Winter's rest

[Dover]

Winter is a good time for sleeping.
Long dark hours beckon it.
My body is disinclined to rise before the sun
In the cold it grows weary early.
Quiet is essential for renewal,
Rest is my benison now.
Peace comes with slowing down.
Like the trees I wait
Breathing Being in the Winter's cold.

Tasha Halpert, Soul Flares Reader


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Remember St. Aloysius, who said he would continue to play billiards even if he knew he was going to die. Do you play well? Sleep well? Eat well? These are duties. Nothing is small for God.

- Mother Teresa


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Dear Fellow Travelers,


A few times a year during grade school my need to just lay on the couch and receive undiluted attention from my mom outweighed my love of school. On cue, I could fake a deep, barking cough. It did the trick every time.

My mom worked nearby, able to come home for a 15-minute break and lunch. I can still see her walking into the TV room, sitting beside me on the couch and gently putting her cool hand on my forehead asking, “How are you feeling?” Before she left, she would tuck the blanket under my chin, kiss my cheek, and leave me to enjoy rest and the big space of quiet and of solitude.

In this way I was wiser as a child than I am now. I did not feel badly about faking illness to get those few self-renewing days off a year. I did not feel uncomfortable or selfish receiving such care from my mom. But at some point during this past decade, I stopped believing it was ok to put myself before a deadline or the needs of others. I chose self-sacrifice over self-care not only because it was appreciated more, but because it allowed me to feel important and indispensable--the hero of the day.

But as I ignored the calls for real rest and self-care, my body continued to communicate to me in its own way: strained retina, tendonitis, hives, pneumonia. And I would respond with grumbling complaints and a few hours off here and there. But what it wanted me to lay down, more than the weight of my own body onto a soft couch, was the weight of the learned belief that if I put myself first, if I rest and relax, if I stop pushing relentlessly hard to serve, I will fail. I will lose everything and everyone I have worked for.

The great irony and the most wonderful teacher was losing everything anyway! Ha! Ha! What more powerful way to learn that happiness does not come from outward striving? As Anne Hillman quoted to me from Ecclesiastes 4:6:

Better is one hand full of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.

My recent bulging or ruptured disc was an injury painful enough to finally and firmly propel me to a place where taking care of myself is essential to a life of service. Just as the pain of depression this past year created in me the resolve to never take my mental health for granted again, the pain of this back injury has led me to a similar resolve and this declaration: If I want people to enjoy and find inspiration in the light that shines from my soul than I must tend to the temple that holds it.

Blessings and love to you
Annie O’Shaughnessy

P.S. Thank you for all the thoughtful messages wishing me well. I am on the mend


http://www.soulflares.org/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=63

[I Have A Dream]

1. Wow, Dover! The pictures here really touch my soul.

I've never been a person who much liked Winter, mostly because of the bad weather that complicates day-to-day aspects of life. However, I'm finally starting to appreciate the opportunity to pull into myself to build up the reserves needed for the more action-oriented parts of the year. If I didn't have to face the difficulties that accompany snow, I might actually find that I enjoy this time of the year.

I'm really someone who doesn't much enjoy going outside my home to do things anyway. (This is probably due to having my Mars in Cancer, which I suspect is why much of the "action" that I take is via the Internet from my chair in my living room.) When the weather is nice during the milder seasons, I often feel guilty when I don't manage to make myself get out and "do". In the Winter, I don't have this same feeling of letting life pass me by when I hibernate.

This thread has made me realize this. Thank you for this gift.

[Dover]

2. That is beautiful Dream! To everything there is a season...turn turn turn.

I too have had to learn to both recognize and give myself permission to follow my own bodily rhythms and promptings.
And magically by doing that I have felt a much deeper connection to nature's own pulse (whether I'm out in nature or not!) I relish and indulge these promptings much more, just like that parent caring for her sick child as described above. If the soft young Spring grass beckons to me to stand barefoot upon it I accept the invitation!!

It's just crazy how out of this natural rhythm our society has gotten!

And yes I'll bet your Mars in Cancer is often at odds with the dutiful work ethic and judgements of your Cap. Sun.

Those pictures and text (most of which is from that lovely, inspirational website I linked to) really penetrated my soul as well. That deep peace and wholeness that pervades when the heart is truly at rest and we are at home within and without.
I tried a few other pictures before discovering them and luckily had time to edit them in.
(I'll have to use the photo of the snow monkey enjoying the mountain thermal pools another day...lol!)

[I Have A Dream]

3. "...snow monkey enjoying the mountain thermal pools"...

I look forward to that thread! :D

(On edit: Just speaking for myself, it's really amazing how I can feel all of the different energies in my natal chart -- my Neptune in Scorpio almost exactly on my Ascendant and conjunct my Moon; my Venus in Pisces; my Capricorn Sun in a stellium with Saturn, Jupiter & Mercury; my grand water trine with kite, etc. They're all in there making their presence known and making sure that their "voice" is heard. Luckily, I have very few hard aspects in my natal chart. I can only imagine what it's like with more of those duking it out. :scared:)

[stellanoir]

9. and she says she's not psychic

with that Neptune angular and all.

". . . methinks she doth protest too much. . . "

LOL

Kidding of course.

[Dover]

10. Watery depths of Neptune and tidal Moon combined....indeed!

I wondered if, with all that earth and water, she'd ever played with clay as a medium.
Seems it would be an alchemical blend. AND it could be done INdoors...lol!

Or perhaps a builder of sandcastles near the ocean's edge. Kind of like the Tibetan monks' sand paintings that eventually find their way back to the sea or river.

[stellanoir]

12. That reminds me of two things

First about the story of a little kid who scrambled onto a mandala made by Buddhist monks.

They took weeks to make it,
'
They just smiled at the spirited kid. They are so cool.

Secondly, It reminds me of my cousin who opted out of an architecture program at the University of Cincinnati.

He went on to win sandcastle contests repeatedly in Hawaii.

Too funny really.

[I Have A Dream]

14. ...but but but... could I do it from my living room chair?!!!

Actually, in a reading that I got, I was told that I should play in the mud. I can't think of something that is more not me. I'd have to wear gloves, which I bet kind of defeats the purpose of doing it.

I am a bit drawn to clay; however, I have no artistic ability, and I have a difficult time getting past self-judgment of my creative efforts, even though I know that the end product is only a part of what is gotten out of a creative endeavor.

In reference to sandcastles, I can't stand the feeling of sand. Again, gloves would be a must. :(

(All are good ideas though. Thank you for them!)

[I Have A Dream]

13. That's why it's so irritating to me. I have lots of things in my chart...

that say that I should be much more intuitive than I am. However, I'm trying to accept the role that the Universe has given to me. It just uses the energy differently than how I'd prefer to use it.

Acceptance and trusting that the Universe knows what is best are lessons that I'm trying to learn.

:hug:

[NJCher]

4. winter's rest

I liked that first poem. It more than resonates: it speaks for me!

My mom and I are both gardeners but we find that in the winter we just want to sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Your second sentence, IHAD, put that nicely into perspective for me.

I, too, love the warmth and coziness of my house and find it difficult to go outdoors. I love my gardens and crave working on them but I have to force myself to get out there for 30" a day in the winter. I do whatever--rake, cut off weather-beaten vines, chop leaves, etc. What keeps me going is the small accomplishments add up, so there is visual positive feedback. I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to see my raised beds covered with a neat mulch of shredded leaves, all ready for planting in the spring.

I have three cats and I just love it when my husband and I are in a room together and the three come join us. They sit on chairs around the table or sometimes they each take a radiator and sprawl out, soaking up the heat.

Oh and that's another thing I like about winter: radiators! They're the best--from the eccentric sounds (whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!) and sometimes cranky (clank, ding) they make to the delightful warmth that envelopes one upon walking in the door from the cold.

Anyway, Dover, thank you for that. It was soul-soothing and gave some much-needed perspective.



Cher

[I Have A Dream]

5. I love radiators too, Cher. I grew up with them, and I've never gotten used...

to forced-air heat. There's no warmth that compares to the warmth of radiators, for me.

You've made me nostalgic, Cher. Growing up, we lived directly over the little diner where my mother worked. She'd start work at 5am, and I'd go down before school to help her between 6am-7am and then would go off to school once another employee came in at 7am. (She'd cook, and I'd wait on tables). She'd wake me in the morning by banging on the radiator pipes. Things were so much different back then! :)

[Dover]

8. "soul soothing". Yep, that sums up my response also.

That website has some wonderful art and writing.

And add me to the list of radiator lovers. I haven't thought about them in years (I also grew up with them), but your description brought it all flooding back. I loved to sit up against them and fall asleep on the rug near them....sigh. And being surrounded by my animals with some logs on the fire, a good book and a cup of tea is just heaven on a Fall or Winter's day.

I emailed this poem to a friend and she also resonated with it. She said this past week (a cold rainy week) she got home from a computer class and went directly to her bed and crawled under the covers, still in her jeans, layers of clothing, and thick socks and fell into a deep deep sleep.
Been there, done that. It's wonderful!

[stellanoir]

6. This thread was especially nice to read

on a sleepy snowy Sunday.

Thanks Dover.

Your posts are always so-o-o heartwarming and uplifting.

I used to take a day off as a kid for my mental well being. I've given my kid the same luxury as long as he was on the honor role which he took advantage of in elementary school so he never had to lie to me about his health.

Last year he had his first year of perfect attendance in 10th grade.

He didn't want to skip a minute.

I think that's kinda cool.

Please excuse any extraneous maternally biased pride.

Thanks.

[Why Syzygy]

7. My child

was a perfect attender too. In 4th grade, he was so sick the last day of school, but he went anyway.
I think it's great they have that ambition.

[Dover]

11. maternal pride is never extraneous...lol!

And I'll bet he's pretty proud of you as well.

[latebloomer]

15. Thanks, I needed this!

I can't help but wonder whether my relentless busy-ness contributed to my illness. I worked like crazy, came home and never stopped doing until late at night, when I'd snatch a precious half hour with a novel.

Right now it is so pleasant having very little to do-- I have no choice but to rest and renew. When I do go back to work it will be gradual, and everyone in the family will have to continue to take a larger role in the housework

Something that has greatly helped is beginning to practice mindfulness meditation, and reading some books about it--Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron.

[Grateful for Hope]

16. Bless you, latebloomer. n/t

[Dover]

17. Hey latebloomer...sorry, just saw this post.

Whatever contributed to your illness, it sounds like you are much more in tune with your bodily and spiritual needs now and responding accordingly. As I posted in my response to Dream, it took me some time to begin to really listen to my body and inner needs, but once I did I felt so much more in synch and happy.

When you are contemplating/visualizing or listening to your feeligs surrounding a return to your job, what does that energy feel like? Does it rise in anticipation or does it feel more like a drain on your energy or how do you experience that....?

That tuning in is very helpful for making decisions too. Does that invitation from a friend to do _____, fill me with anticipation or make me want to hide under the bed? From that honest place I can make better decisions - If I'm not looking forward to it, why is that so? And what could I do to make that experience a better one, or should I skip it altogether because what I'm really needing is some alone time?

Checking in with myself (my inner guide) regularly about things, small or large, keeps the communication with my inner life in good working order like exercising a muscle, while also keeping me honest with myself and healthy too. And then whatever I decide to do, at least I'm fully aware and honest in doing it, and can make any adjustments accordingly.