For our newer members of the group: butt candles...

[TZ]

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Procedure

The gentler alternative to laxatives, enemas and anti-flatuence pills.
"like a neti pot for your bottom" -- Oprah
ButtCandles™ are an exciting, and time honored, device for internal cleansing. We encourage you to peruse our site, read the referenced medical literature, and then make an informed decision as to whether you want to purchase our high-quality sanitary products. We stand behind all of our products and offer a 100% money back guarantee for all unused/unspoilt product.

http://www.buttcandle.com/

Really nothing more I can add to this except I have it on good authority that this product has been known to cause serious reactions in Aussies...:rofl:

[Meshuga]

1. And get rid of butt hair. n/t

[TZ]

2. hey crazy man!

Good to see you around these parts...:hi:

[Meshuga]

3. Good to see you too! :-) n/t

[uppityperson]

4. I prefer to use my shop-vac

Is this for real? Has to be a hoax. Well done though.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/permalink/buttcandles/


Fun page to test yourself:
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/tests/hoaxphototest.html

[TZ]

5. Yeah but there's a certain skeptic

that this is his ummmm least favorite topic of conversation...:evilgrin:

[realisticphish]

6. i seem to remember

him threatening to fire cruise missiles at our houses if we didn't stop :evilgrin:

[TZ]

8. I was figuring you would show up

Someone posted this in the atheists group and I realized some of our newbies should be introduced...btw it seems someone has graduated to threatening with lasers....:rofl:

[realisticphish]

10. well

Australia just takes longer to catch up with the rest of us :shrug:

[muriel_volestrangler]

12. Damn, I had fallen for it all this time

It doesn't seem farther out than indigo children, or Gillian McKeith.

[onager]

7. Another shameless Plug...

Which I recently posted in the Atheism group. But(t) I know some of you don't like to go there, since you find off-putting all the blood-drinking and Xian-baby-eating:

When you woke up this morning, you knew that something was missing in your life.

It wasn't the new car, the new job, the boyfriend or the girlfriend.

But now you know: it's the Baby Jesus Butt Plug.

Slap him on the dashboard. Use him as the ultimate pacifier or make Baby Jesus the centerpiece of your magnificent Dildo Creche.

What would Jesus do?

http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php

[Warpy]

9. Not recommended after a diet of beer, beans and egg salad

because of liability issues when it turns into a butt blowtorch.

However, it will work in some people. So will inserting a pencil or even the tip of a finger, all of which will stimulate the evacuation reflex.

[mr blur]

11. Stick it in your ear! Oh, wait...

that's the other one.

[JitterbugPerfume]

13. is this anything like the time honered ritual of

lighting farts?:rofl:

[madinmaryland]

14. That's just wrong.

:wtf:

[bluedawg12]

15. That would make for one enlightened

@sshole! :rofl:

[realisticphish]

16. *rimshot*

which, suppose could in itself deserve a *rimshot* :evilgrin:

[bluedawg12]

17. I want a 100% money back guarantee

for all used/spoilt product. :rofl:

If not!.... new item on ebay....slightly used... :evilgrin:

[bluedawg12]

18. Ha, ha, hah, heh,heh, ho,hooo,, murhp..howl...snort

Read to soft music.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Instructions
Thoroughly shower or bathe; it's best to leave the backside somewhat damp.
Squat, or lie on your back, to insert the ButtCandle ™ to a depth of no more than 3 inches. *!!!WAAAAHHT!!11

Are they fucking crazy?


If you encounter resistance, do not shove eeeiiiii---eeewww-- ... rather, gently twist while applying firm and steady pressure.
Upon completion of insertion, lie on your back and pull knees to your chest.


Strike the 10" wooden match that is provided. :rofl:

The lighting process, due to anatomical differences, is easier for women than for men.

Men need to reach around their thigh to light the wick; whereas women will find it easier to reach directly between the legs.

At no time should you permit the lit match to come in contact with your bodily parts... oh for shit's sake.


As the candle burns, a vacuum will be created within the rectum and thereby draw out the stubborn fecal material. A gurgling sound and sensation is not uncommon or cause to worry. The candle will snuff itself after approximately 5 minutes.

If, at any time during the process, the need to void becomes urgent simply go to the toilet as normal; the candle will instanteously go out when it becomes vertically oriented and, furthermore, the candle is 100% soluble and septic-safe so there's no need to dispose of it in any other fashion.

The used ButtCandle ™ should not be handled by anyone and kept out of reach of small children and household animals.
Many people find it relaxing to take a warm shower upon completion.

[realisticphish]

19. that's just about the worst time

to have your mom walk in on you: lying on the floor, knees to your chest, with a lit candle sticking out of your ass

[bluedawg12]

20. Unless you have your ear candles lit too!

:rofl:

[moggie]

21. You obviously speak from experience

[bluedawg12]

22. !

:rofl: