You're invited to an Idea Party!

[Lorien]

"Isolation is the dream killer" - Barbara Sher

Last year I nearly threw in the towel on a lifelong dream. I had always wanted to write and illustrate children’s books, but got off track when I took a job with Disney. Ten years ago, I wrote one, and over the course of several years I completely illustrated it in pencil and did several paintings for it (a few of these can be seen it the small business owner’s group, in the “OK, I’ll start” thread). But I couldn’t get a publisher to look at an unsolicited manuscript without an agent, and I couldn’t find an agent anywhere who came with good recommendations ( having the wrong agent can turn anyone’s dream into a nightmare). I figured that since ten years had passed, it would probably never happen.

Then I heard an ad on PBS for Barbara Sher’s idea party. Her program was said to have helped thousands of people achieve their goals or discover what they wanted out of life without any of the relentlessly optimistic Anthony Robbins “change yourself from within” BS, or uncomfortable group therapy sessions. I decided to attend the taping at the PBS station, figuring that if this didn’t work, I’d ditch the whole author/ illustrator idea.

Her concept was actually very simple; get a group of strangers in a room together (In our case, about 60 people). First go through a few exercises to help every one loosen up a bit (most done in groups of three. We did things like telling outrageous lies about what we thought one another did for a living, and telling two lies and a truth about ourselves). Then randomly select ten people in the room and tell them our dream, and why we couldn’t achieve it. Barbara said that statistically, there would be someone in that room that would be able to help us enough to make things happen. She told the story of one woman, Ann, who said to the entire room “I’ve always wanted to take a cruise, but I’m poor and I care for my bedridden mother full time”. Another woman stood up and said “I won some prizes on a game show. One of them is a cruise that I can’t take. You can have it if you like”. Another woman stood up “I’m getting my nursing degree in geriatric care, and I need to volunteer for 80 hours to get my degree. I could care for your mother”. Ann said “wonderful! That only leaves one problem; my ex-boyfriend has been stalking me, and I’m worried about him breaking into my house if I leave”. A man stood up and said “I’m a cop. What’s his address”.

So what does all this have to do with economic activism and progressive living? Simple; if you aren’t doing what you dreamed of doing with your life, how can you be living progressively? Most dreams are hampered by economic concerns as well, so our combine knowledge of frugal, conscientious living could really be a benefit here. I read so many posts on DU from people who are desperate, depressed, adrift, unemployed, and even in dangerous home situations. An idea party can’t be used in place of therapy, nor can it become a place for people to go who are looking for sympathy without seriously wanting to make changes. Idea parties ARE for those with a dream who don’t know how to make it happen or simply need “a gentle kick in the ass” for motivation . Sher says that it’s not changing your personality that forces you into action. It’s the shame and guilt you experience when facing your team without having taken the steps that you said you would!

So what did I get out of the PBS taping? One of the women in my three person group turned out to be an employee of Scholastic books, the publisher of the Harry Potter series. I gave her a few pages from my children’s book to take to work with her on Monday. Monday afternoon a VP of Scholastic called me to ask how quickly I could arrange a meeting with them. By the end of the week my children’s book was being taken by the VP and hand delivered to the right people at their home base in Manhattan, and I had a contract to illustrate three other projects for them, plus one author’s contract. :-)

So, who here is willing to participate in an idea party?

For more information on Barbara Sher and her programs, go to www.barbarasher.com

[Lorien]

1. I'll start

So, I got as far as getting the dream job, but now there's another problem; Children's books don't pay enough to live on. In order to keep my dream job, I need to come up with the energy and focus to work at my regular job and do this one on the side. That's tough, because I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and I've been completely unfocused and unable to concentrate-probably because I feel overwhelmed.

Has anyone has any luck with supplements or other alternative methods that don't involve doctors or much $$$? Also, I may need to find an agent eventually just to deal with hunting down the other work and maybe getting me some better rates. Does anyone know where I can find a reliable, honest and progressive agent?

[InvisibleTouch]

3. Congrats on your book!!

Hey Lorien - excellent to hear that your book is in the works! :) Never give up on those dreams - even if they take a while to materialize. 20 years ago I had the notion of writing professionally too (sci-fi, in my case), and while I never exactly gave it up, I did put it aside for various reasons. Lately the bug has been bugging me again. You just never know. Hearing a success story like yours, is good inspiration.

As to your questions about health concerns, I hear you - I much prefer to take care of my own health and prevention instead of being reliant upon drug companies and conventional meds, which I totally don't trust. I'm still using a daily asthma medication, but less so than the prescribed dosage, and I think I can get free of that in time, as well. I personally swear by the Shaklee products - lots of research behind them, quality ingredients, non-toxic cleaning products, etc. At first glance they're a little pricey, but when you realize that cheap vitamins are cheap for a reason (lots of filler ingredients, not well absorbed and biologically unavailable to your body), and then that conventional medicine and doctor bills are far more expensive, it starts looking like a bargain. My vitamins/supplements and organic produce are probably my biggest expenses that I could theoretically cut down, by buying cheaper products - but I know I'll pay for it manyfold in the long term. I know of people who have had lots of imrovement with fibromyalgia using the Shaklee supplements. You can drop me a personal note if you want links and more info....

Can't help you with the agent, as I'm not anywhere near that stage yet, but I know there's a DU Writer's Group and there are some published novelists in it. Perhaps they can recommend their agents, or someone their agent knows and can vouch for?

I love this "idea party" idea ... an online version sounds great....

[Lorien]

5. I'll do a Google search on the Shaklee products

I vaguely remember a coworker mentioning that she had good experiences with them too. Thanks for the reminder!

But back to YOUR book. Have you completed any manuscripts, or several chapters plus a fully written treatment?( I don't know if that's what
they call it outside of the film industry). My friend Jeff Smith is a fairly good friend of Harlan Ellison, who is fairly successful in the SF market (though he's a grumpy old...well, I don't know how helpful Harlan would be). I'm sure I know at least one other published science fiction author if I though hard enough about it. My only contacts in the publishing world right now are at Scholastic, but some of them might know editors at non-children's publishers.

What have been the obstacles to getting your work completed and published so far?

[InvisibleTouch]

8. "Have you completed any manuscripts...?" Er...

Yes, but ... and it's a big but ... they're 20 years old and laughable in the extreme. (Hey, I was 17.... ;) ) I still love the characters, and the basic universe is solid (IMO), but it really needs a complete overhaul. To that extent I feel like I want to do a lot more reading and research first, to refresh myself on the work of some of my own favorite authors, before I feel qualified to plunge in.

What were my obstacles? Well, a number of rather silly things. In part, having been published fairly young (nothing major - some poetry, a few short-story writing contest wins), I started to resent everyone else's high expectations. Nothing like a "you must" to kill the enthusiasm for me. Around the same time I got a pretty bad review of a manuscript from a sci-fi writer whom I respected at the time, though have since learned he's a BushCo Buttkisser, and so his judgment means squat to me anymore. Then the usual ... I went to grad school, changed careers several times, gathered together a houseful of pets, worried about keeping the creditors at bay.... I never totally got out of writing during all that time, but I switched to fanfic, which completely lacked any shadow of commercial possibility - thus removing any sense of obligation to the "real world." And I'm happy with my fanfic work, though I feel like I may be ready to get back to my original fiction, now that I've disentangled myself from some of the silly psychological blocks. The main current obstacle is just time and focus - and I'm sure every creative person has that problem. I've always believed that "if you want it badly enough, you will find a way," and the question now is just whether I want it badly enough (or believe in myself enough) to shake myself out of my comfortable routine. Depends on how much my old characters keep bugging me, I guess. If I should complete anything worth mentioning in the next few months, I'll probably poke around DU for some publishing advice among those in a similar boat....

And, on the other point of discussion, something of interest to you, perhaps: I've recently read the book "America Exhausted" by Edward J. Conley, which is about chronic fatigue syndrome. If you haven't already read this one, you might check with your library. There's a fair amount of "we recommend this medicine at our clinic," suggestions for this-that-and-the-other blood test, etc., but also discussions of environmental factors and allergies that might be contributing to fatigue. Even if you never go to the author's clinic or have any of those blood tests done, there may be practical advice that you can apply on your own. I smiled when he mentioned Shaklee cleaning products in one of the indexes at the end.... Here's the Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0965254410/qid=1105758200/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/002-2894882-8588049

...but again, the library is a wonderful resource. :)

[Lorien]

9. Sometimes the ideas of our youth are some of

our best ideas. That friend I mentioned, Jeff Smith? He had the idea for his graphic novels when he was in elementary school! There was a long article on him in Salon last year, but I think I lost the link. This is his web site: www.boneville.com .His work is kind of Lord of the Rings meets Pogo, so it appeals to a lot of age groups. He just signed a contract with Scholastic books, too (they're reprinting his work in color). He was lucky; his wife carried the financial burdens when he was first writing his books, then once they started selling, she quit her job to manage his company. Without her, I don't know how he would have done it. I know what you mean about creditors and trying to find time and focus...plus the high expectations thing. My family and friends read my children's book and got too enthusiastic, and it took the wind right out of my sails. I guess you just have to ask yourself; will NOT doing this be a regret down the road? Will the regret be worse than possibly not living up to someone else's expectations?

Thanks for the Amazon link, I'll check it out. Funny thing is that I got diagnosed with this over 20 years ago, while I was still a teenager. Back then nobody had heard of it, but now it seems to be everywhere...which leads me to think that there are indeed environmental factors at work. Hmmmm...

[InvisibleTouch]

10. Oh - Bone!

Yeah, I know those comics. Not well, but I recognize the characters visually. Neat, that the author is a friend of yours. :)

Story ideas that go all the way back to elementary school ... oh boy ... I've got some of those gathering dust in my corners as well. I guess I've always felt like they would come together when the time was right - when there were no outside strings attached, when I had some peace of mind and focus to work on stuff, and when I felt a genuine enthusiasm for the project, rather than just a sense of obligation. But at some point, if you wait too long for the right moment, it's just procrastination....

As to environmental factors and the upsurge of physical problems, I'm a big believer in it. Fatigue, fibromyalgia, asthma, allergies, autism - all those conditions for which medicine doesn't have an answer - all of that's on the rise. And then the right-wing idiots want to say we're not poisoning the planet....

[Lorien]

11. Waiting for the right moment

that's what the idea party is for; a group of people that you don't know very well (thus no emotional baggage; as Sher says "no one can derail your dreams faster than a well intentioned family member". Our situations will never change; the in box will always be filled, the bills will always need to be paid, our focus will not improve (unless there's a relivable medical cause), and enthusiasm will need to be drummed up. Mine comes from desperation; I'm sick of drawing cartoons, and I don't want to go to my grave asking "what if". Jeff always summed up my reluctance to really go after things by saying "Well, you're just a f*cking pussy" (that wasn't a slam against my gender, either. When you've known someone for 20 years, you can be blunt). Maybe he was right. Maybe a lot of what's been holding me back is just excuses, or fear of screwing things up (failing at the book thing and neglecting my paying work simultaneously). Jeff has a hell of a time motivating himself sometimes to, despite the fact that he's won almost every cartooning award out there. The last three issues of "Bone" were grueling; each was months behind schedule. He got sick, he was distracted by other projects, he was nagged daily by fans, his family and friends, his distributor. In the end, his wife offered him a trip to Tahiti if he just got the thing done by a certain date. That carrot worked, and he made it. Even if you already have an idea, a map and success, creativity on demand is hell for all of us.

So don't wait. Set a goal. Make a schedule. Plan a reward if you make it to a milestone. It's worth it.

[livinginphotographs]

35. HOLY S***!!!!

You're friends with the creator of "Bone"????!!!!!

Tell him I said hi.

I was going to reply how cool it was that he's friends with Harlan Ellison, but it's just as cool that he is himself the creator of an awesome comic like Bone.

Wow....

[Lorien]

36. We've been close friends for 20 years

In fact I stayed with he and his wife for three weeks last year, waiting out the hurricanes (they're in Ohio, I live in Florida). They're really good people.

He's on a book tour right now. I'll let you know if he comes to your area, and you can say "hi" yourself! ;-)

[livinginphotographs]

37. Seriously, tell him that his comic is awesome.

I have my Bone figurine sitting on my computer desk right now.

I love that comic...

[Lorien]

38. Did you get the one volume edition?

it's a good investment. He sold the printing rights to Scholastic, so the B&W version won't be available once all the copies they have now are sold. They underestimated the interest in the one volume edition, and only printed about 10,000 copies, so they'll go fast.

Sony pictures is BEGGING him for the film rights right now. He doesn't want to do it (after his bad experience with Nickelodeon), but I kind of think he should. They promised to make the films in America (three of them), so that would keep a lot of people I know in feed for a while.
Right now, Jeff is just consumed with Captain Marvel; you'll like that one too-the villain is modeled after John Ashcroft, lol!


Hey, didn't you have an unfulfilled dream about Alaska? ;-)

[politicat]

29. Invisible - If you're willing to share it, I'll help you revamp it

I've got one ready to kick out the door, though I have not done so, for reasons of my own distress about the potential rejection. I don't mind having papers criticized, that's what they're for, after all... but my novels?

However, I do have an eye for what's marketable and how to make it work, and I'm a cruel editor. (Ask my mother. She's back in school, at nearly fifty, and is getting kind of distressed when I correct her second drafts and make her re-write them. Payback, you know?)

PM me and I'd be glad to help, especially if you're interested in reading my next one (fantasy of the Guy Gavriel Kay and Robin McKinley type - short on the magic, long on good words.)

Pcat

[amazona]

4. inability fo focus/concentrate are symptoms

They are part of having fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. You are not having trouble focusing because you are "overwhelmed." You are having trouble focusing because you have an illness and "mental fog" is unfortunately a very common symptom caused by that illness.

Unfortunately, I am not aware of any methods alternative or conventional that have worked for my family member with chronic fatigue. Would that I did. My family member is still ill after many years, although now she has regained enough strength that she can again hold a job. At its peak, she could not remain awake more than two hours at a time.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Lorien]

6. That's what I'm afraid of

I've lost most of my 30s to this illness, but I'm always hopeful that there will be a breakthrough somewhere. My aunt has it too, and she's just found a holistic doctor who has created a tonic that she says has helped her. I'm going to try to contact her this weekend. If I can get some of the stuff and it helps, I'll PM you with the details for your family member.

[Glenda]

12. A few books for health

Prescription for Nutritional Healing by Balch and Balch helps in supplements and diet to heal conditions naturally.

If you chronic fatigue has an adrenal component, the best book is "Chronic Fatigue Unmasked 2000" by Gerald Poesnecker. It talks of supplements, but more helpful maybe is understanding what stress is doing to your adrenals and working to change that.

Also, acupuncture helps the adrenals a lot.

[Lorien]

15. Thanks Glenda!

I'll check those titles out. Tried acupuncture, but it didn't work for me (I know it does for many, though).

How about you; any dreams left gathering dust anywhere?

[Glenda]

19. I was in a Barbara Sher Success Team 2 years ago

Not led by her, but using her materials and her Wishcraft book. We continue to meet every 3 weeks.

As a result, I got out of the corporate world and am doing freelance from home, and having multiple income streams. I've still not completely fulfilled my dreams, but my current situation is better than it was. Although some months it is hard to bring in enough income, at least this isn't boring and soul-sucking.

[Lorien]

20. It usually takes a few years for freelancers

I guess I was doing freelance for at least three years before I really started making good money (six figures), but had it not been the Clinton years, it probably would have been longer. My income has fallen sharply since * came into office (so many people are unemployed in my line of work that clients are paying less per job now). Another self employed friend of mine was told by his accountant that self employed people on average take at least five years to be "completely in the black", so it may just be a matter of time.

What kind of work do you do? (If you don't want to answer, that's OK).

[Glenda]

21. Statistical Consulting

I have some survey analysis gigs, and some tutoring college students taking stat classes. I'm trying to find things to fill in the gaps. One of the analysis jobs is sort of steady, and if I could find another one like that, it would be helpful

[SlavesandBulldozers]

22. hello

i like your ideas. in this thread is there a link to a sample of your work? i could forward it on to some people.

apologies in advance if i've missed it.

i understand how frustrating it can be to be a writer, but don't ever tell yourself that children's books don't pay enough to live on. Au contraire mon amie, au contraire indeed.

[Lorien]

23. There's a few on this thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=264&topic_id=2&mesg_id=4&page=

(I was posting under the user name "Jen6" back then). Right now I'm writing and illustrating a 64 page book for Scholastic for $6000.It's taking me 1-2 days per page, so it doesn't look like a very sustainable career to me so far. I know there are people out there like Jan Brett and Chris van Allsburg, I just don't know how they got by when they were starting out. Maybe they weren't single? :shrug:

[BamaGirl]

24. Congrats on the book and contact!

I've always believed that success is a combination of hard work, luck, and knowing the right people lol. These groups sound like a great step in that direction.

I have no experience with cfs at all. I do have a good friend with fibromyalgia though. Her success dealing with it seems to be real hit or miss. She's made a big effort the last couple of years to live as cleanly as possible though, i.e natural cleaning products, cooking from scratch, no caffiene, etc. She says it's helped somewhat, though certainly isn't a cure all. Personally I "push" calcium as a supplement to everyone. For one, I'm young, 32, and have some bone loss issues. But mainly, I have discovered over the years that I feel 100% better when I get enough calcium. I get fewer migraines, control my weight better, have much easier to deal with pms, sleep better and suffer less from blues or depression. Now some of that is probably mental lol, but I chose to believe it's the calcium. So that's my supplement 2 cents lol.

[Lorien]

25. Thanks BamaGirl!

You're the second person who has recommended the calcium, so there certainly must be something to it. The good thing about calcium supplements is that you can't "O.D." on them; the body just secretes what it doesn't use.

How about you? Any unfulfilled dreams gathering dust somewhere?

[kslib]

26. Great idea Lorien!

Thanks everyone for all the info on CFS. I was diagnosed with adult ADD about 5 years ago, and have been on everything from anti-depressants to Ritalin/Concerta. I keep telling my doctor that I can concentrate, I'm just so tired, even though I get enough sleep. I'm always cold, and when I did the temperature test for hypothyroid, I consistantly run between 95.9 and 96.3. My TSH is normal, so I've been told it's probably a virus. I want to get off the ADD meds, but without them, I am so tired that I fall asleep, and with a commute, that's pretty dangerous! So, I'll be watching this board for supplements advice!

My unrealized dream---I'd like to do disaster relief nursing, or work with AIDS patients in underdeveloped countries. I've been unable to find an organization who will take a new nurse, or even takes volunteer nurses period. The organizations that fit me the best are faith based, but that doesn't jive with my own belief system. I do not want to be a part of a mission. Recently, I visited a Pueblo in New Mexico. I think that I may also be interested in working for IHS (Indian Health Sevices) to gain experience before going overseas. Any info on a good international health organization website or address would be very welcome!

And hello to everyone!
:hi:

[Lorien]

27. Hi kslib!

Have you been tested for chronic fatigue syndrome? It sounds like that's what you have. For me, I need high doses of B vitamins,Sam-E, MSM, CoQ 10, magnesium, calcium, Alpha Lipoic acid, vitamin E, and ester C. I also need to do at least half an hour of exercising-some of it weight training-every day. It's an ongoing battle. Also, try to use as many organic cleaning products as possible. A home air ionizer, like AirSource, might also be helpful.

As for your unrealized dream; what about doctors without borders? You've probably contacted them. My cousin is a Chippewa who grew up on a reservation and knows many elders in the Native community (she's very active in Native/ liberal politics, too). She travels to a number of reservations every year, and I know that there's one out west that she goes to that doesn't have a casino, so they're struggling financially. If you want, I can PM you some contact information for her. If anyone would have inroads to the IHS, I would think that she would.

You might also check with some Buddhist or Mennonite organizations. They generally do mission work that doesn't involved attempting to convert anyone to anything.

[kslib]

32. I will definitey try those organizations

I'm starting nursing school in the fall, and asked my advisor about IHS. He's helping me try to get a tuition reimbursement in exchange for 3 years working for IHS. I'm very excited!!!

[politicat]

30. KSlib, there are other symptoms....

Hypothyroid is so insidious, and TSH levels are not the end-all, be-all. Look at your fingernails. Look for ridges running longitudinally down the nail. Dry hair and skin? Cranky bowels?

There are several books out there about thyroid, and the hard part is convincing a doctor to look at the symptoms, not the scores. I'm STILL fighting this. (Family history of hypo, all the symptoms, but the Labs are fine! So... it's all in your head... Sigh.)

Have you looked into Mediciens Sans Frontiers or the Peace Corps? I know that's probably a stupid question, but a it's good to know where you're starting from.

Pcat

[kslib]

33. Thanks!

I have all those symptoms, and family history to boot. I'm calling around now for an endocrinologist, spurred by your comments! Hopefully someone can help!

I've looked into Peace Corps, unfortunately their medical professionals treat the volunteers, not the people. An important task, but not one that I'm looking for right now.

I've checked into Doctors Without Borders, and they are looking for at least five years experience, and a master's, so that gives me something to work towards.

I think that while I get my experience (hopefully with IHS), that I'll volunteer with the American Red Cross to get some relief nursing experience. I've researched the ICRC (international red cross), however they only accept those nurses who are Swiss native, or have their citizenship there. I can understand that (although I'm disappointed!). Since they go to countries embroiled in conflict, they must maintain neutrality, and the U.S. is too political.

[cally]

2. First, congratulations

I'd be willing to participate but I don't know any alternative therapies. I do know of another DUer who has your condition. I'll send that DUer a PM about your post.

[Lorien]

7. Thanks Cally!

:hi:

How about you? Any unfulfilled dreams or nagging obstacles?

[BlackVelvet04]

13. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia

before they called it fibromyaligia....it was called fibrocytis way back when. On top of that I had a spinal condition that eventually required very serious surgery. The answer to my problem has been a hot tub. I don't have pain in my back at all anymore and very little of the muscle pain. Yes, it's expensive to buy a hot tub, but I highly recommend saving for one and making it a priority purchase. If you are like I was you can hardly comprehend not having muscle pain. This has been like I miracle for me.

The brain fog I found was exacerbated greatly by caffeine. I found that cutting back on caffeine and taking Coral Calcium supplements (I take extra when I drink any caffeine) and a potassium pill a day has virtually eliminated brain fog. I buy inexpensive potassium and coral calcium and find the inexpensive stuff is just as good....I buy CVS Pharmacy brand Coral Calcium.

I have also found that if I am starting to feel some nerve pain that a couple of extra potassium pills makes it go away. Especially leg pain.

I don't know how long you have been dealing with this problem but it had been 30 years for me and I thought nothing was ever going to make it better....fortunately I was wrong.

[Lorien]

14. Thanks BlackVelvet04!

You're the first person I've met who has had it longer than I have. I've had it for 23 years now. I've taken coral calcium and found that it helped, but I haven't taken it in a while now (I saw a few medical write ups on coral calcium that said it was no better than other types of calcium. But who knows; big pharma doesn't want us to think that supplements work).I haven't taken potassium, so I'll make a trip to CVS tomorrow. I am a caffeine junkie. I'm trying to cut back. I quit every few months, but then all it takes is a week of impossible deadlines and I'm on the stuff again. Guess it's time to make another go of it.

Yeah, my dad had a hot tub once and that helped. I haven't been paid by my employer in 6 1/2 months (may go to court) so saving for anything is out right now. Maybe someday.

How about you? Do you have the career you want? Any life long dreams put on the back burner?

[BlackVelvet04]

34. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond, but

to be honest I FORGOT. I'm an administrator on another board and I have had limited time for DU.

I'm not sure where my career is at the moment. I recently started working for a museum and I'm finding I'm getting to do many of the things I LOVE doing......graphics, photography, special events coordinating, BUT it's only part-time and doesn't pay for shit. Supposedly the intention is for me to be made the director but I'll believe it when I see it.

I had back surgery about 13 years ago and since then I don't have the energy I would like to have, BUT I'm grateful that I don't live in the pain and on drugs like most people who have had this surgery seem to do. I think my lack of energy sometimes holds me back.

I guess my dream job (which isn't a lifelong thing....computers haven't been around my whole life) would be getting paid to do graphics and webdesign full-time.....and if I could do most of the work from home that would be a dream come true. I have much to learn about graphics as lack of money and lack of energy have slowed down my progress at college, so

[mhr]

16. Congrats Lorien - Please Tell Us More About Your Feline Companions

eom

[Lorien]

17. Thanks!

Follow this link and it will tell you more than you wanted to know: http://www.catster.com/?100240
;-)


How about you mhr? Are you where you always wanted to be in life? Anything the "team" can help you overcome or obtain?

[mhr]

18. Great Link - I Really Enjoyed The Bios For Your Companions

eom

[Lorien]

28. This post is from bobbobbins:

(non-donor who needs your suggestions)!

Basically I just hate my job (as I'm sure most people do), but I'm to the point where its having a negative impact on the rest of my life. I've always bitten my nails, but working in this profession has turned it from a bad habit into a compulsion...I literally go home every day with half of my nails bleeding, i have to put Band-Aids on them before i go to bed at night to keep them from hurting so bad that they keep me awake. Anyway, I live around DC and do computer programming, but I really want to be an actor in New York, I know it sounds crazy, and I don't expect to make a full time living off it right away, but as of right now I can't even figure out how to get to New York so I can try. Rent there is so crazy that unless you're making big bucks you can barely live. I guess that's my dilemma, I just feel like I'm wasting away here and need to make a change, but don't know how.

[Lorien]

31. Putting my EA & PL thinking cap on

I seem to remember that my sister did a year's worth of "apartment sitting" for someone in NYC who had to work overseas for a year. She just paid utilities during the entire time. I don't know where someone goes to apply to become an "apartment sitter", but maybe someone else here does.

One other tidbit I discovered while working with some actors at Disney; many got their start in commercials. They even said that many top musicians found a "shortcut" to writing film scores through toilet brush jingles. You usually don't need an extensive resume to apply for commercial work, either. They may be a faster way to get to where you want to go. :shrug:

[kslib]

39. An update on my dream....

Hey guys, I could use a smiley face today, and thought that you were the nicest bunch with the best advice!

I just found out that I'm back on the wait list for nursing school. They take people in order of application (if they pass the test), and they are on the 2003 applicants. I'm an '04 applicant. Looks "more promising" in 2006. I have a job right now, but it doesn't pay enough to cover my medical bills (I was hospitalized w/o insurance after an accident, also had to have P.T. and tooth replacement) and other bills. So I was living with mom and dad until after school would be over. That way I could pay my bills (with rent, that was a definite no!). Now my car is on its last leg, and I communte, so that's another potential bill looming. Luckily, dad's a mechanic, but he can't make it run forever. I know I'll get in in 2006, and I'm really looking forward to classes, and school. With my rockin' RN mom as a tutor, I'm gonna do well! But now what? I feel so lucky to have found a job now with insurance, and even though it doesn't pay that great, it's better than no job! I'm also really, really fortunate to have a mom and dad that love me enough to put up with me, because I'd definitely be either homeless, or on welfare (and I'd have to quit my job to go on that) without them. They rock! I just feel like such a loser, living at home. I pay them for food (under protest from them!), and am doing a lot of home repairs for them right now. The house is pretty old, and needed repairs, but they haven't been able to do them. My mom is also sick, and I've been taking care of her after work and on the weekends. Is it okay to stay with them another year? Should I give up on this? Try to find another career (even though this is a life dream for me)? Or accept my parents' help? Is this a dumb American question? I know that I'm lucky to live in this country and wrestle with such a dilema as this when others are struggling to find food and dying from abysmal conditions.

Thanks for letting me rant, I do feel a little better now!

[Lorien]

40. I know a lot of people in your situation

I have one 32 year old friend who is unemployed with no prospects who lives with his parents, another 38 year old friend who lives with his mom so he can care for her, my best friend lived with her parents at age 29-31 so she could go to grad school. There's no shame in it. As long as they don't mind and there's an end in sight, don't worry!

:hi:

:hug:

[kslib]

41. Lorien, you are an angel

you always have the best advice and help. I feel much better now!

:hi:

[BlackVelvet04]

42. Have you talked

with your parents about how you feel? Maybe, just maybe, you living with them is as good for them as it is for you and you are exactly what they need right now. I think many people have trouble accepting help...for those of us who are independent type people it's very difficult. A very wise woman once told me that sometimes the nicest thing I could do for someone else is let them help me. I have trouble with that but I have found it to be true. Those who enjoy giving often don't know how to receive, partly because of pride. We forget that others ENJOY giving as much as we do.

[kslib]

43. I took your advice.

and feel much better now! Turns out my mom is having back surgery soon, and since we are in the middle of remodeling, they really do need me to stay there. Also, mom advised me that I can start taking classes now (like my general ed requirements) which will make things way easier. Yea!! So, after the initial shock and disappointment, I really think this may work out for the best!

[arismomkoofie]

44. I'd like to join this idea group!

{Edited to say: oops, I thought I posted this under the main topic, but here is a smiley for you! :)}

I have not found anything I can help you with, and my ideas for my life are pretty fuzzy, but... we'll see!

One of my dreams has been to have a peaceful, happy life. Right now I am a teacher (very stressful), but I am the type of person who likes to do different things all the time, so I am not sure how long I will stick with it. One thing I would like to do is homeschool my daughter when she is older. At the same time I would like to do it with a group of other people, where we all share ideas and maybe teach each other's kids too, so that it won't be like just staying home with my child all the time, which will also drive me crazy. Kind of like a school for homeschooling. One other the problems with this is that I am a single mom, so that I am supporting my daughter on my salary, and if I quit, I won't make any money, and no insurance. Plus, I would also like to live in a community similar to an ecovillage (ie, environmentally friendly, no streets in the area except for walking, lots of land, but close into a city so I am not totally out in the boonies!). I have actually found a place like this nearby, but of course the houses run in the $400,000's and I make just over $40,000 per year, with a mortgage on a house in Tennessee that is not selling.

Ok, that's it. I've put it out there, and we'll see what happens. I'll keep my eye on this thread in case I find something I can help any of you with!

:)

[crispini]

45. I don't know where you are, but google "cohousing" and

see if this is something you might be interested in. It is a GREAT idea -- wish we had a cohousing group in my area.

[arismomkoofie]

46. I have! There aare lots, but...

i have NO $. I can pay rent to my mom only some months.

:(
Still dreaming though...