I can make the sun rise in the morning!

[laconicsax]

Using ancient techniques honed over several years, I can guarantee that the sun will rise in the morning. My method is sound:

At precisely 12:31 AM Pacific time, I say a special incantation, close my eyes, count to six, and take a sip of room-temperature water. Using this method, I have caused the sun to rise 16 of the last 17 mornings (excepting February 3rd, when I forgot to do it...it was dumb luck that it rose anyway).

I have found that while I is for the greater good that I continue this routine each night, I feel that it would be more appropriate if people started paying me to do it. A small donation is all I ask (payment may be made through my PayPal account, or you can PM me your name, credit card number, exp. date, security code, birth date, and social security number).

[DavidDvorkin]

1. Well, take really good care of yourself

Because if something happens to you, we'll all be in real trouble!

[laconicsax]

2. Is that a threat?

'cause if it is, your trouble may be just beginning!

[DavidDvorkin]

3. Keep this in mind:

I've been keeping the sun from going nova.

[laconicsax]

4. Touche

[trotsky]

5. LOL

Well played.

[Warpy]

6. A neighbor's rooster makes the sun rise around here

If they ever turn him into Sunday dinner, we'll be stuck in the dark forever.

[laconicsax]

7. Nope, it's me. That rooster doesn't say TRUE incantations.

It's a paradox though, that sham incantations are as effective as true incantations.