So, my daughter's pregnant

[lazarus]

19, finishing up high school, unmarried. Haele and I are adopting/taking legal guardianship for a few years so she can get through college and get established in a career.

To the point, on topic for this group: We've been discussing a couple of choices she'll have to make. First, circumcision. The father is all for it, she isn't. She soaked up my reasoning for not doing it (no medical purpose, genital mutilation, etc.), and put her foot down. Battle won.

Then we discussed vaccinations. She had never heard of the anti-vax movement. I told her a couple of their arguments, and she just looked at me for a second and then said it was the stupidest thing she had ever heard of, and her baby is most definitely getting all the vaccinations.

(The boy's father is a CT nut, btw. He won't be spending much time with the kid unsupervised, either.)

So I'm proud as can be of my skeptical, atheist daughter. Her fundie mother isn't too happy, but who cares what she thinks?

[trotsky]

1. Wow, laz.

Some amazingly rewarding and frustrating days lie ahead of you. I believe the former will exceed the latter - because it sure sounds like your daughter has a great head on her shoulders. Best wishes to you & your family.

[lazarus]

4. thank you, trotsky

She mostly has a good head on her shoulders, although now she's going to quit high school and get her GED. I kind of understand that; she's missed so much school from getting sick all the time, it'll be hard to catch up.

[LeftishBrit]

2. Best wishes to you and Haele, your daughter, future grandchild and all the family

[lazarus]

5. thank you, LB

much appreciated.

[realisticphish]

3. good luck

good on you for helping your daughter out like that. Shoving past all the bullshit, being a single mom and becoming successful is EXTREMELY challenging.

Though she's unmarried, does the boyfriend seem to be willing to stick around?

[lazarus]

6. so far, he's sticking around

the boy's father, however, is doing is best to keep them separated. Sort of a horse/barn door situation, if you ask me.

They intend to get married, but feel they're too young right now. She has (possibly) jokingly said they'll get married on 14 March, 2015. You know, the big Pi Day event. She's a math nut.

[realisticphish]

7. a very good attitude

IMHO, getting married that early in this day and age tends to end in divorce. Historically, sure, that's how things worked, but in our culture now people aren't expected to settle down, etc until in their late 20s.

[Stuckinthebush]

8. Dude!

Your daughter is 19 now? My how time flies....

Congrats grandpa!

[lazarus]

9. thanks, man

it's sooo weird.

[catchnrelease]

10. Here's some perspective

I was in a somewhat similar situation--19 and pregnant. I also had a supportive family and the 'boyfriend' was 28 and had a pretty decent job. We got married, I quit school until my daughter could go into the college day care center at 5yrs, when I went back to school and finished. Since my husband* was a serious workaholic, I feel like I mostly raised my daughter by myself, but with lots of help from my family. (*We divorced after 28yrs.)

My point is, even with some tough emotional times for me back then, I sometimes look back and ask myself (I'm now 60) if I have any regrets about the whole thing. My answer is a resounding NO. I have a 40 yr old daughter that I am very proud of, she has a great family and I have 3 amazing grand kids that I would die for. Of course everyone's life takes different tracks, so your daughter's will no doubt not be the same as mine. But, with your support and her wisdom, I bet she and her child will do alright. And there's not much that's more fun than being a grandparent. ;-)

[lazarus]

11. thank you

:hi: