What lobby do you work for?

[SemiCharmedQuark]

I work for Big Chemical. Not a specific chemical, just chemicals in general. Evil evil chemicals.

[Heddi]

1. well, I've never told anyone at DU this, but I'm a Registered Nurse

Shocking, I know. You don't know how hard it is to keep that under wraps.

Anyhoo, I'm in the middle of it all:

I'm Big Pharma because, well, I just am.

I'm Big Medicine because uh,....

I'm Big Corporate Hospital even when i worked for community non profit

I'm Big Antibiotic Resistant Bacteria Cover-upper. According to one DU'er, there are hospitals being closed and burned to the ground CLANDESTINELY because the MRSA and shit is so out of control. Of course it's not true, but why let truth get in the way of a good hysteria>

I'm BIG VACCINATION woohoo especially now that it's FLOO SEASON. whoopie!!!

I'm Big Profits CaChing Money Maker. Yeah. Nurses are among the highest paid medical professionals. Our schooling hovers around "correspondence course" and "double sided pamphlet". I sit on my hiney all night long and make tens of dollars. I am underworked and over paid. My unions are the strongest in the world and hospitals and their administrators are at my beckon call (or beck and call...whatever). Nurses are respected everywhere, and the media would be strung up by the toes if they ever portrayed us as under-educated, under-skilled, or doing anything that involved wearing a stupid flying nun cap and 13 inch heels and mini skirts.

So yeah. I'm like Paris Hilton, but with stretch marks and Class II Narcotics.

[LeftishBrit]

2. I'm worse than you. I'm not just a shill for chemicals. I'm MADE of chemicals!

[LeftishBrit]

3. I'm a developmental psychologist. Some of my close colleagues work on autism

And I believe the findings of autism researchers more than I believe the Daily Mail! That definitely makes me a shill for something, I'm not quite sure what.

[trotsky]

4. I work in I.T. for a computer technology company.

So naturally, it flows that I am on big pharma's, big ag's, AND big yak's payroll. Duh.

[dropkickpa]

5. I work in Biomed research

So I'm in Big Pharma, Big Med, Big Chem, you name, I'll shill for 'em!!

[Deep13]

6. Big Government (tm) nt

[PVnRT]

7. I got everyone beat - Defense Contractor

Bunch of fuckin' amateurs around here.

[trotsky]

8. Holy crap

We are not worthy.

[TZ]

9. HAH!

I'm Big Pharma Big Biotech, Big Medical...and my company has worked on developing Gardasil, FluMist and is Now about to start poisoning er I mean vaccinating with their H1N1 vaccine..We are the very FIRST company to get it out to the general public...!! :woohoo: for evil efficiency...
I have true shill proof too..I just got a corporate T-Shirt (free) which has our logo and a website which talks about the importance of flu vaccination! Can't get more shilly than this! (if anyone wants to see the website PM me)

[PVnRT]

11. Pfft. That's nothing.

Our company has its own PAC to lobby Congress to pay for infrastructure improvements and the like so that we can continue to suckle the teat of government contracts. Oh, and we also have voter guides that urge employees to vote for local initiatives that would fund such projects.

Iraq? Oh, yeah, we got shit there. We even got kicked off a project by the Army because they claimed we screwed it up (it's more complicated than that, and for the Army to declare a specific contractor incompetent is just....funny). Navy contracts? Fuck yeah, we got that. IDIQ contracts, even. Boo-yah. Dubai? Oh, shit, we got stuff there. That palm island? We helped design that. Cha-ching!

My project in Kentucky just got stimulus funding to accelerate the destruction schedule. And, oh, are we spending it as fast as we can. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

[onager]

15. I'll join you on that bench!

:hi:

[lizerdbits]

10. Well let's see

I work on vaccine and antiviral studies most of which receive government funding. So I guess I'm shilling for Big Med since some GLP studies might result in human trials, Big Pharma for the antivirals, and Big Government due to the biodefense work.

Can I claim Big Chem? I order things from Sigma a lot. Plus we have flammable and corrosive things around.

[mr blur]

12. Big Yak, always

[realisticphish]

13. I am a tool of Big Pet

the pet industry lobbying group, PIJAC, also has a nice evil sound to it

[Djinn]

14. I work for a union covering health professionals

so I guess I'm a shill for the shills!

[Odin2005]

16. I'm a Biotech major, so MONSATAN, obviously!

:rofl:

[Codeine]

17. Toxins.

Evidently they are everywhere, absolutely ubiquitous. I have it on good authority that - even though they can't be named or quantified or detected - you're fucking crawling with that shit.

I'm going with Big Toxin! Join the winning team!

[semillama]

18. I'm an archaeologist

so naturally, my job consists of covering up all the evidence that America was once populated by aliens, lost tribes of Israel, Romans, Irish monks, Chinese warlords, Phoenicians, Egyptians, Africans, etc. etc., so on and so forth.

[muriel_volestrangler]

19. This is like the "M.O.D. Squad" lunches in "Thank You for Smoking"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thank_You_for_Smoking

:evilgrin:

Me, I'm in IT. But I suppose that means I was in the Evil Y2K Scare business.

[Iggo]

20. I'm an HVAC salesman/rep.

Doesn't sound too sinister, right?

Except I work for the brother of one of Nixon's most infamous cronies.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

21. I lobby for Big Slacker

We hold a monopoly over various sectors: trust fund kids, stoners, 4chan users, and the people who call each other "gay" in YouTube video comments.

[salvorhardin]

22. 4chan users are actual people?

I thought that was just where all the failed AI experiments hung out.

[Nevernose]

23. I work to make your children gay Muslim socialists

In other words, I'm a teacher.

[onager]

24. Mwa-ha-ha! My lobby bombed the moon this week!

We were one of the (many) contractors on LCROSS.

And as most sane people know, we didn't really bomb the moon:

"We just slammed something the size of a school bus into the moon going really fast. It was a lunar encounter of the hardest kind," says LCROSS team scientist Peter Schultz of Brown University...

Hm. Y'know, we could have accomplished the same thing by slamming Rush Limbaugh into the moon...

That's a good article, with a nice swipe at bonehead press-titutes. First they whipped up a frenzy about "bombing the moon," THEN they were disappointed that the impact wasn't more...exciting:

In a post-impact briefing Friday morning at NASA's Ames Research Center in Moffett Field, Calif., questioners expressed disappointment that the impacts hadn't thrown up a dramatic cloud over the moon's South Pole, noting the $79 million mission's goal was to create plumes of moon dust, hopefully filled with ice, for analysis.

"I think that's reporters just getting over-excited after writing about us 'bombing the moon,' the last few days," Schultz says. (I plead guilty.) "What we saw actually looks like one of the options we discussed and saw in lab experiments."

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/columnist/vergano/2009-10-09-nasa-lcross-moon_N.htm?csp=34

[TZ]

25. Oh I am really a shill now

I am wearing the free tshirt my company handed out that advertises the website they have which talks about the importance of influenza vaccines AND I just saw an ad for it on TV. Oh noes! Advertising vaccines! It's teh evul!;)