Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

OMG! WTF! LOL I have MAGELLANS DISEASE I know for sure

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Science & Skepticism » Skepticism, Science and Pseudoscience Group Donate to DU
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 08:08 PM
Original message
OMG! WTF! LOL I have MAGELLANS DISEASE I know for sure
seriously!,

As you may have known I was impreg. by Orbes!! in October when they (the ORBES) found my Kitty Kat outfit too prescous to risist. They henceforth crawled into my VAHINA! and Impreg. me.

omg!

Anyway, today I notified myself that I was SCRATCHING my ARM and I looked and pulled my arm from under my VELOUR LIME GREEn SOFA THROW and low and behold. , I found this COMING OUT OF MY ARM SCRATCHES:

<img src=>

The CRAFTY thing is that these spaghetty are all MICRO SKOPIC and I happend to have ELECTRIC MICROSCOP at my TRAILER so I could SEE THESE they are very small do not let the picture of tasty pasta fool you THEY ARE SMALL AND COMING OUT OF MY ITCH HOLE ON MY ARM.!!

I kept itching and iTCHING and I found this too, it just cralwed rite out and HID UNDER THE CARPET AND NOW I CAN'T FIND IT but this is a good reprentation of what it was looked like.:

<img src=>

OMG! you guys what should I DO!?!?!? I know I am going to call those MONSTER SHILL ASS HOLES the "CDC" that stands for Complicated Dying Commies by the way heh and the "NHI" and I don't know what that stand for but this is just an OUTRAG!

Refresh | 0 Recommendations Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. Gack!
Goddamn you, Heddi! My head is pounding and you made me laugh, now I have to take a pill from Big Pharma. :spank:

But that's what you had planned all along, isn't it?

Oh yeah, I'm on to you.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
fadedrose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
2. Take 2 aspirin and lay down for 42 minutes...nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. Not to worry.
A new all purpose remedy has arrived. I just learned about it in the health scare lounge.

http://peoplespharmacy.com/bed-soap
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. hmmm...
From the Bed Soap page:

"Behind the Making of Bed & Leg Soap
When the FDA banned quinine for leg cramps it took away the only tool doctors had to treat this common and painful problem. People can still drink tonic water, but it takes a lot to provide the same amount of quinine a doctor woulud have prescribed." edit by me: Quinine is still used for leg cramps, albeit less frequently because more people have success with gabapentin for RLS. Also, you'd have thunk that the manager could have afforded himself the use of a spell check "woulud"...oy

With no sanctioned medical treatments, people are turning to home remedies. A bar of soap is one of the most ingenious we have ever heard of. There's no science to support this home remedy, but so many people tell us it has changed their lives that we think this is pretty cool.
Joe and Terry Graedon
The People's Pharmacy

Wait...what? NO SCIENCE TO SUPPORT THIS HOME REMEDY? but we think it's pretty cool....yeah, I think it's pretty cool to get suckers to pay $9 for a bar of soap (plus shipping) for something that has no proof that it does work, or even HOW it would work.

I'd love for someone to explain to me how a PEICE OF SOAP UNDER YOUR SHEETS will stop leg pain. SERIOUSLY. Osmosis? Get the fuck out of here. I bet if I ventured into their site I'd find a "pain knife" to put under your bed during painful events like childbirth "There's no science to support putting a knife under the bed to ease pain, but hey! They did it in the 15th century, so why not do it now???"

what's that saying about a really fucking stupid and gullible person and their money....
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. We don't need no stinking science.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 07:35 AM
Response to Reply #5
9. You are a challenge to the Medical Arts and Sciences
I suppose you have already tried vitamin D, it prevents cancer you know.

And I suppose you have already tried coconut juice, it cures AIDS you know.

But have you tried Remote Reiki? I am a Grand Imperial Double Diamond Remote Reiki Master With Oak Leaf Clusters. I'd be happy to heal your itch holes (but just the itch holes) for 4 easy payments of $49.95. As soon as the money is in my Pay-Pal account I will start sending you healing energy. You ought to be lying down for that. My Reiki is strong medicine!
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 08:04 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. KEEP YOUR'E GRUBY PAWS OFF MY ITCH HOLES
You're mind is so CLOSED1!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 08:33 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. So, have you tried Homeopathic Capsaicin
It is being pushed by the same person who seeks out placebos for the added placebo effect.

If that doesn't work, just post your complaint in the Health Scare Lounge. I'm sure you will get the best medical advice available for the price.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 10:19 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. CAPSYSIN is for SNEEZIES
I have ITCHIES god you shils can't even get your HATRED for EARTH MEDINCINE down PAT ENOUGH to MAKE FUN OF IT correctly.

Oooh let me guess...go see a doKKKter right? Oooh when I had my sezure fit and drooled and passed out GO SEE A DOKKKKTOR right?

yeah. whatever SHILL. Your mind is so CLOSE you can't even open it to POSTABILITYS that EATING 4 POUNDS OF RAW CHILLY PEPPERS A DAY IS BENEFITS TO THE GUT SYSTEM ha! proof me wrong liar's!

You know that my RESTLES LEG SYNOMOME went away when i got rid of the FLUKE IN MY USTRUS! Proof me wrong I DAIR you to! You CAN'T because YOU WON'T ! ha!

You know what? I don't even THINK of putting you on INGORE anymore because YOU'RE LIAR is so FUNNY it's TRUE! I love reading the "so called" COMMEN SENCE you "people" try to push. OPEN YOUR MINE! to the postability that MABYE just MABYE "so called" WESTERN mediSIN isn't all its cracked up to BE! Huh? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM APPLES, applehead?

Oh and SUPPOSEBLY magelans disease is just a hoxe. Yeah. Tell that to the YARN BALLS falling from my anus!! DISBELIFER!
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #14
16. I was only trying to help.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. I am not a COMPLAINER.
I am just the TYPE OF PERSON that lets others know when I am pissed off and THAT IS NOT COMPLAINING that is VENTING or something.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 10:43 AM
Response to Reply #17
18. If you are too closed minded to accept my help
I have nothing to offer you but my prayers. :)

Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
JitterbugPerfume Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #16
21. see? that proves it
if youse guys wuld just stop saying bad words the world wuld be perfeck
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. If Heddi could only accept the blessing FSM has given her.
Those worms that she is using to make funny hats are really the tender tendrils of young spaghetti monsters who have been transsubstanitated into her body from the holy taco shells she ate last week.

The power to heal herself is within herself.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 09:45 AM
Response to Reply #3
12. wait...
Let me get this straight, the same woos who go on about nature and nutrition being a cure all won't eat A FUCKING BANANA for leg cramps but instead buy some woowoo product? God they are such hypocrites.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 09:50 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. You are a mean old scientist who wants them to suffer. n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
skepticscott Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 11:04 AM
Response to Reply #12
20. I've always found that ironic, too
A lot of the people who avoid anything from GMOs like the plague, because (they claim) it hasn't been tested adequately, are the same ones who pop "herbal", "naturopathic" or other such remedies like they were candy, even though they have not been tested AT ALL to show that they are safe, or even do what they say they do. I guess when you've already made up your mind, anecdotal accounts are as good as gospel, but no amount of scientific evidence will ever be enough.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
nickgutierrez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #20
27. It's nature, and nature is healthy.
Also, there is no such thing as poison, except the stuff sold by BIG PHARMA!!!11
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #12
23. Shill here. Wouldn't this be a good use for the end bit of shower soap?
maybe I should start marketing my soap slivers?
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-28-09 11:00 PM
Response to Original message
4. YOU GUYS I'm TOTALLy SERIES!!! This is NO LAUFING MATAR!
Seriues. I'm SO DISTROT right now I can't even THINK and I know your all HA HA but this is NOT FUNNY

Just now I looked and the ITCH HOLES are all OVER my ARM this is an EPYDEMEC of GASTRONOMICAL PORPORTIONS!!1

So I just PULLED THESE OUT OF MY ARM HOLES


AND then I did this with them TO KEEP THEM FROM SPREDING



Serious! Guys! What do I DO? I know your MINDS ARE CLOSED to the REALITY of MARGELO'S DISASE but this is NOT 'FUNNY HA HA" this is FUNNY WEIRD!!

help! The STRINGS of STATAN are covering me and soon I will look like THIS: BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT me for to IMPREG ME with they're STRINGY SPAWN! help!
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 12:32 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. If you aligned your Chakra Orbies like this
and take a "paw-di-cure" you would feel much better.



:rofl:





Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
beam me up scottie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 01:53 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. I must say I admire those colours.
I'm a green/purple/blue kind of girl, pastels give me hives.

Do you think your diet affects the colour of the strings?

That last picture looks like something I found when I cleaned out my laptop's cooling fan yesterday.

We should get knitter in here, I bet she'll know what to do.

Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #8
15. well crazy HATER I hope your happy now
because I've been pooping string balls all night long THE MARGALENS STRINGS have invaded my COLIN! help!

But I have to say that it is a very WORSTED WEIGHT WOOL and once I cleaned it up it felted reall nice and I made this
while GOOGLING the ORIGAN OF THE STRING!! did you know that some people think they are WORMS!??!?!?! Did I just make a FELTED WORM HAT ew that is just as BAD as SUJESTING that I take PILLS for my UTERS FLUKE that cosed my SEZURE!!! it's true.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
skepticscott Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 10:59 AM
Response to Original message
19. I've looked at samples
from Morgellons people...they really are a sad lot, and getting horrible information about what's wrong with them. This is one instance where the internet has done far more harm than good in bringing people together. All it's done in this case is to reinforce a dangerous delusion.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
nickgutierrez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
24. So, now you have to figure out...
...why you CHOSE to let those noodle-thingies and that monster inside your arm. You CHOSE to have that itch-hole, and you need to figure out why before you can cure it.

(By the way: :rofl: )
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. !
Best.snark.ever! and I thought your sports forum snark was funny..:thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
26. Thank you all for this wonderful thread.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Sorry about the ORGASM DISEASE though. No, wait, I wouldn't be sorry about that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Heddi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-29-09 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Oh hush WHY DO YOU WANT ME AN OTHERS TO SUFER?
Edited on Sun Mar-29-09 08:23 PM by Heddi
your all ha ha poor heddi has string coming out of her A$$ but you know what COMMIE It's NOT FUNNY and maybe if you would PUT DOWN YOUR MERK ANd PHARMA PAYCHECK for once you'd HERE THE SCREAMS of the inosents that SUFER with HORRIBLE DISODORS that CANNOT BE CURED BECAUSE BIG PHARMA DOES NOT WANT THEM CURED have you ever thot about that huh shill

just for that see if I even ATEMT to make you a hat or nice AFGHANISTAN from the fibers from my holes of itch. I was going to be nice and SHOW YOU ALL that MARGENS DESES is REAL but not you I hope you freeze hater
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
mr blur Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-30-09 03:30 AM
Response to Original message
29. Just create a different reality, and live there -
It's the Woo Thing to Do.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-30-09 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
30. You derned secularfundambulists!
Go aheed and larf.

But, yew jest proved Darwin does NOT exist!!!!

hah!
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
Orrex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-31-09 07:37 AM
Response to Original message
31. I once knew someone who contracted Magellan's Disease via unprotected kinky sex
That'll teach him to go around the world.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
moggie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-31-09 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #31
32. It's spread by seamen? n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
bluedawg12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-01-09 01:09 AM
Response to Reply #32
33. No nasal mollusks.
Small ones.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sun Dec 22nd 2024, 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Science & Skepticism » Skepticism, Science and Pseudoscience Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC