Grief

[Delphinus]

Hello, all.

I'm an energy worker who finds herself needing to do grief work and yet stuck in that grief. I spent the morning get my chakras back into balance and, really, feel much better. But I've intellectualized my grief - instead of feeling it, I've "talked" it out. I know, that at least for me, the only way "out" is "through" and talking is not the way I need to go.

Does anybody have any suggestions to getting the tears to flow? Or any good weepy movies with substance that may move my heart? I'm working with a piece of Apache Tear obsidian, and have found a few of my flower essences: Rescue Remedy, Dogwood, Mugwort, and Star of Bethlehem. The Star, of course, and Rescue will both help, but I'm not sure it will get me to the point of tears.

Tears are the Universe's way of melting a heart frozen in grief - and this is where I need to be.

Thank you and blessings ...

[FreedomAngel82]

1. What I do

is I listen to sad love songs. Boys II Men and people like that.

[Delphinus]

4. Thank you, FreedomAngel82.

I've got some John Denver songs - not sad, but they do fill me with a longing to be out in the "Wild Country".

[LWolf]

7. John Denver

"Matthew's Song" was one that I listened to quite a bit when I was grieving.

Grief is a funny thing; you can think you've done it all, go months feeling fine, and a little thing will trigger the tears again.

I went through an extended period of grief beginning January 2000; it lasted several years. By 2004, I felt I was pretty much done, only to find the tears springing up again just a couple of months ago.

For some reason, I did most of my crying in the car. When I was home, I wanted the comfort of sanctuary, not tears. When I was out somewhere, I didn't want to grieve in public. The morning drive to work, and then home again in the evening, seems to be where I do the most inner "work," including grieving.

[Desertrose]

2. This is tough.....

I think you have to first of all, give yourself permission to let it all out. As an energy worker, we sometimes tend to feel we have to always be strong...not true. Strength comes in many ways as I'm sure you already know.

Maybe the best way to bring the tears out is to find a safe place and time and just relieve what it is you are grieving for......

I think its also something you can't push or force and the more you focus on NOT grieving or being unable to "properly" grieve, the more you may be blocking it. Its sort of its own process....just be gentle with yourself and allow things to unfold as they will.

You know that even though you may think you have intellectualized it that when the time is right you will let it all flow..perhaps talking is the first phase.....it will happen as your spirit & heart dictates...just don't judge yourself.

:hug::grouphug:
:loveya:
DR

[Delphinus]

5. Thank you, Desertrose.

Good advice. I know the Universe has a timetable all its own. I also know I don't want to manifest something really bad just to make me cry. I know it's time because all of these issues are finding physical ways to come out.

I took the week off from work so I could do this work, and even if the tears don't come, I have accomplished a lot. I have journaled - something I usually don't do, and it has helped to get things into focus.

I know there's a time and place for everything - perhaps the tears don't need to come - and I will let that be OK too. But it does seem to be a long time since I cried - I'm a Cancer - seems I never had problems with crying before. :) Maybe some of that has to do with my "maturing" and hormones. The one problem that's coming out with my eye, seems like yesterday, when I cried just an itty bit, made it clear up for a time - another reason I'm anxious to let the tears flow.

Perhaps the message I need to hear most is what you gave: "don't judge yourself". Thank you.

[Eloriel]

3. EFT

Brings the tears, then dries them away pretty quick:

Emotional Freedom Technique
http://www.emofree.com/newcomer.htm
Tutorials: http://www.emofree.com/tutorial.htm
Articles: http://www.emofree.com/art.htm
Case Studies http://www.emofree.com/default.htm#EFT%20at%20work
Download manual: http://www.emofree.com/eftmanl.pdf

Star of Bethlehem is magnificent for grief. In my experience, it dries grief up as well.

[Delphinus]

6. Thank you, Eloriel.

I have a friend who does this in her practice - I was her guinea pig twice and really found it empowering. I wasn't needing to let go of anything then, but found some really neat tools to maintain my calm in the midst of stress. I'll check this out!

Thanks for the verification on the Star of Bethlehem. It has helped me before - I was afraid that taking it would stop the tears. I dated a guy once who was into NLP. When he dumped me, he wanted me to use the NLP to take away the hurt. I didn't want to do that because I thought it would hamper the truth of the situation. I needed to deal with the breakup and go forward. To me, using the NLP just masked it and nothing was ever dealt with. That's why I was reluctant to go ahead and use the Star. I didn't want to shortchange the grief.