|
last Tuesday, I unexpectedly ran into a former coworker from the employer that poisoned and harrassed me. I finally had a chance to speak the anger that I've been harboring for 2 years. She was oblivious, but it didn't matter. My last bits of anger have been dissipating into the ether ever since. While others here have been stressing this week, I've been increasingly calm and centered. The dream of my healed mother and the rescued puppies from Georgia, the experiences with my conductor last year, increasingly feel like the wounds I was carrying for decades have been flushed out and healed.
And after weeks of sleeplessness and worry, and looking at my options and realizing it's all out of my hands at this point...I finally was able to let go. Now, while I watch my bank account run down, I just shrug. I sleep through the night.
Starting 6 months before 9/11/01, I stopped being able to really meditate. This was after more than 30 years of slipping in and out of meditative practice, like I was slipping in and out of a comfortable terry robe and slippers.
And suddenly, without any ado, I've suddenly been meditating first thing in the morning. Not getting into the deep, deep theta that I used to, but even to just be able to sit there, with Jakey and Luna draped over and around me, and have the inner quiet descend and reach centeredness has been blessed relief.
Yesterday, I felt the sudden urge to re-read Spangler's Everyday Miracles. I'm on winter break from school, so I realized I can give it the time. I'm halfway through, and my 2nd synchronicity just happened. I'd forgotten how much further he takes CYOR beyond affirmations and thoughts, and into the realm of quantum mechanics and em radiation. Now that I've gone beyond lay reading on physics and actually studied some real baby quantum mechanics, it has even greater meaning.
I'm thinking I'll incorporate his manifestation practice exercises into my morning meditation.
|