a very young age. If the church someone belongs to is even remotely right leaning, then the religion they teach is just too negative for me. I am normally a very positive person, just with everything going so flippy floppy in my life since about the middle of last year, I have found that I have lost that part of me. I am now starting to get that spirit back in me. (Hence why I won't give up on Sapphocrat.)
As for being free spirited, I guess I have always been that way. The trouble with me is, I want to share that free spirit with someone, so I can't say I am totally free, ya know?
Anyway, thanks again for this. I think I am right about what it all means, in relation to what is actually happening in my life right now. And this thread really has giving me a new lease on life.
Thank you, and thank you to everyone for the encouragement and support, from the bottom of my heart. :)
|