Ever had a dream so sweet, it made you depressed?

[FirstLight]

I had a cool dream this morning...woke up to breakfast cooking and the house smelling great and my kids playing and a composite of my favorite boyfriend and my childhood sweetheart in my kitchen, cooking up some love...felt those arms around me, felt it so realistically...and then gone in a poff of smoke as the reality of my kids waking me up set in
...

I miss having someone care for me, I miss having someone to share with on that level, I miss being told I am beautiful (even when I am grungey) I miss having someone cook and play in the kitchen, I wish there was that partner to shoulder things with, I wish there was someone who could take the responsibility off my shoulders for even a millisecond, I wish there was osmeone I could trust like that..

but today I have the lingering and fading sweetness of that dream, and the lingering depression of feeling so alone I want to just give up
:cry:

[Idylle Moon Dancer]

1. oh yes

I am feeling very alone myself lately

I have had many dreams that made me wish I would never wake up,
but then I have had plenty of those where waking up was sweet relief

:hug:

[FirstLight]

2. both...

but today's ache is tangible, I feel like I am looking for him around each corner.
If I could call my old boyfriend, it would'nt be him I was looking for, I know itis a composite of the "old" him and what I loved about him that I am looking for
and as much as I know a relationship can't fix th other stuff in my life I am dealing with, it would be a pleasant distraction! not to mention probably do a world of good for my self esteem!


meanwhile, it is off to the gym, go burn the remnants of agnst out of my body and continue plodding up the never ending mountain of my life... ever alone....

[crikkett]

9. oh no love, you're not alone

(to quote david bowie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jg4ekLG9Zo )

Too bad you cant just go pick someone up when you feel this way. ah, youth...

Have hope! Your mood now might be exacerbated because of the weather and the bright moon. Its still dark out, yet unseasonably warm (i'm in S. Bay, hi neighbor!) and that might be sending your body mixed signals.

I hope he finds you.

[crikkett]

10. i just read your other post about your work/church sitch...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=245&topic_id=82353&mesg_id=82436

and now I think you can view your 'kitchen' dream as a reassurance to you that everything will work out and everything is going to be OK.

I think the message of your dream is that you ARE loved ALREADY in a way that you see as PERFECT, and furthermore you are WORTHY of this love. You don't need it, you HAVE it!!

I think you had the experience so that you can remember and call up the emotion when you need reassurance and protection during the day.

I hope you have a great day.

Take care.

[FirstLight]

11. wow, thanks for that

I didn't see the connection between the kitchen and the other stuff...

you know, it is the hardest thing about this illusion of time/space is that we already ARE loved and connected and cred for and yet the veil is so very thick on certain days, we can't see of feel it...and we are convinced we are alone.

good call, crickett!
(and Im sure the weather and moon, etc are part of the weirdnes too...been some crazy transits lately!)

[crikkett]

14. (I only said the part about the weather

because I had a sort of recurring-romance dream this morning too)

It's a James Bond thing, and I'm a subversive who's being tailed by someone I continue to evade. I don't know why I'm subversive but apparently it's nothing I have guilt over. There's always a face-to-face encounter, and then a chase.

The problem is that I always wake up just before I get away, because the game's over and I wonder if I had been allowed to win and I half-wish to be caught.

[FirstLight]

15. wow...

the chase theme is very interesting....
is it a subconscious thing where your see males as on a "diferent side" than you? or could there be a competition thing?

dreams are so cool, and there are times when I wish I could just stay in bed and soak them up all day!

[Digit]

3. Yes, and it was the same kind of dream

It was very brief, but the love I felt between us took my breath away.
I have had this dream, if it WAS a dream, twice. For all I know, maybe it was a glimpse
of someone on the other side of the veil and he is waiting for me. :shrug:

I like the setting of your dream, though. It sounded so warm and comforting.
So, don't give up....you have a lot of living to do. :hug:

[Kind of Blue]

6. Maybe not on the other side, but in the here and now.

When I was finally ready to share my life with someone, after you say, doing a lot of living, I wrote down my criterion (especially that he loves me for exactly who I am, and vice verse, of course). Then asked the Universe, if he's out there, show me exactly who he is! Why not?
I started dreaming. The first was a dream of introduction but he was just a person in the dream and I thought nothing of him other than he laughed a lot and what a cutey. Then this was followed by a series of mundane activities with this man, picking him up from work, walking in the rain, lots of talking, etc. I figured my imagination was running wild because though the dreams were deliciously real, maybe deep down, I was feeling really desperate because it really hurt waking up to the present reality. During this time, I was making the biggest move of my life clear across the country and thought how can I possible do so when I know I'm gonna meet this guy? But I wasn't gonna hang around just to meet some guy.

Anyway, I met him clear across the country. The funniest dream, thank goodness I wrote them down just to prove it, even to myself, we were in a restaurant and my man was wearing a suede jacket with fringes on the back of the sleeves and then the late Ike Turner (of Ike and Tina Turner) showed up to say hello. Well, I think Ike Turner was okay but I was never into him or his music. So fast forward, we're in a restaurant one evening sitting at a table by the window and who walks by? My husband says, "there goes Ike Turner." I'm like, where? He says, "he's always around. He lives here in La Jolla." I stood up to look and just then Ike Turner, who
was being greeted by people noticed me gawking with my face pressed to the window, looking like a fool. And then he waved a hello. I just couldn't believe it. Ike was wearing a matching ensemble of crisp white leather pants and jacket with fringes hanging from the sleeves.

So perhaps your dreams are of the here and now. I've had friends tell of the same feeling, or dreaming, or just kind of knowing when they were going to meet their partners. Always coming unexpectedly, when they were ready but not searching, could live a life alone though they were not necessarily lonely; and had a space in their lives to include someone who wants to be included.

[Idylle Moon Dancer]

7. "when they were ready but not searching"

I feel like that's the direction I need to move,
but it's so hard not to search
when the getting ready feels so cold and lonely

[Kind of Blue]

8. Yeah, getting that space prepared to allow another is the hard part because it has

nothing to do with him/her, it's all about you. I can only speak of my experience and to me every single thing is tied into Spirit. So it's not as though I never felt cold and lonely. At one point I was so alone and devastated that I became a blithering idiot if a man showed any sign of interest beside friendship. So I started Practicing not giving into it for long because it perpetuates itself. I started to understand that what I'd been sending to Spirit in my moment-to-moment thoughts and emotions is what Spirit sent back. But she's kind enough to send help and positive reinforcement, as I cleared out the junk and the funk of conditioning (pure pain) and start filling up with some clarity.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that eventually, wanting to share a life was not just about being comforted, or ending loneliness, or help with the bills. I learned to take care of those things myself, especially through the irony of resisting the very things I wanted :crazy:

Sharing life became a thing of expansion for me. It was like the purpose was I can Be even more of who I am in this particular direction called marriage, and there would be no end to growth.

And then I started having fun with it, drew up an ongoing list that I kept in conversation with Spirit. Like, You know, Spirit? I want a guy who thinks being a loner is just fine, who's just as comfortable with not talking and who can talk up a storm. Sounds self-centered and airy fairy but the fun of imagining in pure Joy kept the cold at bay, my vibration high, and allowed the flow of information.

A wise guy (literally and figuratively) I use to know told me once just ask, when you're ready to know, show me who this person is :)

[FirstLight]

12. beautifully put!

yes, I want somone to complete my picture of a happy home and gamily, but not to rescue me or do the things I may think i can't do for myself. I know I don't have someone in my life right now because I need to feel more stable, do some more therapy and feel successful in my own right befoire I can find someone to be my EQUAL.
(The worst thing ever is a man who uses their presence against you like "where would you be without me" kind of crud, don;t need that, no way!)

meanwhile I keep laying the groundwork to get myu health, my career my world in a place where it *feels* welcoming for that kids of union.
I made a list once of 121 qualities I wanted in a man. and realized with my ex that I had compromised some very imporant needs. It may be time to rethink "the list" and this time make sure I know which items are NON negotiable!

meanwhile, my angels do a pretty god job of holding me and reminding me I am cared for...just look at the love here at ASAH! ;)
:grouphug:

[Kind of Blue]

18. Yeah, keeping the tone of what's non-negotiable or what's

flexible enough to work with but focusing on what you do want are so true. No hitting, no slapping were definitely on my list. Sometimes I think that I should have included no Messy Marvin while I was at it :rofl:

[Kind of Blue]

19. WHOOPS! I did it again. Wrongly posted. Please ignore.

I was responding to Journalgrrl 's "Ever had a dream so sweet, it made you depressed?" :blush: :blush::blush:

[Kind of Blue]

20. I just don't know what I do to cause this to happened again.

I reply to a post but it ends up as an OP. Then I try to rectify it making it worse. I'm sorry, Journalgrrl to create a mess in your OP. :blush:

[Shallah Kali]

21. Blame it on Mercury Rx

Shallah, wondering if the Mercury was ever associated in any culture with a trickster god/goddess

[Silver Gaia]

22. Well, actually yes. Mercury himself is often seen as a trickster,

especially in his Greek form, Hermes. ;)

[Kind of Blue]

24. I just thought he was a messenger god. I'll have to investigate

his Greek form and tell him to knock it off already :)

[Kind of Blue]

23. I dont' know, Shallah, but that trickster is always poking

fun at me. By the way, what is the Mercury Rx? I had a similar incident on the computer while working yesterday.

[Shallah Kali]

25. Mercury is retrograde right now moving backward from our Earthly point of view

and many people find their electronic devices and general comunnication skills go on the fritz. bigtime. Like the past day I have had one heck of a time spelling even little words and I am getting darned sick of going back to correct my spelling. :banghead:

[Kind of Blue]

26. Ah, now it makes sense. Thanks, Shallah and Joolz.

Looked him up in his trickster aspect and found this at http://southerncrossreview.org/18/trickster.htm Transformation of the Trickster, even in my culture under the name Esu-Elegbara, "a figure of double duality, of unreconciled opposites, living in harmony... 'the epitome of paradox' (30) with the “capacity to reproduce himself ad infinitum.” I'm having a talk with him in a minute.

"In this archetypal form, the culture heroes called tricksters have been widely discussed and analyzed: two representative and thorough studies, for example, are Paul Rodin’s The Trickster (1956), which focuses on the trickster in the Winnebago myth cycle, and Lewis Hyde’s Trickster Makes This World (1998), which examines tricksters from a wide variety of cultures and discusses their effects on the modern artistic imagination. There seems to be fairly general agreement about the characteristics or properties of these tricky beings. According to Radin, for example, “Trickster is at one and the same time creator and destroyer, giver and negator, he who dupes others and who is always duped himself. . . . He possesses no values, moral or social, is at the mercy of his passions and appetites, yet through his actions all values come into being” (xxiii). Carl Jung, in an appendix in Radin’s volume, says further, “Trickster is both subhuman and superhuman, a bestial and divine being, whose most alarming characteristic is his unconsciousness."

[JanusAscending]

29. I'm just lazy.....

I used to go back, but spell check is easier(too bad they don't check for grammer too!)

[conscious evolution]

27. Here is a drum rythym

that will chase away the trickster.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8271551341895532413
It is a West African drum song called Linjin.

[Kind of Blue]

28. Believe it or not - I've been having audio problems.

Thanks, Conscious Evolution for the link. I have a strong belief in coincidences and synchronicity, so think I'll leave Hermes aka Esu-Elegbara alone for a while :)
I know I need new speakers but, my goodness, why now? :crazy:

[The Blue Flower]

4. I have also

I've been single for a LONG time after divorce (25 years), and I've had dreams infused with such sweetness and love--without finding it--that my description of it is "dreaming about being loved as a prisoner dreams of being free."

[FirstLight]

13. ouch...

so true, it's painful! I know that feeling well, and wonder if it is really going to happen while my lttle ones are young enough to have the experience of having a father...but that can't be my reason for looking either. If we are a complete family as-is, then so be it...I'll just look for "him" when I am 50 and backpacking across europe after the kids are grown! lol

[LaydeeBug]

5. I feel that way about this song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNaNN9c-Hk4

:hi:

[Digit]

16. One of my favorite songs from the Moody Blues...

"I Know You're Out There Somewhere"

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

The mist is lifting slowly
I can see the way ahead
And I've left behind the empty streets
That once inspired my life
And the strength of the emotion
Is like thunder in the air
'Cos the promise that we made each other
Haunts me to the end

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

The secret of your beauty
And the mystery of your soul
I've been searching for in everyone I meet
And the times I've been mistaken
It's impossible to say
And the grass is growing
Underneath our feet

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you


You see I know you're out there somewhere
O yes I know you're out there somewhere
You see I know I'll find you somehow
O yes I know I'll find you somehow

the words that I remember
From my childhood still are true
That there's none so blind
As those who will not see
And to those who lack the courage
And say it's dangerous to try
Well they just don't know
That love eternal will not be denied

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

Yes I know it's going to happen
I can feel you getting near
And soon we'll be returning
To the fountain of our youth
And if you wake up wondering
In the darkness I'll be there
My arms will close around you
And protect you with the truth

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

[Shallah Kali]

17. Somewhere Out There

Somewhere Out There lyrics
Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someones thinking of me
And loving me tonight

Somewhere out there
Someones saying a prayer
That we'll find one another
In that big somewhere out there

And even though I know
How very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing
On the same bright star

And when the night wind
Starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping
Underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we'll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know
How very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing
on the same bright star

And when the night wind
Starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping
Underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we'll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true...