98% Of Babies Manic-Depressive

[bluedawg12]

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/98_of_babies_manic?utm_source=b-section

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98% Of Babies Manic-Depressive


NEW YORK—A new study published in The Journal Of Pediatric Medicine found that a shocking 98 percent of all infants suffer from bipolar disorder. "The majority of our subjects, regardless of size, sex, or race, exhibited extreme mood swings, often crying one minute and then giggling playfully the next," the study's author Dr. Steven Gregory told reporters. "Additionally we found that most babies had trouble concentrating during the day, often struggled to sleep at night, and could not be counted on to take care of themselves—all classic symptoms of manic depression." Gregory added that nearly 100 percent of infants appear to suffer from the poor motor skills and impaired speech associated with Parkinson's disease.

[Djinn]

1. not to mention sociopaths

little buggers care not a bit about the lives or feelings of others - purely concerned with their own selfish needs - probably all the toxins in their mothers milk and not being born into a paddling pool of water to the sounds of whale music

[bluedawg12]

2. They need to see a good chiropractor.

:rofl:

[uppityperson]

3. Even better, a few multi-vaccines should straighten them out.

[bluedawg12]

6. Now a days babys don't even speak.

It MUST be the vaccines!

[mr blur]

4. In my experience they're also full of shit. (nt)

[bluedawg12]

7. They eat too much meat.

Little carnivores.

[progressoid]

5. Our first was born with a sleep disoder.

We tried everything - biofeedback, Enya, whiskey in the formula, etc.

The only thing that worked was just staying up late watching Star Trek TNG reruns.

[bluedawg12]

8. New borns spend too much time on the cell phone.

They become insomniacs, like the bees.