Powerful Rest and Fluids Industry Influencing Doctors' Treatment of Colds

[lizerdbits]

"You have no idea how deep this goes," said Dr. X, a physician who wished to remain anonymous. "They've got everyone, from the pediatricians and family doctors, right on down to the school nurses. We've had the cure for the common cold for nearly 40 years, but it's still 'rest and fluids, rest and fluids.' Why? Because these guys are getting paid through the nose, that's why."

"The complimentary king-sized beds, the downy soft comforters, the absolutely ravishing women," Dr. X continued. "It's a sick, sick world."

The American Rest and Fluids industry first rose to prominence during the Great Influenza Pandemic of 1918, when there existed only meager competition from quarantines and prayer. After gaining influence during the '20s and '30s, mainly through mob connections and a few corrupt U.S. senators, R&F was again buoyed in 1947 following the introduction of employee sick days.

What began as a small-scale racket has today grown into a multinational organization, with billions of dollars devoted each year to pushing its pro-napping, broth-focused agenda.

THE OUTRAGE!!

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/powerful_rest_and_fluids_industry

[Warpy]

1. Have no fear! Our compassionate vitamin industry

has offered a whole array of cold treatments to the world, from zinc to vitamin C to homeopathy! Most of it comes in the form of real pills so you know it will work every time!