Oh, this is fun

[lazarus]

This was posted in the Mod Lounge by Kerrytravelers. We thought y'all would enjoy it.

http://missinguniversemuseum.com /

Evolution Test
Students, give this test to your teachers. When they fail it, ask them why they are teaching this nonsense!

Teachers, give this test to your students if you really want them to know the truth about evolution!

1. Which evolved first, male or female?
2. How many millions of years elapsed between the first male and first female?
3. List at least 9 of the false assumptions made with radioactive dating methods.
4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?
5. Which came first:
...the eye,
...the eyelid,
...the eyebrow,
...the eye sockets,
...the eye muscles,
...the eye lashes,
...the tear ducts,
...the brain's interpretation of light?
6. How many millions of years between each in question 5?
7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?
8. List any of the millions of creatures in just five stages of its evolution showing the progression of a new organ of any kind. When you have done this, you can collect the millions of dollars in rewards offered for proof of evolution!
9. Why is it that the very things that would prove Evolution (transitional forms) are still missing?
10. Explain why something as complex as human life could happen by chance, but something as simple as a coin must have a creator. (Show your math solution.)
11. Why aren't any fossils or coal or oil being formed today?
12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body.
13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?
14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?
15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?

[Goldom]

1. Sounds like a good quiz, let's see...

1. That doesn't make any sense.
2. That doesn't make any sense.
3. Dunno, but I bet you're the one making false assumptions.
4. Because that doesn't make any sense.
5. No idea, but pretty sure scientists could tell you.
6. Ibid.
7. Because that doesn't make any sense.
8. That doesn't make any sense.
9. They aren't.
10. That isn't a mathematical question. Nor is evolution chance.
11. They are.
12. There aren't 50. So what?
13. Because there's no such thing, given that no proof is enough for such people.
14. It isn't.
15. Because that doesn't make any sense.

Yep.

[realisticphish]

2. ok, here we go

This was posted in the Mod Lounge by Kerrytravelers. We thought y'all would enjoy it.

http://missinguniversemuseum.com /


Evolution Test
Students, give this test to your teachers. When they fail it, ask them why they are teaching this nonsense!

1. Evolution is a process over hundreds and thousands of generations; once does not just "evolve" one day

2. ....What?

3. I will when you will

4. Why hasn't God miricled dinosaurs back into existance?

5. Light sensitive cells, I would imagine. So, maybe the last one? Though it's unrelated to the others, really

6. Irrelevant

7. How do you know? You ever fucked a monkey?
But seriously, because DNA mutates. For a long time after evolutionary splits, species can mate with each other (lions and tigers, horses and donkeys, humans and neandertals )

8. Soft organs don't fossilize, jackass

9. All animals are transitional forms. We are transitional forms between early hominids and whatever we evolve into. Species are arbitrary cutoffs; life evolves continuously

10. First, this is irrelevant to evolution. But assuming you're hinting at "evolution=chance," natural selection is the OPPOSITE of chance. The only random aspect of evolution deals with genetic mutations. The rest is highly controlled by animal behavior

11. Uh, they are. They just take a long-ass time to form

12. List 50 sets of nostrils in the human body. That makes equal sense to your question

13. Why haven't you collected any of the millions of pieces of evidence for evolution?

14. By what standard? There is no magic fire marshall-defined room limit for the earth. Shit happens, animals die. Ice age, comet, BP

15. HAHAHAHAHAHA

[SemiCharmedQuark]

3. Oh man...I would laugh in the face of anyone that gave this to me.

This one probably gets to me the most:

"Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?"

Because it shows the author doesn't even have the faintest shadow of a notion about what evolution is.

[LeftishBrit]

4. Blimey

Evolution Test

1. Which evolved first, male or female?

This doesn't make sense - especially as 'evolution' doesn't happen in a day.

There are plenty of organisms that reproduce asexually, or without clearly differentiated genders - so reproduction and hence evolution does not depend on there first being 'male' and 'female'.

2. How many millions of years elapsed between the first male and first female?

Makes no sense.

3. List at least 9 of the false assumptions made with radioactive dating methods.

Don't know, but suspect that it's the creationists who are making false assumptions?

4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?

One would not expect them to re-evolve in precisely the same form, especially given environmental changes. Certainly some modern species have a lot in common with some extinct species.

In any case, why haven't any extinct creatures been *re-created* after millions of years (or thousands, given that creationists think that the world is only 6000 years old)?


5. Which came first:
...the eye,
...the eyelid,
...the eyebrow,
...the eye sockets,
...the eye muscles,
...the eye lashes,
...the tear ducts,
...the brain's interpretation of light?


I don't know; but assume that embryologists and evolutionary biologists would be able to answer this. I would also assume that none of these evolved in an 'all or nothing' way. Certainly, this is true with regard to the brain's interpretation of light: a relatively primitive part of the brain, the superior colliculus, with some limited visual perceptual capacities, evolved long before the much more sophisticated visual cortex.

6. How many millions of years between each in question 5?

Makes no sense, especially in view of the 'not all or nothing' issue.

7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?

Because species differentiated progressively with time. Closely-related species *can* mate with each other (e.g. horses and donkeys though the offspring are infertile; dogs and wolves).

8. List any of the millions of creatures in just five stages of its evolution showing the progression of a new organ of any kind. When you have done this, you can collect the millions of dollars in rewards offered for proof of evolution!

This would be difficult, as soft organs don't fossilize.

9. Why is it that the very things that would prove Evolution (transitional forms) are still missing?

?? They aren't. Or is the question simply about transitional forms between our primate ancestors and humans? In that case, they are not alive *now*, but there is a lot of fossil evidence for them.


10. Explain why something as complex as human life could happen by chance, but something as simple as a coin must have a creator. (Show your math solution.)

This isn't maths. We don't assume that a coin must have a creator because of its complexity, but because we *know* that people make coins and how they do it. There are other simple objects (e.g. pebbles) that don't have creators. In any case, evolution does not happen *by chance*.

11. Why aren't any fossils or coal or oil being formed today?

They are. Fossilization doesn't happen in a day either.


12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body.

There are not 50. In any case, this does not disprove evolution. Certain organs might have evolved and served a purpose long ago, even if they are not currently useful in the human body (e.g. the appendix does play a part in the digestive system of some animals). If these organs are not actively disadvantageous, then there is no special reason why they should disappear through evolution, as there will be no selective advantage to those who do *not* have them.

13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?

Because those who would provide the millions will always shift the goalposts as to what constitutes 'proof'. And why hasn't anyone successfully proved creationism?

14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?

It isn't - quite the opposite. In any case, why would it need to be? The question reminds me of a 7-year-old boy's reply when asked how many people live in Oxford: "Infinity - because there are always new people being born!" Living things die as well as getting born, so the fact that life began hundreds of millions of years ago does not mean that living creatures should by now have colonized all areas of the earth.


15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?

Why should it have? Especially as natural selection involves adaptation to particular environments. A polar bear is readily camouflaged in a snowy environment. Its white colour would not give it the same advantage in Australia.


What a depressing mindset produced all those questions.

[salvorhardin]

5. Ark Web Ministries

This website is one of many operated by Ark Web Ministries. Check out the inanity: http://www.google.com/search?q=Ark+Webs+Ministries

Notice they also offer "Christian Web Hosting". I wonder if you need to pray that your website will stay up from day to day or if you just have to accept it on faith? One almost wants to buy hosting from them and then put up a fetish porn site cross linking to all of their other websites. http://www.arkwebs.com

[Kerrytravelers]

6. Hold on to your hats, folks. Here is their explination of what evolution is:

No, I'm not making this up. It came from the actual website. http://missinguniversemuseum.com/Reward.htm
If we can prove this, then we get that million dollar reward. :rofl:


Now, I'm not scientist. But I'm not a creationist christian, either. However, is shown a picture of a horse with wings or the evolution of man... sorry, horsey, but sticking wings on you in five generations is just... :crazy:

[TZ]

7. OMG!!!

Thats waaay too funny!! SyFy needs to employ these people STAT! Thats more creative then anything they do! :rofl:

[LeftishBrit]

9. Wow...

Why didn't they include some flying pigs while they were at it?

[Deep13]

13. That explains the origin of horse flies! nt

[conscious evolution]

14. In seventh grade

I used horses as an example of evolution for a report in my science class.
TMALSS,as one goes back in time horse fossils get smaller and smaller.My hypothesis was that as predators got bigger they killed off the smaller ones while the larger ones were able to outrun them.
Got an A+ for the report.
Also spent the rest of the year being terrorized by the fundies in my school for daring to refute the bible.

[laconicsax]

8. I know! I know! I know!

1. Neither. God created men and women at the same time, then created women second.
2. The Earth isn't old enough for millions of years to have elapsed.
3. That they work, that the Bible isn't true, that we know the original amount of atoms, that decay rates remain constant over time, that God didn't create things already in a state of decay, that decay even happens, that carbon-14 isn't created or added to a dead body, that Satan isn't testing us, and that godless scientists can be trusted.
4. Because evolution is false.
5. All were created at once in God's perfect creation.
6. See #2
7. Because we didn't evolve. We were created that way because God doesn't want different kinds to mix.
8. False premise, only God can create a new organ.
9. Because evolution is false.
10. It can't the Bible clearly says that humans are the intentional creation of a loving God.
11. Because they were all created at the same time by God and He hasn't made any more.
12. There aren't any, we are God's perfect creation.
13. Because evolution is false.
14. Because life didn't begin millions of years ago--only thousands as the Bible says.
15. Because only God can create life. Evolution is a lie.

What do I win?

[Orrex]

10. "13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?"

I believe the answer is Kent Hovind (aka Dr. Dino), the zealot who issued this dubious challenge, offers a paltry $25,000 to anyone who can prove evolution to Hovind's satisfaction. Sure, he claims that he'll have the "proof" evaluated by a panel of independent judges, but he refuses to reveal who they are, so it's widely assumed that he himself is the only judge.

Additionally, Hovind has been in jail since 2006 and will likely remain there for another six years for a host of criminal actions. If nothing else, you have to admire a man of conviction.

Especially when that conviction results in 10 years in the big house.


Anyway, as noted elsewhere, his criteria for "proving" evolution are intentionally unmeetable, so that any effort to "prove" it to him is doomed to fail regardless of the veracity of the claim.

Additionally, it has been suggested that Hovind considers Democracy to be evil, and the plastic anti-counterfeiting strips inside paper US currency are part of an elaborate tracking system by The Guvmint.


Anyway, he's loon. He's so loony, in fact, that he single-handedly disproves intelligent design, simply by existing.

[laconicsax]

11. I'm surprised more Christians don't think that democracy is evil.

Their god is the ultimate totalitarian dictator and their 'goal' of life is to spend eternity as a mindless slave to its whims.

[Deep13]

12. Okay...

"1. Which evolved first, male or female?"

The first organisms were (and are) too simple to have sexual differentiation. Once life became complex enough for that, males and females occurred at the same time. Obviously. Species evolve, not individuals.

"2. How many millions of years elapsed between the first male and first female?"

zero

"3. List at least 9 of the false assumptions made with radioactive dating methods."

You list them and allow actual scientists who are not merely guessing to explain why you are wrong. This is like saying you have a new knock-knock joke and asking the other person to start. Scientists who use radioactive dating are aware of the limits of the various testing methods and adjust their reading of the evidence accordingly.

"4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?"

Extinct creatures do not evolve because they have stopped fucking.

"5. Which came first:
...the eye,
...the eyelid,
...the eyebrow,
...the eye sockets,
...the eye muscles,
...the eye lashes,
...the tear ducts,
...the brain's interpretation of light?"

In which animal? Evolution is not a step-by-step process. Changes are continuous and there is no planned end result. So it's eye and nuerological preception of light first, all that other stuff came later since the first "eyes" were nothing more than a photosensitive spot on the surface of a unicellular critter.

"6. How many millions of years between each in question 5?"

Being educated in the humanities, I don't know the answer except to say that complex eyes on complex animals did not happen until some half a billion years ago.

"7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?"

Common ancestor? You want to screw your cousin don't you! Put a fish and a mosquito together and play Barry White music and see what happens.

"8. List any of the millions of creatures in just five stages of its evolution showing the progression of a new organ of any kind. When you have done this, you can collect the millions of dollars in rewards offered for proof of evolution!"

Really? Who is offering that reward? Because the reality of evolution has been conclusively established already. Actually, it can be demonstrated in one step. A human embryo starts off with gills and then loses them and develops lungs. These evolutionary steps are well established by actual biologists who know WTF they are talking about.

"9. Why is it that the very things that would prove Evolution (transitional forms) are still missing?"

They aren't. If they were, it would only prove that we are not very good at finding fossils. The present state of life proves evolution. In fact evolution has held up as the only possible explanation no matter what angle one approaches it. Whether it is geological, genetic, dispersion of similar forms over geography, the specific anatomy of life forms, behavior of animals or what, evolution is always verified as the only possible answer. As it is, there are enough transitional life forms, living and fossilized to prove the case many times over.

"10. Explain why something as complex as human life could happen by chance, but something as simple as a coin must have a creator. (Show your math solution.)"

Human life did not happen by chance. It was the result of a deternimative, but unintelligent process where random changes that are not helpful to survival are killed. We see the successes of evolution living in the world. We do not see the mountains of failures. For a coin, the pictures and writing tend to give away its human origins.

"11. Why aren't any fossils or coal or oil being formed today?"

They are.

"12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body."

Why? Anyway, many of them can be found in a developing embryo. There's also the sinus drainage holes that are situated for a horizontal animal. There's the up-hill digestive tract. There's our undersized lumbar region designed for a four-footed critter. There's our backward-wired eyes. There's the tendancy to suddenly awake if we dream about falling (so we don't fall out of the tree.) In other animals, there are the vestigial back legs of a whale as one clear example. One creationists, I point to eyes, ears and higher brain functions as useless.

"13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?"

Establish that there are millions of dollars of rewards for proving evolution. If real, I suspect they are offered by religious groups who will never allow themselves to admit that their iron age mythology is false.

"14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?"

It's not.

"15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?"

Why would it? The question indicates a profound failure to understand how evolution works. If that happened it might lend some creadence to divine direction. Since changes are random and there is no overall plan for how critters are supposed to turn out. Also, conditions that direct natural selection are different all over the world and favor different adaptations. Why are there no penguins in SE Asian jungles? They are adapted for a different environment.