"Big Breakthrough" Coming....but now, a month later, panic attacks and fear

[FDRLincoln]

Since my kundalini rose in 2006, I've had a few channeling-type experiences in which I've seemed to be communication with spirits. These have often resulted in receiving or channelling information which later turned out to be validated, in two cases from people who had recently passed on. I have not been particularly comfortable with this aspect of it, feeling that channeling and such communications are a side-effect of spiritual conciousness, and that we can easily lose our way if we focus too much on such side-effects. Other "side effects" I have experienced since my kundalini rose include the ability to "transmit" energy through my hands and greatly ease pain in others, even at a distance.

In early January, I received one such "communication" in which it was made very clear that soon I would take "another step forward" if you will, and that my energies would sooon ramp up higher. This seemed to be the case for a few days after that...but then, starting about a month ago, I began experiencing fear and panic attacks, seeming out of nowhere.

I've developed a minor medical condition which has improved with treatment, but is not clearing up entirely. Although it is getting better, I've had almost daily panic attacks about this condition. My doctor has prescribed Xanax, which helps me cope, but I do not want to rely on pharmaceuticals....I want to get to the bottom of what spiritual/emotional thing is going on here.

My spiritual advisor (who is also a trans-personal psychologist) believes that the problem with the medical condition and the slow healing is a lesson in surrender, and that I need to surrender my fears to God/Goddess/All That Is in order to "take the next step" that I was told about in January.

This rings true...yet every time I make a bit of progress in meditation, or feel like I've let some of the fear go, the panic comes back full force. It is inhibiting my ability to function properly, and I'm sure is part of the reason my body hasn't fully healed yet.

Any ideas?

[Gin]

1. years ago I was doing yoga breathing and meditation and experienced

kundalini....not a good experience for me at that time...body not ready for that energy...felt like my chest was raw and burning......took a long time to heal and ever since I have been afraid to meditate on a regular basis.....

after years of internal work I am ready to try meditation on a regular basis again.

[FDRLincoln]

2. K

My Kundalini experience has been almost entirely positive up until now. It cleared away so many old blocks...guilt, fear...helped remake me into the person I was meant to be.

Until now...suddenly I can barely function.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. You might ask the panic

from whence it comes. That would be the first thing to try, I'd think. Or ask inner guides for help.

Could the panic be coming from some sense of unworthiness? Could forgiveness of self for these thoughts help?

[FDRLincoln]

4. panic

I have asked inner guides for help, and have had some interesting dreamwork ongoing about the concept of overcoming fear which I suspect are coming from my guides.

The panic seems related to the concept of loss...fear of loss, of losing things I hold dear. I also get the sense that this is the culmination of a long process of some sort. It really does seem to come down to the concept of surrendering fear, to finally trust God with EVERYTHING, including my fears...but whether I should try to do this all at once, or little by little, I am uncertain.

Ayeshahaqquiqa, by the way, I've read a lot about Sufism over the last two years and it makes much, much sense to me.

[Stevepol]

5. Are you doing anything with others as a kind of "service"?

Sometimes this energy needs to be poured out to others in service or it begins to create blocks and fears.

In any case, it needs to be coordinated with your work and your relationships with others as well as your personal life.

It sounds as if you have some wonderful opportunities ahead. Good luck. The fears and doubts are always there no matter what we do. Maybe you are just more aware of those feelings now with your awakening.

[crikkett]

6. Make sure you're eating well.

My first thought was 'Calcium deficiency' and my second, 'vitamin B'. Food sources are better than dietary supplements.

Your nervous system depends heavily on both. Calcium helps your metabolism and helps you stay calm and the B vitamins help your body absorb other essential nutrients through digestion, and keeps your nervous system healthy.

Activities like sending Qi through your hands and channeling spirits put strain on your body. It's not magic. (Did I say that? I mean it doesn't happen without any material side effects.)

So as your spirit and mind grow, it's best to keep your body in the best shape possible, like an athlete would.

my 2c.

[Celebration]

7. It sounds like your sympathetic nervous system is ramping up

If there is a good acupuncturist around you, I would suggest that. If that is not possible, maybe you could try (a rather high dose of) Valerian, because it is gentler than Xanax. Yes, acupuncture can help treat emotional things.

Other things--try yoga, tai chi, exercise, etc., and see if that helps. I have heard that it is impossible to have panic attacks if one practices breathing correctly. But I can't really describe how to breathe the right way. I think the hyperventilating may precede the panic in most cases.