Shattering the taboo of mental illness

[Doondoo]

Less than 12 hours after they lost their son to suicide last year, Eric and Trudy Garland found themselves writing his obituary at a funeral home. They were devastated but knew what they wanted to do. They described in the obituary how Brandon, a senior at McFarland High School, had struggled for years with depression.

"We didn't know any other way but to tell the truth," said Eric Garland, 43.

Mental health advocates say the Garlands are part of a positive societal shift in which more families are openly addressing mental illness in the obituaries of loved ones. By doing so, the advocates say, these families are helping to demystify an often taboo subject and are laying the groundwork for greater public support of treatment, research and insurance coverage.

"It's an indication that this is not a condition or a set of conditions that is hopelessly shameful," said Stephen Hinshaw, chairman of the psychology department at the University of California- Berkeley and author of "The Mark of Shame: Stigma of Mental Illness and an Agenda for Change."

Fifty years ago, few people mentioned cancer in obituaries because the illness was not widely understood and dying from it was considered somehow ignoble, Hinshaw said. The same thing occurred with AIDS in recent decades, and now mental illness is following that same arc from silence to acknowledgement, he said.



http://www.madison.com/wsj/mad/top/index.php?ntid=119488

[Deja Q]

1. Mental illness is the most debilitating of them all.

The curiosity and convoluted nature of the brain.

I have my own issues; the core being Asperger's Syndrome, which ultimately led to anxiety and depression due to a less than stable environment... that's all I care to say about it right now.

It has also led to misunderstandings, which I took the wrong way. But incidents which they had taken the wrong way as well. In a sitcom, it would almost be funny.

I am afraid of people due to a build-up of "less than savory" past experiences... but want to socialize anyway - I just haven't found the right people yet. So I go out. I look frightened. People home in on this, and not in a good way. The net result is not pretty. If only they wondered WHY I am so frightened rather than playing it up for their own benefit. I also wonder if they're closet Republicans, but nobody's perfect...

Note: I also gave the right answer to the wrong question...

[kestrel91316]

9. I think I will understand your (sometimes annoying) posts a whole

lot better knowing you have Asperger's, HypnoToad....................

[flaliberal]

2. The subject is being talked about more and more.

This month, in an area magazine, a retired football player discussed
his battle with depression.

[hashibabba]

3. Thank goodness its being discussed more openly, but it

still has a long way to go. Even people on DU make comments about taking the medications that are many times so important for those of us who suffer from bipolar/depression/anxiety and other mental problems. If you're properly medicated (hopefully from a qualified psychiatrist and not your local GP), you just feel *like your old self* and not drugged or out of it.

I failed to get help for many years, because of the stigma. What a different life I would have had. Still, I got help at 40 and that leaves the latter half my life much better than it would have been.

Many conservative Christians think you shouldn't need medications, too. People like this make the problem much worse.

And Of course you all know our soldiers aren't getting help for their mental problems, of which Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is the worst.

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. I am married to one of those kinds of Christians. It can be hard sometimes

because he is not always supportive. Not just of my mental health battles but physical ones too. Just not a sensitive guy in those areas. He never sees a doc so no one else should have to either, kind of deal.

[hashibabba]

5. I'm sorry you have to go through that. It's hard enough without

someone who discourages you from using science to get yourself better. I hope you find some way to get yourself the help you need. Let me tell you, it is WELL worth it to get the help. I learned better coping techniques and learned to correct my thinking to more positive thinking. Sicence even agrees that it is important. But I couldn't do any of that until they got my medications right.
Keep trying and don't give up!

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. Thanks. He does not actively prevent me in any way from

getting help. He just sorta exudes a negative attitude about it all, which gets a big WHATEVER from me.

I am supposed to try Tegretol, the next in a long line of field scary meds. Not sure what I will do if this one is a dud as well. I refuse to take Depakote or Lithium. Just too much for me.

[hashibabba]

7. I've taken Depakote and Tegretol. For the past several years

I've been taking Zyprexa for a mood stabilizer. I hate it because it can make your blood sugar go crazy. But it does help you sleep if you take it at night.

It took what seemed like an eternity for them to get my meds right (actually it was probably less than a year). Its just a trial and error type thing. You have to be patient (easier said than done), but once they get you on whatever helps you most, it's really amazing.

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. I am verrry heavy so Dep is out. And with my

colitis my internal water levels change often, so lithium looks too scary toxicity-wise.

I am hoping Tegretol will help me with the sleeping and act as a mood stabilizer. I hang out in the depressed and hypomanic zones more than true mania, so I will be looking to add something on for the depression later. But I am pinning my hopes to the Tegretol for sleep and slowing down the racing thoughts. *crossing fingers* (Cymbalta was great for the physical pain but it made me rapid cycle, as did Prozac and a few other depression meds. Lamictal gave me a rash. Geodon made me so weak and sleepy I could not function. PLease, Lord, let the Tegretol be the one! LOL)

[hashibabba]

15. I hope Tegretol is the one for you! I know they all helped me

with my racing thoughts, although I occasionally still get a mini-high and they come back (I kind of actually like it when it comes back). I'm like you, small mania, lots of depression. Because my manic state isn't that high, its very enjoyable for me. They only last for around four days and I always hate to see them go, especially since they only happen now a few times a year.

I've taken several of the ADs, but my all-time favorite one is Wellbutrin. I always felt it made me more *up* than the other ones and the opposite of the sexual side effects of the other SSRI's. I also take Lexapro which is good for depression, but also anxiety if you suffer from that.

The Zyprexa causes weight gain and now I am very heavy because it can add 100 pounds (occasionally) and that's probably about where I am, so you'll want to stay away from it if you can!!!

Good luck. I hope you'll let me know how you do!

Edited to add Zyprexa comment and remove paragraph that was meant for someone else! Doi.

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. I am already 100lbs ovrweight, even without meds so

no Dep or Zyprexa for me! I have used Wellbutrin but I don't think I got a high enough dose for it to make a diff. That or since I was on it alone it was useless without a mood stabilizer.

[hashibabba]

19. A good dose of Wellbutrin is 400-450 mg. and its important

to have both meds if you need them. Don't forget, if they don't seem to be working, don't give up. The trial and error part is frustrating, but its well worth it. I know several people who won't get the help they need and its really sad because I know how much better they could be. I was so bad off and my meds weren't helping and they almost put me in the hospital. Consider it if you get worse because its a much faster way to find which meds you need.

[cutlassmama]

24. I'm on Trileptal. The same class of drugs. I'm very heavy too.

It helped for a while, but now I'm having issues again.

[AndreaCG]

25. I've been on medical leave for about 7+ months now

I'm bipolar and we've done at last 15 med changes in that time, either meds, dosages or times of day to be taken. I know my psychiatrist cares about me and that he acts in my best interest but I don't know if that's enough at the moment. I just went off Abilify which made my appetite zoom off the charts. I gained 15 pounds in 2 weeks, and that's really not an exaggeration. I'm on a pretty high dose of depakote but so far my appetite has dropped by at least 2000 calories a day (yes you read that right). We added the geodon back which had been working for a couple of years but then stopped, but it hadn't been used in conjunction with other meds. Right now I am having a really mixed state, very creative but very stressed and crying buckets. I used to describe a mixed state as a roller coaster, then an ekg, now I'm thinking yoyo, like someone else is pulling the string.

I don't want to overburden you here, let's just say I'm fundamentally not happy and need changes but some of them aren't immediately attainable and some are really really hard to achieve (getting my screenplays made, though a friend gave me a proactive idea and it's feasible and won't cost much.) Right now I'll be happy just getting rid of my 23 year old couch which I never sit on cause it's uncomfortable so it is basically a place to dump things on and getting a recliner. After all, it's a change. know I should get my apartment painted and a new carpet first but I don't have money and I can't wait and as I said it's a change.

Some people understand what I'm dealing with, others don't. My mom tries but she's used to seeing my dad when I ws young. He'd go into these depressions and not talk to us for a whole 6 months. I don't cut off the lines of communication for more than a few days at most so she can't understand why I can't make it to work. I can't tell you the number of times I've been passive and ended up making wrong choices as a result. I'm trying to break that pattern but it's hard and I'm 46 and it's late for a lot of things.

Thanks you for offering me a forum to say this.

[silverojo]

27. I was on Zyprexa for a while

Stabilized my mood a little too much (=I was a zombie). I'm normally quite thin, and ballooned to 160 lbs. in 4 months. My cholesterol, which had never been high, started creeping into the danger zone.

I'm on Neurontin now, instead...works better, I've lost the weight, and my cholesterol is as good as ever.

[kestrel91316]

8. Unfortunately, we have a pretty large camp here at DU that

believes that mental illness is merely a character flaw.

[hashibabba]

10. That's amazing for people who believe so much in science!

Well, I just have to skip over those threads because I can't afford to go back to where I was, no matter what they think. I thought it was a character flaw, too for years. But once I was helped so much with the medications and therapy and learned more about mental illness, I was convinced.

Many people lack compassion and empathy in this country. If they don't understand what's going on in your life, they just judge it harshly with no understanding of what is really going on. Its too bad.

[kestrel91316]

22. We have a large anti-science and anti-vaccine camp here.

They expend a huge amount of time and energy on fighting science - so much that I suspect they are trolls.

I happen to think the anti-vaccine folks here WANT Dems to skip vaccines, in hopes that some of us or our loved ones will become sick or die.

[NMMNG]

23. Sad but true

I expect that from FR (where they consider it not only a character flaw but a joke) but here it is very disheartening. DUers are supposed to be more enlightened and progressive.

[blue neen]

11. Oh, what our family and countless others have suffered because of mental illness.

The illness alone is hard enough to treat without having to deal with societal pressures that make you feel like you're an embarrassment.

The Garlands are brave people who are trying to help end the stigma while dealing with their own grief. I admire them.

[hashibabba]

12. When I was first diagnosed, I was so embarrassed. But

then I got mad that I'd spent all those years in misery without getting the proper help that was available even back then. So I tell people about my illness. I don't care what they think. The more they hear it, the more they will realize that we're not just talking about the *blues* but serious biochemical as well as psychological problems for which you can get help.


We need more people like the Garlands. I'm so sorry for the loss they suffered, but hopefully they'll be able to help a lot of other people so they don't suffer the same fate.

[Porcupine]

14. My brother committed suicide last June........

due to a number of setbacks in his professional and personal life. He lived four blocks from his county's mental health clinic. I have a fair idea about why he didn't seek treatment; he was afraid of being treated like shit.

I have struggled with depression my whole life. My family tells me that I am lazy and that I'm refusing to engage with life or take risks. At times I can be very intelligent and on top of the game, straight A student, super-employee kinda guy. Other times it's all I can do to get out of bed and eat for months at a time. The pills dont' seem to work for me.

For the most part the doctors and the insurance companies have treated my problem like a hassle. Something they wanted to brush off their shoe. They gave me pills already why am I not better? It's hateful since it usually takes me a while before I go to the docs for help when I have a problem.

At it's heart the US hates it's people. When people get sick in ways that aren't popular or profitable for the medical establishment to treat we literally throw them into the streets.

Fucking tragedy.

[hashibabba]

16. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Porcupine. What an awful

loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I hope you learn not to listen to your family. I'm sure they love you very much, but they're so wrong about you. I've also suffered from depression my whole life, and it was a long process to get the proper help and even the proper diagnosis. Keep trying and don't give up on medical professionals. A lot of times the medications are mostly trial and error because for some reason not all meds help all people.

Don't let other people deter you. You CAN get better and you will if you persevere. If they aren't medical professionals in the mental health field, just put aside what they say and know that you can get better. Some of your depression may be situational, but a lot of it is probably genetic and/or biochemical. You need help on several fronts to get mentally healthy.

Have you gone to a psychiatrist? Do you know your diagnosis? If you didn't like the person or felt they weren't helping you, you need to find someone else to go to. It can be frustrating if you feel the meds don't help you, but there are probably other meds you haven't tried. I'm taking several meds. I wasn't getting better and switched to a different shrink. She put me on a cocktail of medications (once you're better, you remove them one at a time to see which ones are working and which aren't, but it gets you better faster; but I'm still on five meds a dozen years out!!!) that almost immediately made a difference.


When I look back at all those years I spent so depressed I get mad. But I've gotten help now and I know I still have many great years ahead of me. I appreciate every day so much now. Of course, the meds aren't the only thing that help you. Its important to go to therapy and get help for those negative thoughts that run around in your head.

I'm sure you're very intelligent (you're on this board, aren't you? LOL). The depression can keep it hidden. But mostly when I was depressed, I thought I was the most stupid person on the face of the earth. I had to learn to counter those lies with the truth. And that's what cognitive therapy does. Another important thing is just talk therapy with a therapist. Especially with my last therapist, she kept saying, but its OK to feel that way. Why do you have to feel a certain way just because that was right for your friends or parents or whoever? It really freed me. I always felt like I was different from other people, but now I know I am and I love it! I'm unique (now that's an understatement!)!

I do tend to give all the credit to the meds, but my therapists were very instrumental in getting me better too.

Don't give up Porcupine! You can find a way to a happy life. If I can do it, you can too. I'm sure of it.

[Porcupine]

20. I'm trying out essential fatty acid supplementation now....

taking several fish oil gel-caps and a conjugated lineolic acid cap daily. Seems to take the edge off the lows enough that I'm going back to meditation groups more regularly. Need to get a handle on the back pain now.

I've tried about 8 meds and ECT. None appeared to work. I wonder if the drug companies just repeat studies until enough people in the study group go into remission and publish.

I really don't like doctors after several rounds of this. If I hear the phrase "why don't you just......" one more time. :grr::nuke: :grr:

[hashibabba]

21. Wow, I take fish oil, too; but for my heart. I wonder how it has effected

my depression levels. Maybe that's why I had a high a few months ago.

I hope you find something for the back pain. EIGHT meds is a lot to try without some success. I'm sorry to hear that. Even ECT? I'm considered *treatment resistant* which is why I'm on several meds, but at least something finally worked.

I hate going to doctors, but for different reasons. Now my psychiatrist is another matter. I don't always agree with her, but as long as she writes my scripts, I'm glad to have her.

Good luck with the back pain. I finally found this great new kind of physical therapy when I lived in Oklahoma. It was very successful and even though I haven't gone in years, it still has kept me well. I hope you find some success too, it certainly doesn't help the depression.

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. I am so sorry. My family has been through that too and

it is so very hard. *hugs*

[PDenton]

26. the worst thing about mental illness

is how much of a non-entity society treats you after you are diagnosed. It feels like your life is over, even when you are doped up on the drugs and feeling fine, spiritually you know nobody will ever take you seriously again and there is all this discrimination out there. You even start to doubt yourself as a human being and just start to become a lump of flesh because you become an object, a patient, your whole personality an organ to be treated. You have problems in your life, you've lost time and oppurtunities in life because your energy was gone, you were afraid to act, but you aren't rolling around in a wheelchair so nobody cares.

I was diagnosed with depresion when I was 18, and mild-to-moderate obsessive compulsive disorder. I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years later, but I had an uneven response to treatment and was never truely manic (I just had hypomania), especially when off anti-depressants. I lost my health insurance at age 24. Today I have health insurance only because I lied about my status, and I just take St. John's Wort to avoid insurance troubles.

We need universal healthcare badly. Some of us are not doing well without it. But I don't hold out alot of hope this is going to happen any time soon.

You know what hurts the most... my dad calls me lazy. He calls me that all the time. He confuses being scared and feeling hopeless with laziness. Alot of people in society do that for people that are just depressed. When I cry my dad used to berate me for being a baby. I went back to smoking and nicotine patches finally just because it was the only thing that could help me get through a week without breaking down and wailing and shaking, or worse, shouting and throwing crap everywhere. Some psychs I have visited in the past have suggested I might also have Asperger's Syndrome, but I don't know where to get tested.