I've been robbed of my right to experience lock-jaw!

[Deep13]

I've just been tag-teamed by Big Pharma and Big Medical to take away my right to experience lock-jaw for myself. It's necessary to suffer sometimes to build character and to fully understand what it means to be human! Who are they to deprive me of the rare opportunity to contract a lethal disease?! What's worse is that they also took away my right to have whooping cough and diptheria too!

I was at a local branch office of some snake-oil, fly-by-night company called "The Cleveland Clinic" when a doctor coerced me into agreeing to getting pumped full of mercury. She hide behind a venire of concern and ambushed me with high-pressure tactics. She set me up with, "I see your last tetnus shot was in 2001," only to finish off my free will with, "Would you like one while you are here?" What could I say? I was trapped! So, after waiting in terror, a nurse entered causing a horrific injury to my shoulder that required a one-inch bandage to stop the bleeding. Then she dropped the bomb. "There might be a little soreness." Goddamn them!

Well, at least I can enjoy autism now.

[TZ]

1. LOL

That arm soreness is worse than being waterboarded...How dare they tell you about it too...I mean they are supposed to keep all that stuff secret you know, so that you think you are dying and will return for more expensive medical treatments!! Those damn ijits at the whatsewhosit Clinic something? Isn't that some fly by night FDA shill department? ;)

[Deep13]

3. I miss diptheria already! nt

[laconicsax]

2. You need to share your story with the world.

http://vaers.hhs.gov/esub/index

Get to it!

ETA: Don't feel that you can't embellish your story. After all, no one's going to check on it.]/i]

[Heddi]

4. what assholes

how dare they

i bet they injected it in your muscle huh

bastards

[onager]

5. Proof of conspiracy! The bastids just got me too!

Last Friday at Kaiser. (Kaiser...KAISER...why is my HMO named for a TOTALITARIAN PRUSSIAN WARLORD? He started WWI, you know. Because he went crazy after he got syphillis from a vaccination. I never believed the Official Story that he had sex with Al Capone.)

Scary! They tried to lull me with the same fake concern for the "soreness," and I also got a big one-inch bandage after. They gave me some kind of pneumo-bla-bla thingamajig.

Clearly we have both been innocent, unwilling dupes in a secret Big Pharma secret drug test. I'm going to HuffPo and find out all the facts, soon as I finish kicking these giant pink-and-green lizards out the door.

[LeftishBrit]

6. Let us know when you go into spontaneous combustion!

[realisticphish]

7. how dare they

STAB you. DId you knoW that stabbing can KILL?????

[dropkickpa]

8. Craps!

I am due for mine! I totally forgot! I bet it's the mercury poisoning stealing my mind!! They're gonna steal MY rights too! Those bastards!

[trotsky]

9. Hehe

Nice. :)

[mr blur]

10. Appalling! I blame that commie Obama

for taking away your basic freedoms to enjoy the diseases enjoyed by your Founding Fathers!

[MountainLaurel]

11. Cracking me up

Although it reminds me that I'm probably due for my tetanus soon.

[Deep13]

12. Now they've taken away my right to post operative agony and sepsis!

Well, I had a tooth out today. It hurt when the Novocaine wore off. But it could have hurt a lot more like mother nature intended if the dentist had not insisted I take a narcotic pain reliever! Hey if we are supposed to loose our teeth as we get older, then we should accept that. We should not try to lessen the natural suffering it causes with completely artificial chemicals like opiates. Also, I don't want my immune system to atrophy by propping it up with some artificial chemicals like penicillin! It's perfectly normal to have post operative fever after an extraction and to die from a perfectly preventable condition!



Huh?...It is? Really? Huh.



I've just been told by some big pharma brain-washing victim that off the three chemicals I listen, only the Novocaine is artificial. Apparently penicillin is made from bread mold and opiates come from a plant. I'm sure this is just another way for big pharma to invent a disease for them to treat.