Haw haw haw

[Heddi]

So I was at new employee orientation today ---I went from being a travel RN to working full time at my hospital.

Orientation is spread over 5 non-consecutive days and covers everything from HIPPA to standards of practice, etc etc.

Today during "standards of care" talk, someone asked about the hospital's policy on Therapeutic Touch.

The RN teaching that section agreed that a back rub, or gentle holding of the hand during a stressful time can be very beneficial to the patient and has been shown to lower BP and heart rate in the stressed and ill, etc. etc.

The RN asking the question listened patiently and then said 'no no, i mean the kind of therapeutic touch where we manipulate energies and promote color and chakra balance in the patient" (she really said 'chakra'!!)

The RN at the front of the room was very composed, and very quiet, and very professionally said "I'd like everyone to remember that this hospital is a center of learning, a teaching hospital. Our nurse-based care is driven by evidence based practice. Once anything involving chakras and energies and colors has been proven, scientifically, to be anything but bunk, and are also proven to have positive outcome on the patient, then we will evaluate it to see if it is something to be incorporated into our standards of care.

"However, currently, there is no proof that therapeutic touch that involves energies and chakras and colours is anything other than a clever marketing technique aimed more at restoring the emptiness of a patient's wallet more than restoring positive energies. That being said, we, as an institution, do not recognize therapeutic touch, in the way that you are speaking, as being a part of the health care model. Therefore, as a licensed professional, you are not allowed to participate or encourage your patient to participate in this activity. You may not direct them, nor may you perform this activity on your patient. There are plenty of individuals outside of the hospital setting that will be more than happy to relieve our patients of whatever ills their misaligned chakra is causing them. We are not among them, and we, as professionals and as an institution, will not permit unproven pseudoscience to replace evidence based, knowledge based, and science based medicine."

And she said it with a smile the whole time. It was great. I was like "oooh I gotta write this down" and was scribbling furiously to dictate what she said.

The RN that asked the question seemed mighty pissed that she wasn't being paid $25 an hour to re-align chakras. One girl at the table across from me whispered "If she was my nurse I wouldn't want her within 100 feet of me" ha ha

[uriel1972]

1. Sounds like she has been asked that question before

or has a ready wit. Round one to proven science :)

[TZ]

2. She obviously worships at the alter of science!

:sarcasm: for the lurking woos....

[semillama]

3. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.

Did you high-five anyone after she said that?

[moggie]

4. That is so hot

I think I just came a little.

[Silent3]

5. I don't think think the RN running the orientation...

...was actually wearing the shiny leather corset, leather boots, nor wielding a whip the way you were imagining, however. I can't be sure, however. You'd have to ask Heddi. I've never been to one of these RN orientation things.

[Heddi]

6. No, no corset

Thursday at the hospital is Big Scone Day and Naked Orientation Day.

Wednesday is Corset day.

[Heddi]

7. sweet

my work here is done.

now wipe off the keyboard.