Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

When there's nothing you can do: dealing with not be able to help.

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Religion & Spirituality » Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group Donate to DU
 
BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 09:52 AM
Original message
When there's nothing you can do: dealing with not be able to help.
Edited on Fri Dec-12-08 09:58 AM by BlueIris
In my case, there are two people in my life whom I've intuited are going to have a very rough 2009. One is an acquaintance who sort of blew me off early last year, whom I don't feel I can reach out to about what I'm getting. The other is my sister, for whom I've already done everything I'm able to (sent self-help books, homeopathy, found a Reiki healer for, etc.). I feel there's nothing left for me to do for either of these folks, save ask the Universe that positive energy be sent to them and hope for the best.

Have you ever been in a position where you could see, psychically or otherwise, a train heading for someone, but knew there was nothing you could do or say to get her off the tracks? How did you deal with the feelings of helplessness?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
mysticalchick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
1. I understand so much of what you are saying ...
Edited on Fri Dec-12-08 10:35 AM by mysticalchick
... and what I've learned is to allow those individuals the space to learn their lessons. And to be there to offer light, love, advice, a hug ... whatever you are called to offer. And trust that all will happen as it is meant to.

Sending YOU a big hug ...
MC
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. If the helplessness over others fate and behaviour becomes unmanageable
there of course is a gentle 12-step program called al-anon...I hope that you are simply able to stay in joy regardless of what happens to the world or to those you know.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Celebration Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
3. I have a big issue with that
I just love to "fix" things. Some people just don't want to be fixed, can't be fixed, and have no patience with fixers. I just learn to let it go. I especially like to "fix" my children. You can imagine how well that goes over.

It doesn't matter what the issue. In the thread about forgiving, I mentioned that I had to apologize for something decades ago when I knew that my friend's marriage would be one of those train wrecks. Since I am a fixer, and I could NOT fix and had the sense to realize it, I just withdrew instead. But the mature and loving thing to do would have been to be supportive despite the impending disaster. Oh, man, it was impossible to be happy for her.

I think my family and I have learned a lot in the process of my wanting to fix things. They learn to let me go on and on about fixing, I let them refuse any help, etc. It's all about everyone being different from each other and everyone learning to be tolerant of differences.

The important thing is just to love and respect each other, no matter what the differences. Everyone has their own path, and sometimes it is just entirely different from ours.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Bluestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
4. My guide has some comforting words about this
He says, "This is the path they chose." Somehow it makes me feel better to know that they chose it.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mysticalchick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Guides always say it better ...
... yes, this is indeed the path they chose as we have chosen ours. I'm a "fixer" too - probably one of MY life lessons to learn to let others have theirs.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
6. I've got this new vision
Edited on Fri Dec-12-08 04:02 PM by votesomemore
of our souls being cut into facets in ethereal realms, produced by our trials and misfortunes. If we believe in our existence in other dimension, what might we look like? Sparkling gem stones is one visual option. The more facets, the more valuable.

And this time worn tale:

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole
which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and
while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water
at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on
daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in
his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its
accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor
cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was
able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the
water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load
because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to
your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work,
and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion
he said,

"As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful
flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun
warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered
it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had
leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its
failure.

The bearer said to the pot,

"Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but
not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your
flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the
path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate
my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have
this beauty to grace his house."
...
To the Semitic mindset, a waterjug was like one's soul. For a woman to break
her water vessel would bring her great shame. It would be as if she broke
her own soul. She guarded her water vessel as if it were her very life. That
is why the fact that the Samaritan woman on the Book of John who left her
water jug at the well was so significant. It was a completely un-Semitic
thing to do. It was like leaving her soul behind. It just wasn't
"traditional."

If a water girl broke her vessel, all the pieces would be kept and used for
some other purpose--Job used some pieces to scrape his sores, for example.
Only the smallest pieces would be discarded and buried in the ground. The
rest would find a use not as honorable as being a water vessel, but still
useful. Some pieces might become a ladle and some might become a brazier, a
pan to hold hot coals. This waterjug would become a "vessel of dishonor,"
that is, it would no longer serve the purpose for which it was originally
made, but still useful.

A large piece might become a fire pan (brazier)which might be placed on some
young boy's head early in the morning. His mother would "pour hot coals on
his head." Then the boy would go from house to house, giving a piece of hot
coal to each of his neighbors which they would use to start the fire for the
day. It was much more difficult in those days to start a fire than it is
today. It is this picture one should see when reading Romans 12:20:

"If your enemy hungers, feed him; if he thirsts, give him a drink. For in
so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head."
...

Do what you can for them. The rest is soul work. And you wanting to "help" them is yours. ;)
We don't really know what purpose someone will live, or how they need to prepare.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sun Nov 03rd 2024, 07:36 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Religion & Spirituality » Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC