gatekeepers for the wealthy...rant

[undergroundpanther]

Right now I am so pissed off sad and just exhausted.. I just need to vent here.

Ok. I am fat. For years docs have said the same old shit to me. Told me to go on a diet and exercise. FOR YEARS I have I dieted, I exercised, Once in frustration I ate NOTHING for a month. Just drank water.. than when I began to pass out,and some staff noticed and I was forced to eat again or go to the hospital(I was in residential housing).. Every time I saw state medical assistance docs they had no time to listen to me, they asked me no questions they were cold and quick and they just took my blood pressure put me on the scale with the sort of dehumanizing disdain that said they thought of me as a pig.They wrote a scrip and it was clear they wanted me in and out of their office quick,to collect their fees and go home.

So for years I went on all sorts of diets and exercised and I yo yo-ed. I went on weight watches and passed out in the weigh in line and they asked me to QUIt..Thier diet obviously was not working..I find I have more discipline with food and lifestyle than most normal weight people do.It just does not show.Because in this culture if you are fat it is your moral failure..The gluttonous SINNER..It's back to medieval Church theology time,and with fat all pretense to science gives way to bigotry so easily even in doctors..But you wouldn't know that unless you have been a FAT PERSON..
In desperation I went on Phen Phen (paid for this out of pocket too)but it was around the time people started having serious problems with it so as soon as I heard the recall I quit taking it.I went on atkins..And got nerve damage and QUIT it.. I have no damage luckily.
Still I am fat. I do not eat bread,I eat very little sugar mostly I eat fruit veggies and meats.I do portion control.My partner began to eat like me like 6 months ago and he has lost over 40 pounds.I have been eating this way for a year and weigh the same. Somethings fucked up here.

I have been on alot of different psych meds too. Some psych meds make you fat just by looking at the pills.I have PSTD that was misdiagnosed for years.I have taken intravenous antibiotics before So my body has been through some tough shit.

Well the doc I have that I consider a stroke of luck, she listened and she referred me to an endocrinologist.


This endocrinologist was local and when I made my intake appointment, she asked I keep a food diary and all.This doc was shocked--Shocked my lifestyle was so healthy.When I went to see her she WANTED TO TALK TO ME, She was INTERESTED in my situation,my symptoms,who I was.. She looked at my food diary and test results and said something is not right in your body, you seem to have a deep seated infection maybe, your weight issue is not from your lifestyle,you have a problem in your bodies functions and it is not what you do that is causing it.It could be a vitamin deficiency, It's not your fault.I had NEVER had a doctor listen to me like that and investigate my symptoms and history and care about my health before like her . She was actually CONCERNED about my health more than her time,ego or fee!

I almost broke down crying twice in her office and she reached across her desk and touched my hand out of compassion.Holy Shit!! She really felt for me! She said she loved my tattoos even! My mind was blown she was so warm and kind. We talked for over an hour! She said Don't you worry we will figure all this out,you will get better because I am not gonna let you go on like this.And I think the changes will be dramatic when things get better..I never felt so helped and hopeful after seeing a doctor in my life. And most awesome of all I didn't leave her office with yet another diet plan feeling like a pig.Instead I had orders for a shit load of investigative testing to get done.

Here is the kicker.. This kindhearted endocrinologist is not in my "MCO",Out of network. I can't see her anymore. I waited a month to be able to see her and when I do I can't continue to see her.

The state MA wants to play games. It wants to control who I see so some CEO can make money off of my misery. FUCK. With Medicaid The STATE pays the same damn fees for services rendered no matter WHO it is.I realized I do not matter as much as a bit more chump change going to a rich man's pocket who has more money that I will ever see in my lifetime.


So finding out this Dr. was Out of Network,I was crushed. That Monday,I was on the phone being passed back and forth from agency to agency as I worked my way up through the chain of command of gatekeepers and little Eichmann's barring my access to help.

It took over 4 hours.. I repeated my address SS# and other bullshit OVER and OVER sometimes for the same damn people..(why can't they just READ THEIR FUCKING COMPUTER SCREEN?).After 4 hours of this bullshit I finally got to talk to a person who could help me. I asked to change my MCO and behold I was told I get to change it..once a year a "right to change" ..My ass..I find out I can't change it when *I* need to because it isn't the right time of year according to some asshole wealthy as fuck CEO bubble boy who will NEVER have to go though this kind of bullshit to see a doctor to get well himself because he can pay some "professional service"help to do this shit for him and the doc serves his pampered ass pro bono AAAAARGH!.FUCK THEM ALL!

So seeing I really had NO right to change my MCO .And realizing this "right" was a total SHAM,and the arrogant little worker ant on the phone rubbed salt in the wound dutifully and told me to talk to my legislator about it.I wanted to reach through the phone line and claw her eyes out with a table fork..(fat chance some fucktard politician will even read whatever I wrote about my situation because fucktard politicians don't care about poor and disabled peoples lives). I asked this worker ant if there was anything else I could try.. She said I could set up a "complaint" to see if this jackass MCO company will let me see her and bend the rules a bit. 2 more hours on the phone...yadda yadda..

Anyways after I got the Complaint order.. I had to wait 48 hours until some of these thoughtless penny pinching bean counting greedy motherfucking pieces of inhumane shit made their decision to care about a "useless eater" like me, All night I hoped and dreaded I could not sleep. I fell asleep at dawn from exhaustion and at 8 am the worker ant called,I fell out of bed to snatch the phone I had a raging headache, the answer was just as I expected to hear from a greedy rich pig CEO, No,Not approved.. I was not getting a doc I knew I could work with...Again I am reminded expecting a sociopath company to care is futile. Nope..FUCKERS!!

I Hate them I hate hate hate...THEM ALL.Come march I am SWITCHING from this piece of shit MCO providing medical assistance still exists after the richest fattest greediest most sociopathic pigs in the nation who nEVER want and will never need,finish devouring the social safety net meant for this entire country.

I had fantasies of getting a shotgun and going to the MCO office after that richy rich bubble boy bean counter CEO fucker and forcing him at gunpoint to approve the doc who cared for me or have his brains splattered all over his mahogany designer desk expensive laptop,designer leather executive chair, $ 800 suit and that nice plush carpet..the kind of carpet I would never have in my house because I don't have any money to afford even a two foot patch of it.

Now I have to see an In network endocrinologist,my health be damned.. Today I called her,a name in a book, I made the appointment. It's for OVER a MONTH from now..

Why? Because it is the only time she had available.(in the back of my mind I wondered if I have some kind of deep infection like this other doctor suspected ,would sitting on my ass for a month and a half waiting to be seen for intake not be wise?)(Well my choice was made for me, not like I have any choice here..I have to wait and if the infection gets worse,ooh well) Either way the dice are flying again and I still feel like shit and I am scared I might get shit.

I'm still a fat cow, to most docs who are bigoted and don't care( tho not my fault I am told finally ).Will I get a good doc like this wonderful lady or another typical state MCO doc that is too busy, too self absorbed ,bigoted and too big of a shit head ..A doc who will not care to listen to me,won't bother to investigate and find out what is really wrong with me,a cold hearted impersonal fucker who will send me home with another fucking diet plan, a scrip in my hand, and tell me in their bigoted way I am to blame for my own suffering because I am a fat pig end of story.

I can't take anymore of this shit. And It drives me up a wall to realize million more are going through this CRAP too..So the rich can get more money out of our hides,Frankly the sooner these asshole CEO's begin to fear visits by tons of angry people with guns and torches setting up the guillotine with their names on it in the corporate lobby the sooner I will and millions of others will finally get access to decent health care.The rich pigs are this way because they do not fear us rising up into THEIR greedy faces for the sake of our own needs anymore.
Thanks for listening this time,DU.

[Dora]

1. Hi

Your story is a frustrating one. And yeah, medical organizations are frequently a freaking nightmare to deal with.

But wow, you have hope, eh? I mean, how wonderful you found that first endocrinologist who gave a damn, and she ran lab work too. Here's some unasked for advice: If you haven't already, ask for a copy of all your blood test results. Take a copy of those results along with you when you finally do get to see the MCO's preferred provider. That will save both you and the new doc the hassle and wait of more blood tests.

I hate to be a raining pollyanna on your frustration parade, but I think good will come of this, despite the hurdles you're experiencing now.

:hug:

[The Traveler]

2. My god!

This is obscene! For profit corporate managed medicine has become an atrocity.

I really hope your problem gets properly diagnosed and treated ... soon. This sucks so hard ...

[undergroundpanther]

4. Thanks traveler..

Yeah it sucks but everything suck because the people are not screaming for the shit to stop.The pigs feel safe robbing us all..

[The Traveler]

6. You diagnosis is correct.

We're gonna have to hit the streets before this whole nightmare is through.

[TransitJohn]

3. Awesome rant.

I wish you the best of luck, and I totally agree with you about for profit health care. Nominated.

[undergroundpanther]

5. Thanks for the nomination

really.

[Sugarbleus]

7. Sorry I missed this rant earlier...it's a keeper..

Right now I am so pissed off sad and just exhausted.. I just need to vent here.

Ok. I am fat.So am I For years docs have said the same old shit to me. Told me to go on a diet and exercise. FOR YEARS I have I dieted, I exercised, Once in frustration I ate NOTHING for a month. Just drank water.. than when I began to pass out,and some staff noticed and I was forced to eat again or go to the hospital(I was in residential housing).. Every time I saw state medical assistance docs they had no time to listen to me, they asked me no questions they were cold and quick and they just took my blood pressure put me on the scale with the sort of dehumanizing disdain that said they thought of me as a pig.They wrote a scrip and it was clear they wanted me in and out of their office quick,to collect their fees and go home. I wrote about this in another forum. I called it drive by docterin'. You got a problem? You want to express yourself to them? Cry? Rant? whatever?...they say 'sorry bout that', lose the weight/cholesterol/whatever anyway..........NEXT!

So for years I went on all sorts of diets and exercised and I yo yo-ed. I went on weight watches and passed out in the weigh in line and they asked me to QUIt..Thier diet obviously was not working..I find I have more discipline with food and lifestyle than most normal weight people do.It just does not show.Because in this culture if you are fat it is your moral failure..The gluttonous SINNER..It's back to medieval Church theology time,and with fat all pretense to science gives way to bigotry so easily even in doctors..But you wouldn't know that unless you have been a FAT PERSON.. I GET IT! I'm getting pretty intolerant of the "FAT" mime seen everywhere. Gone are the days when docs would take as long as it took to TALK with you, get to know you AND your family, find out what's going on with you, show some compassion and try to help you in a meaningful way, if necessary

In desperation I went on Phen Phen (paid for this out of pocket too)but it was around the time people started having serious problems with it so as soon as I heard the recall I quit taking it.I went on atkins..And got nerve damage and QUIT it.. I have no damage luckily.
Still I am fat. I do not eat bread,I eat very little sugar mostly I eat fruit veggies and meats.I do portion control.My partner began to eat like me like 6 months ago and he has lost over 40 pounds.I have been eating this way for a year and weigh the same. Somethings fucked up here.No shit! same here too. My S.O. just stops eating a few meals cuz he "isn't hungry" and loses 20 lbs just like that!! Me? NO WAY. Zip, zero, nadda. SOMETIMES meds we take cause the weight retention, sometimes it's hormones, but whatever it is, I wish to HELL that others would leave us the fuck alone. It's hard enough as it is!


Well the doc I have that I consider a stroke of luck, she listened and she referred me to an endocrinologist. VERY LUCKY, good to hear that


This endocrinologist was local and when I made my intake appointment, she asked I keep a food diary and all.This doc was shocked--Shocked my lifestyle was so healthy.When I went to see her she WANTED TO TALK TO ME, She was INTERESTED in my situation,my symptoms,who I was.. She looked at my food diary and test results and said something is not right in your body, you seem to have a deep seated infection maybe, your weight issue is not from your lifestyle,you have a problem in your bodies functions and it is not what you do that is causing it.It could be a vitamin deficiency, It's not your fault.I had NEVER had a doctor listen to me like that and investigate my symptoms and history and care about my health before like her . She was actually CONCERNED about my health more than her time,ego or fee!FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! Got me thinking about stuff now too

I almost broke down crying twice in her office and she reached across her desk and touched my hand out of compassion.Holy Shit!! She really felt for me! She said she loved my tattoos even! My mind was blown she was so warm and kind. So rare and SO precious. My sister has found a couple docs who are treating her like a human being..I'm encouraged.

Here is the kicker.. This kindhearted endocrinologist is not in my "MCO",Out of network. I can't see her anymore. This happened to me with my therapist because I use MEDICARE w/medicaid. I couldn't see her anymore and she was wonderful

The state MA wants to play games. It wants to control who I see so some CEO can make money off of my misery. FUCK. With Medicaid The STATE pays the same damn fees for services rendered no matter WHO it is. Welllll, I just read about the proposed "revamping" of Medicaid for my state and others. Doctors will leave and we will be "virtually" unisured AGAIN. Thank you FASCIST PIGS AMERICANA!


It took over 4 hours.. I repeated my address SS# and other bullshit OVER and OVER sometimes for the same damn people..(why can't they just READ THEIR FUCKING COMPUTER SCREEN?)Gawd, I know what you mean! I use a clinic and each time I go in there's a possibility that I'll see a different doc. I go in, they pull my chart YET they want ME to repeat to THEM what I'm taking, what my problems are etc. I ask, don't you guys have all that shit right there in my chart? What a dehumanizing and pathetic way to run patient care .

After 4 hours of this bullshit I finally got to talk to a person who could help me. I asked to change my MCO and behold I was told I get to change it..once a year a "right to change" ..My ass..I find out I can't change it when *I* need to because it isn't the right time of year according to some asshole wealthy as fuck CEO bubble boy who will NEVER have to go though this kind of bullshit to see a doctor to get well himself because he can pay some "professional service"help to do this shit for him and the doc serves his pampered ass pro bono AAAAARGH!.FUCK THEM ALL! Geez, what a clusterfuck!

So seeing I really had NO right to change my MCO .And realizing this "right" was a total SHAM,and the arrogant little worker ant on the phone rubbed salt in the wound dutifully and told me to talk to my legislator about it.I wanted to reach through the phone line and claw her eyes out with a table fork..(fat chance some fucktard politician will even read whatever I wrote about my situation because fucktard politicians don't care about poor and disabled peoples lives). You are so right. I write to reps but do I get a response to my "specific" message? HELL NO


No,Not approved..That's a goddamed shame for sure

>>finish devouring the social safety net meant for this entire country. MY FEAR too...not looking good is it.

I had fantasies of getting a shotgun and going to the MCO office after that richy rich bubble boy bean counter CEO fucker and forcing him at gunpoint to approve the doc Reminds me of that movie with Denzel Washington and his sick kid needing a transplant? Ever see it? I get pretty worked up just like that myself. I often avoid going to places that I know will provoke me for just that reason. Very frustrating Panther, I understand


I can't take anymore of this shit. I couldn't agree with you more. I fantasize about people rising up too. This country is too divided ideologically, PLUS it's a HUGE landmass to conquer in one fell swoop. Maybe if we were the size of England or Norway, we could pull it off. I don't know what the answer is but if someone comes up with one, SIGN ME UP!

Thanks for listening this time,DU. Great Rant from a REAL PERSON's experience...not just a "statistical report". I hope things eventually turn around for you medically. My Very Best Wishes to you 'Panther...SB :hug: