Ok, well ...

[hippiechick]

Spirit has seen fit to toss a few obstacles in my path, just when I had decided to give my notice at my present job in Indy and relocate back to WI when my lease is up in May.

Out of nowhere, 2 different headhunters with 2 different opportunities.
Out of nowhere, one of the real estate agents at my part time job wants to show me houses, and the mortgage guy seems fairly certain he can get me qualified.

I pause with my relocation plans to investigate these opportunities.

One interviewer never called back (after 3 interviews!); the other turned out not to be quite as lucrative on paper as it was over the phone.

So I started to think, maybe with an attitude adjustment and a house of my own, I could learn to like where I work again & just glide into a settled middle-age: no more running, no more starting over. Time to grow up and accept that this is my life?

Over my lunch hour, I drive past the house I'm supposed to see this evening and it's a DUMP.:scared: When I get back to the office, I have an email from the mortgage guy telling me that the underwriter is 'very concerned' about a couple things on my credit report and can I provide X,Y and Z documentation?? Uh, no, I can't. It is what it is.

So I thanked him for his time and effort, and cancelled the appointment to see the dump.

As of now, I'm back where I was exactly 2 weeks ago this very minute - planning to leave this job at the end of April and leave Indiana shortly thereafter. Guess I'm gonna cut n' run after all.

But I have to ask: what was the purpose of this whole little detour, or was it just Merc Rx playing games with me?


ARGH. :spank:


/rant

[gblady]

1. wondering.....

did the experience add any clarity on what you desire?
....during the experiences, what were you feeling?
I usually find that these side adventures, or so they seem at the time
actually contain a lot of valuable information to glean.
Cheryl

[hippiechick]

3. No clarity yet ...

... What was I feeling, over the past 2 weeks ? Confused, ambivalent about all of my options, sick to my stomach, on the verge of tears ...

... What am I feeling now ? Same thing. :(

In the past when things like this have happened, they have provided me clarity in a very short span of time - one way or the other. This time around, everything seems to be stuck on a teeter-totter.


:hi:

[lildreamer316]

2. My take is that..

for some reason (to be named later, as usual); you were supposed to wait this amount of time before moving foreward, as well as possibly learn something during said 'wasted' time. The universe had to delay your moving so something else could go in place. Dunno what that could be, but that's probably what's up.
Just MHO.

[hippiechick]

4. Yep, I'm sure that's right ... but I can't see

... the forest for the trees - yet - and it's fast becoming time for me to make a decision, on my apartment lease at least.


:shrug:

[BluePatriot]

5. Seems like it's validating your choice to leave!

Sort of a "you COULD stay here...but...this is the rut you will stay in. Get up and GO!" kind of message.

[hippiechick]

6. y'think?

.. a not-so-subtle "summary of life in Indiana" to remind me ? :)

[Why Syzygy]

7. Lol ..

I remember your story of when you went there... just not all the details.
Tell us about that. Did you have a friend or someone there? Throw a dart at an Atlas? How did you get to Indy?

I heard or read something recently about Madison and immediately thought of you. It was something about being homey, and a lot of snow and beauty. Sorry I can't remember the context.

You know I'm pretty much a newbie in Austin. Right at two years minus the 6-month Beaumont fiasco.
Some have mentioned the word "gypsie" in my earshot. I've been at the same address for almost a year, which beats any close rival since 2004. Entitled to settle down, even if it is less than what I imagine 'Ideal'. It's my place. What do you feel in your place?

Reading Lil'D's homestead fantasy wish, I picked up on the words she used to describe the real experience. It did not have to do especially with architectural features, though I believe those are way important for us. It had more to do with Feeling.

I moved to Austin because I love how I feel here. I meant to get around to Dreams' thread about living environments .. Something about the limestone formations perhaps, or the breath taking hills. The people who dropped in from another planet and just LOVE being in Austin is a big draw. We all love it here. There is room enough for us all.

But there have been a few times I wanted to pick up and get myself back to Dallas.
In Austin, I keep asking questions and getting new information .. which is good.
Dallas has a 'security' . even though there are parts that disturb me a great deal.
One minor is I know how to get a date in Dallas. Austin men illude me. Nothing happenin'.
That could be an important feature to a single woman.

Questions that come to my mind, do you need to home again in Madison? Is there something there that is paramount to feeling good about yourself and continuing your path? I'm convinced Austin is mine, even though, sometimes it has needed a wrench to find where do I belong in this place. Most recently I have been trying to hang on to the Masters voices that say, the easy way. Make it feel easy.

And that's what we would all appreciate. Therefore, your conundrum. It feels hard? Challenged?
Confused.

This is something I've been trying on my day to day, which is not that monumental in the scheme of universal time, you know .. Just see what feels "easy" for you. You have been presented the challenges. None of them feel easy. Certainly removing yourself from your job has been easy with benefits! After you simmered and were affronted daily?

Bottom line. Which feel smoothest and easiest for you? That doesn't mean that when you go to Madison, everything is going to fall right into place, though it might.

I don't think I'm doing a very good job of describing this.
You do know that we will all be here for you, whever you are.
Now live HippieChick ;D