I grabbed a Reiki pamphlet from a local woo store

[Orrex]

To be honest, I have nothing against the store. It seems like a fairly standard, though unassuming, New Age retailer with an assortment of books, incense, statuary, and assorted baubles. But there's a bulletin board and a shelf near the entrance, and on the shelf I found a stack of pamphlets for a local Reiki master.

According to the brochure, it claims that (this particular brand of) Reiki can help you rebuild the connection to your Soul Star. Also, Reiki is described as "a powerful healing modality," whatever that means. A one-hour session with the master costs $65, but since Reiki energy can penetrate clothing, the victim can remain fully clothed.

Here's the part that really interested me, though: the brochure describes a three-part workshop by which the victim can become a Reiki master (and can, presumably, charge $65/hour thereafter). Each part of the workshop is eight hours, meaning that you could go from uninitiated rube to venerable master in one day, if you skipped naps and potty breaks.

Amazingly, when I worked for 7-11 in the early 90's, they required a 40-hour training regimen. I guess it takes more training to count cigarettes and milk jugs than it takes to balance chakras or whatever.

[uriel1972]

1. Hmmmmm well since you don't actually do anything

you don't have to do much traing, perhaps?

[beam me up scottie]

2. When you really think about it, this is an excellent career choice.

Presuming they already believe in it, what woo is going to know the difference between sham Reiki and real Reiki?

And if they don't believe, they would still have to go along with it because they would be terrified that other woos would discover their skepticism.

It's ingenious.

[Orrex]

3. My scruples are preventing me from achieving fiscal solvency

A while back I thought about running a ghost-eradicator service. I'd demand cash up front, and, after they paid, I'd walk into the house and say "there are no ghosts here."

Then I'd get back in my car and go home.


Repeat as necessary.

[beam me up scottie]

4. Sucks, doesn't it?

Snake oil salesmen are making millions because woos are so credulous and they think we're the bad guys...:banghead:

[Orrex]

5. Yes indeed.

I'm routinely accused of being fearful, intolerant, ignorant, hateful, and bigoted (as recently as ten minutes ago, as a matter of fact).

But the hucksters who prey upon the credulous are lauded as paragons of virtue and goodness.

[salvorhardin]

6. Honestly I'm considering adopting a pen name and writing woo friendly articles

It appears to be a much larger, much less competitive and more in-demand market than science and other factual writing. Oh, and not to mention that it takes much less time. No need to tediously research and fact check. Just make stuff up and go.

The only problem as I see it, aside from my scruples, is that based on my examination of the various freelance writing job boards, woos don't pay very well. It's very common to see stuff like someone who wants 10 pieces of web content for $25. Sure, it's not just confined to the woo woos but it sure does seem more prevalent among them. On the other hand, the large women's magazines aren't very critical about what they accept for content and they do tend to pay well and I'm sure there must be good paying markets for breathless, noncritical articles about UFOs, ghosts, etc.

I figure, they're going to be consuming this crap anyway so I might as well be the one making money on it.

But I don't know if I'll go through with it. Probably not. I always get these sorts of dark scheming thoughts when finances get dire.

[Deep13]

10. Ain't that the truth!

How hard would it be to become a guy who talks to angels or dead people or whatever?

[uppityperson]

7. Good grief I hate that word "modality". Just say "style" or "type". argh

I am a nurse and massage therapist and explain to people that what I focus on is the outcome. Do you want to feel better, have less pain in your neck, be able to golf again? Let's work towards that goal rather than focusing on what "modality" I will use.

I mean, really, it is just a woowoo confabulating term for type or style. WHY try to confuse people or be so concerned at looking Masterful and Wise? I really hate that term and hate the focus on "what modality will you use".

No, I don't do Reiki. Had a talk with another cynic who does Reiki about the fact that you can call yourself "certified" without having to show any competence.

AND, there is a local "massage therapist" who charges lots more for "energy work" since it is soooooooooooo much more difficult, takes sooooooooooooo much more out of you than what we "mechanical massagers" do.

blech

[onager]

8. But can you do....Therapeutic Touch?

I don't know why they call it that, since nothing gets touched. Except the patient's Human Energy Field, of course.

One of the most hilarious failures in woo-dom and they are still flogging it today:

http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/tt.html

[uppityperson]

9. of course. I haven't figured out why I would want to though.

One of the classes in school was TT. Yes, I could feel warm spots and differences, but could never quite figure out why I would want to do anything with them. I have been told I am boring.

[Deep13]

11. In 1999 when my Dad was in a coma in the hospital...

...some woman came around offering reiki. I had no idea what it was, but since it did not involve actually doing anything, I figured "why not."

I am going to put in my living will that no one is to use any magic nonsensical treatments. If I get better, I don't want them taking credit.