Being overheard right now:

[laconicsax]

Here I sit in a coffee shop, listening to the guy sitting next to me make a lengthy sale pitch to some poor schmuck. The product? Some amazing new technology that stops and reverses the aging process on a genetic level.

OMFG this is fucking hilarious!!!!

Some high points as I hear them:

-TCM is proven because it's old.
-Tested on monkeys and they lived longer, healthier lives.
-"The genes shift, and the shift that they shift is responsible for aging."
-"This is a new form of science."
-Their product is going to be the next revolution in technology--like the integrated circuit.
-Ooh! It's a ground-floor investment opportunity.
-I feel bad for eavesdropping, but it's fairly quiet in here and they're talking loudly.
-It's starting to sound like pyramid selling.
-Guaranteed to reverse the degenerative effects of aging in one month.
-"I feel like I'm 18 years old because my DNA and my body have gone back to how they were when I was 18."
-Facial asymmetry means that it's working!
-I can't tell if it's a cream or pills or what...
-Ok, it's a face cream, and they're coming out with pills for the lungs and liver.
-"Our product was launched in 2001...acutally it was officially launched in 2010."
-"In 50 years, there are going to be two types of people: those who use this product and look and feel great, and people who don't, and look and feel old."
-Apparently it's a skin cream that also makes your brain work "better."
-And right on cue, "we're selling dreams--you can live your dreams."
-This really sounds like pyramid selling.
-The salesman is a "sponsor" of the client...
-You can make $3000 a month from an initial $150 investment.
-Something about $3 million in residual income in 8 months.
-Ok, here's the structure: you buy in, and sell to other people as their "sponsor," then you can become an "executive" an start raking in the cash!
-Something about what Forbes top 500 corporate execs earn.
-"3 parts to what we do: everything we do is good--it helps people. We're not Halliburton; we help people." "Creating a mountain system," "we have statistics." (There might not have been a third part and they just went to their 'statistics.')
-It's a different economic system that they're creating.
-I'm not sure, but I think they just took credit for smartphones and the Internet.
-"We're not here to sell you anything; we're here to show you a new way of life and a new economic system that helps people."
-"We've had 36 straight quarters of growth--that's 3 years where each quarter saw more than the one that came before-16 quarters!" (not a typo)

Ok, now they're scheduling an interview for the mark to get some sales leads.

This post brought to you by free wifi and an iPod Touch--the marvels of modern technology.

[salvorhardin]

1. "Facial asymmetry means that it's working!"

OMG! That product is so good that it works on even people who don't use it... because every single person on Earth has facial asymmetry. In fact, a person without any asymmetry to their face would look pretty darn weird to us.

In this image, the top photo is a normal photo of Bill Clinton, the bottom left photo is Bill Clinton with the left side of his face copied and mirrored in place of the right side, and the bottom right is the right side of his face copied and mirrored in place of the left.

From: http://www.upscale.utoronto.ca/PVB/Harrison/Parity/FaceStudy/FaceStudy.html

[onager]

2. Did you get the name of this miracle?

I'm wondering because here in Los Angeles, I'm hearing constant radio ads for some super-dooper anti-aging cream. Wonder if it's the same stuff.

One really annoying commercial has a guy saying: "I look at my wife now, and it's like looking at a picture of her 20 years ago!" (At which point, I hope his wife hit him upside the head with a frying pan. Or simply told him to Google "Clara Harris" and "Betty Broderick.")

I believe this is the same junk being touted as "completely natural using proven homeopathic scientific principles." Or something like that.

There are so many woo ads on the radio out here right now, I get them confused.

But I do enjoy the constant ads for the California Psychics Network, where all the psychics are tested to prove their powers...

[laconicsax]

3. I didn't.

I don't even know what it really was--they kept talking about "taking" the stuff and having it improve brain function, how they were coming out with products for the lungs and liver, then started describing a skin cream, but the container rattled when the mark picked it up.

I think it was more a pyramid scheme than an actual woo product. The descriptions of how it worked/what it did kept changing in significant ways.

[SheilaT]

4. The sad thing is that anyone would be sufficiently

ignorant to fall for any of this.

A FACE CREAM that changes DNA?

I'd also like a report on just how the person making the pitch actually looked.

[laconicsax]

5. I'm not sure what the product actually was.

It was something you "take," the bottle rattled a bit when moved, and there were references to using it as a skin cream. They also mentioned upcoming products for the lungs and liver. Sometimes they'd make reference to a pill and skin cream in the same sentence.

As to how they looked, both hucksters were white and generic-looking. One claimed to be 50, had good skin, and short grey/white hair. The other looked to be in his 30s, had a more defined facial features, but still good skin, and longer, wavy, dirty-blond hair. Both looked to be average weight, average build, and average height. The older guy was a bit shorter than the younger guy. The younger one claimed to feel 18, but he certainly didn't look it.