"The Therapeutic Voice" invites you to "The Awareness Retreat"

[realisticphish]

This is part of a flyer that was left on the bullitin board of my recently vacated workplace (all capitalizations are original):

Leave the world behind as you Re-create your life to Honor the Magnificent Truth of who you are!!
Joyfully Expand your Awareness, Nurture your Soul & Empower your life with Morgan Espe, as you experience these wondrous topics & more:
-Communication with the Animals & all of Creation.
-Energy Balancing & Emotional Release for you and your Animals
-Muscle Testing & Noticing... understanding your body's needs through yes/no responses
-Self Discovery - Uncover your true potential as you realize the magnificent, authentic ~ YOU!!
-V.I.P. - "Vibrational Intentional Perception"... Learning the Power of Intention
-Discovering nature's first aid kit & how to use it with Herbs & Aromatherapies.
-Learn how to tap into your Higher Power to access the answers to life's questions
-Take control of your own health & happiness for yourself & your loved ones - both 2 & 4 legged!
-Classes include applications for our human, equine, canine, and feline friends.

Only $475 for 2 nights at a YMCA camp called Camp Kern, in Oregonia, OH

They also offer Level One AND Two "Animal Communication & Healing Energy" Classes, for only $125 each! (unfortunately, we seem to have missed those earlier this fall)

What a steal!

Oh, they also have a monthly "The Gathering," where they "share wisdom, love, laughter, support, and friendship." Hilariously, it's at a Panera Bread (They advertise free admission).

Check out the site (http://www.theanimalsvoice.com/) for more hilarity

[charlie]

1. A bargain

Only 1/18th the price of dying in a sweat lodge.

[beam me up scottie]

2. I think you may have discovered your calling.

It's too easy to take advantages of woobots, they're practically BEGGING to be ripped off.

If you can find a way to disconnect your skepticism and ignore your conscience, you could be a quantamillionaire by this time next year.

I've always been able to communicate with animals, no woo involved because they're not telepathic, you just have to observe them and interpret what they're saying.
It freaks my boyfriend out - he thinks I've got some sort of special power.

Animals are easy to figure out, it's humans I've given up on.




On edit, I am fascinated by insects and spiders -ESPECIALLY spiders-so totally alien, no emotion, just instinct. IMO, they are the most brutal and efficient killers on the planet.


A spider wouldn't hesitate to suck a woo dry.:evilgrin:

[realisticphish]

6. seriously...

if I had no ethics, no problem at all. I know all the buzzwords, I know all the garbage they sling. I just wouldn't be able to go through with it.

[salvorhardin]

3. What!?

No discovering the true potential of our animals? What speciesist BS is this!? I'm telling you, it's this kind of crap that keeps my dog down. Now no one will know whether or not he's the next Mozart or Baryshnikov.

[mr blur]

4. I communicate with animals all the time.

He grants my every wish.

Because I've realized "the magnificent, authentic" ~ ME!!

Our cats, however, treat me with disdain. Maybe I should send them to a "Gathering"?

[realisticphish]

7. They just need a pet diode

http://www.theanimalsvoice.com/Our_Products2.html

After that, they will frolick on the astral plane with your mistik frenz!

btw, I have forgotten, does he have a name? Or is he the Mystic Fren?

[mr blur]

8. That's Yagpogo, All Blessings and Fresh Grass on Its Name. (nt)

[realisticphish]

5. But wait! There's more!

You can get a pet diode, which balances their polarity for only $20!

A tiny crystal that does something unspecified for only $45!

A stick-on diode, which can go on cellphones for "protection," at the low, low price of $30!

http://www.theanimalsvoice.com/Our_Products2.html

[Silent3]

9. This is some of the most painful woo I've seen in a while.

It makes me laugh, it makes me sad, it makes me want to gag, all at the same time.