"But I'm immune to rattlesnake venom!"

[onager]

Animal woo-woo! I've been out of work with a bad cold , and wasted some time watching the Animal Planet show "Fatal Attractions."

So I might as well bore all of you with some ranting about it. As noted below, this is sort of on-topic, since I hear the SAME DAMN ARGUMENTS right here on DU that I've been hearing on this show.

"Fatal Attractions" covers such people as the guy who had a 500-lb. tiger living in his Harlem apartment; the woman (almost my neighbor!) who shared her trailer with 10 very poisonous snakes, a couple of them illegal to even THINK about owning in Los Angeles; and the sweet little old lady who took up the hobby of feeding the wild bears in her back yard.

The snake-lady show was rather cheekily titled "Snakes In A Trailer." As a bonus, it included an Einsteinian gent in Florida who kept a houseful of poisonous snakes, including a pet king cobra. Its bite can kill an elephant.

There is a common theme running thru this show. One that I hear all the time in DU, especially in places like the Health, R/T and the Seekers On Mundane Paths forums.

That common theme is - "I'm SPeSHUL!" In this case - "I have a SPeSHul bond with the animals! They like me, they REALLY REALLY LIKE me!"

Funny thing is - all these people who had fatal/near-fatal run-ins with their "pets" had been around these dangerous critters for years, and touted themselves as experts.

e.g., Cobra-Man. When the cobra bit him, he didn't call 911, because "it didn't hurt. I just washed my hand and put on a bandage." A half-hour later, when his limbs started going numb, he tried to call 911...but by then his vocal cords were paralyzed and he couldn't speak. Or hold the telephone.

A neighbor found him just in time, cheating the world out of a really good Darwin Award.

The real experts noted (paraphrased): "Cobra venom is a neurotoxin. It causes slow paralysis. Everybody who works with cobras knows that. If he was keeping one in a cage beside his bed, he certainly should have known it."

Trailer-Lady was bitten by a Gaboon Viper, which she had to purchase illegally. The cops who found her - 3 days after she died - thought an intruder had beaten her to death with a baseball bat. Blood everywhere. That snake kills with a hemotoxin, which de-coagulates the blood and causes the victim to bleed from every bodily orifice.

That woman had already been bitten by her pet rattlesnakes several times. And - I have to emphasize this - had convinced herself that she was immune to snake venom.

Real Expert: "Snakes can control the amount of venom injected, and often give a human a 'dry bite,' with little or no venom. That doesn't mean the human is immune. It means the snake is sending a serious warning to stop provoking it."

But again, the woman had collected poisonous pets since childhood. She was just a few class hours away from becoming an accredited animal handler at the Los Angeles Zoo, where she was very well respected as a snake expert.

According to her friends and relatives: "She believed her snakes were her friends." "She free-handled her snakes every day and thought they had feelings for her." "She couldn't imagine one of HER snakes would ever hurt her..."

Boring, non-Wooish real expert: "Snakes may appreciate being fed, but they do not EVER develop any sort of 'feelings' for humans. Their brains are about the size of a walnut. They don't have the capacity for human emotions."

The Bear-Lady episode is on next week, but I've seen the previews. Quote from a neighbor: "She said, 'Oh, the bears would never hurt ME!'"

:banghead:

[charlie]

1. My bestest friend, the Gaboon Viper

Snakes! Holy shit. There's no critter too mean or ugly someone won't try to make his soulmate.

I remember Steve Irwin red and bawling when he found one of his crocs dead. Then, later frolicking with a bunch of them with his baby daughter under his arm like a football (or more like a savory 20lb ham). It was hard not to love Irwin, but goddamn, the man was an idiot.

I used to shudder seeing Michael Jackson dragging that chimp around. When chimps go berserk, they'll eat your face, fingers, and nuts, there isn't shit you can do about it. Mike Henry, one of the movie Tarzans, had to have his jaw stitched back together when Cheetah lashed out at him. And he was a former linebacker. (Some gruesome face mauling pics from Google image search)

Cripes, what's wrong with grooving with a housecat or parakeet? Can't get "ancient soul" cred unless you risk being lunch like Timothy Treadwell or crippled like Roy Horn?

What the hell... bring on the Bear Lady!

"Seekers On Mundane Paths".... :D:D:D

[realisticphish]

9. a friend of mine

was working in a psych lab with a primatologist, and happened to walk by a female chimp, which had always been perfectly nice to her. The chimp grabbed her arm through the cage, smashed her against it, and started to eat her hand. A male chimp in the same cage started attacking the other chimp, and shrieking, until a keeper ran in and fought her off with a high-pressure water hose. My friend needed severe reconstructive surgery, and still has limited use of her hand (as an aside, though, kudos to the surgeons; I didn't notice anything odd about her hands until she specifically told this story, and pointed out the scar tissue).

I remember this story whenever people say chimps are cute.

[charlie]

12. Yeee-ouch!

Gawd, that's freakin' awful.

Yeah, they're nasty, irritable little critters. Impossibly strong, too. There used to be roadshows where you could pay a fee and try to toss a chimp, or get tossed, out of a ring. They'd never lose, no matter how big the bruiser.

When I was a kid, you could mail order monkeys from ads in comic books. You'd get a scared witless little disease carrier who could be as ferocious as a badger if he needed to be. Reeeeally good idea. I guess we're just all kinds of stupid for anything "cute", especially if it's adorable in lederhosen.

[realisticphish]

13. i like monkeys

well, in THEIR habitat, not mine, and the only ape I like is the gibbon, for some reason. They seem more mellow

[TZ]

20. Uh I worked in a lab that did health testing on monkeys

Besides everyone's favorite infection Ebola (Zaire, Marburg) many monkeys also carry and sometimes shed the not troublesome to monkeys but deadly to human Herpes B virus. Yay! You know the book the Hot Zone about Ebola and the Reston strain they discovered in NOVA? My lab helped discover it. BTW, getting a Western Blot strip with bands that match the Ebola Zaire pattern (which happened a time or two) in a monkey sitting in a lab somewhere...ALways exciting...:crazy:

[realisticphish]

21. that's why

monkeys are better on the other side of the enclosure wall, or across several thousand miles of ocean (or at least with central america in the way)

In high school, I always wanted to do microbiology and work with the CDC. Not sure how that changed, but I think it had something to do with "hating biochem"

[Odin2005]

2. My god, people are so stupid.

:banghead:

[mr blur]

3. Did you see the movie "Grizzly Man"?

Guy thought he had a special relationship with the bears but the one that ripped him to pieces obviously didn't get the memo.

[TZ]

4. Real animal experts /zoologists tend NOT to keep

too many dangerous venomous animals as pets, because they understand the animals VERY well. Enough to know how dangerous they are. No one who keeps tons of venomous snakes is truly an expert in behavior, in this zoologist majors opinion-or at least has a death wish.

As for the bear lady, maybe someone should show the clip of the grizzly expert who was so confident in his knowledge of grizzlies that I'm sure his death by grizzly was a total shock to him.

[LeftishBrit]

5. Yet again, we may look to the cautionary verses of Hilaire Belloc

The Python, by Hilaire Belloc


A python I should not advise,
It needs a doctor for its eyes,
And has the measles yearly.

However, if you feel inclined
To get one (to improve your mind,
And not from fashion merely),

Allow no music near its cage;
And when it flies into a rage
Chastise it most severely.

I had an Aunt in Yucatan
Who bought a Python from a man
And kept it for a pet.

She died because she never knew
These simple little rules and few;--
The snake is living yet.




P.S. I wish *I* were immune to rattlesnake venom; it would make me better at tolerating statements by Tories and Republicans!

[SheilaT]

6. Some people just don't understand

the difference between truly domesticated animals, such as cats and dogs, and wild animals, such as tigers or wolves or chimps, or venemous snakes.

Even cats or dogs, which have been domesticated for thousands of years, sometimes turn on a human and can cause a lot of damage. Dogs more so than cats, and even discounting breeds which have a bad reputation or dogs which have been trained to be vicious, sometimes even a good pet can turn on humans. People who are stupid enough to keep venomous snakes or chimps or tigers or any other wild and dangerous animals do not deserve a lot of sympathy when something bad happens.

[Deep13]

7. Disneyworld mentality

Nature is here for my amusement and is perfectly safe.

[realisticphish]

11. see: "Into the Wild"

moron enters wilderness to be "closer to nature," with no supplies, no equipment, and no survival training. Moron dies. And I guess this is inspirational somehow?

[onager]

14. Don't get me started on that one...

...with no supplies, no equipment, and no survival training.

The real kicker, which the movie did not mention (but the book did):

when Moron sat down to die in that bus, he was only a couple of miles away from a fully-stocked "survival cabin." Quite a few of those are salted around the area, for hikers and hunters who get in trouble.

Of course, to know that, he would have needed an esoteric, high-tech piece of gear known as a "map."

That was amazing to me - he didn't even take a map and compass.

He believed Nature would show him the way.

Yep, it sure did.

[realisticphish]

15. plus

he ate a poisonous plant because it looked similar to a good-to-eat one in his book (why the hell would you risk it?), and he didn't bother to find out when and how high the river rose. As I recall, he didn't figure on the season, and got trapped behind a flooded river

that's the problem with so many of these types. They "love" nature, but they don't RESPECT it. THey see it as this symbiotic, "white man's burden"-esque thing which desperately requires our care to stay around. And, sure, it can use our help. But it can also kill us with one hand tied behind its back

[Warpy]

8. Oscar Brown said it best

On her way to work one morning
Down the path along side the lake
A tender hearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake
His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew
"Poor thing," she cried, "I'll take you in and I'll take care of you"
"Take me in tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

She wrapped him all cozy in a comforter of silk
And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk
She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived
She found that pretty snake she'd taken to had bee revived
"Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake

She clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful," she cried
"But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died"
She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight
Instead of saying thanks, the snake gave her a vicious bite
"Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven's sake
Take me in, tender woman," sighed the snake
"I saved you," cried the woman
"And you've bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die"
"Oh shut up, silly woman," said the reptile with a grin
"You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in"

Deep13 is right that it's the Disneyfication of the natural world. Most people have only seen "improved" parks where the wildlife mostly stays away from improved trails or "natural habitat" in zoos, people kept away from animals by barriers.

A lot of our fellow humans seem to prefer magical thinking to reality, the kind of magical thinking that keeps them in church and makes them believe they can be best buddies with creatures that are incapable of such feelings.

[realisticphish]

10. one episode of that show pissed me off, though

I keep reptiles (responsibly), and one ep with a guy who kept lizards was irritating. He let his monitors roam the apartment free (!), and we're talking 4 foot water monitors. I don't deny he was a goddamn idiot. Monitors can be mean motherfuckers, and their teeth lacerate; if they grab you and shake their head, it's like a chainsaw. Not to mention that they can have dangerous bacteria living in their mouths (as can any carnivorous lizard, for that matter).

Well, this guy got a small bite on the hand. He let it go untreated, and over a weekend got severe salmonella and died. And his lizards ate a large portion of him. And THAT'S the part that they dwelled on. Not the fact that what actually killed him was not using rubbing alcohol and anti-biotics. If a non-venomous reptile bites you, clean the wound and keep a close eye on it. If it gets infected, go to the doctor, or urgent care if you don't have health insurance. There, I just saved his life.

He's still an idiot, but the monitors didn't do anything particularly evil or wild, just nipped him, then ate the carrion that was there a few days later.

[Behind the Aegis]

16. I saw that one...gruesome!

A problem so many have is they "humanize" their animals; I know I do it with my puppies and I try to correct my behavior in that regards. I have seen several episodes and what amazed me was many of them actually were somewhat knowledgeable about the critters in their midst, but still acted like dumb asses. When I sit on the back porch and have a beer and smoke, I feed the stray kitties (I have become a kitty flophouse), but the food also has attracted two families of raccoons. I have actually watched three sets of kits grow to adulthood. When the raccoons come to eat I watch them and snicker at the cute noises they make...well, not all the time, sometimes they get huffy with each other. When they approach me to sniff the air, I don't move. They are cute and furry, especially when they are kits, but I know they are wild, so I don't mess with them. It is important to remember to respect nature.

[realisticphish]

17. right

the simple fact is that an individual wild animal can be tamed, not domesticated. And though you may never have a problem, the risk is always there...

my skink is mostly passive, but I still wear gloves when I handle him. He may not have huge teeth, but the risk is there, and I'm not going to trust a wild carnivore

[Behind the Aegis]

18. "the risk is always there"

And that is what people need to remember. If the 'coons start getting too friendly, then I tap a beer can, which usually causes them to move away. The funny thing is, I have even seen the large males chased off by kittens! Wild is wild, even if the animal is in close contact with humans on a regular basis.

[realisticphish]

19. ironically

I would think that social carnivores would be more likely to be predictable when tamed. Lions, wolves, etc.Find your place in the pack/pride, etc.

Not volunteering, though :D