How far from your ideal do you move to be in a band?

[toddzilla]

I've tried being in bands in the past, and it's alway been a headache.. I don't sing as of yet, so i can't front my own band, and i'm just wondering how far do you guys bend in order to fit in with a group? I'm not gigging for money, and don't really care how much i make at all, i'm just playing to play out, so having to do matierial i don't like or am not crazy about is tough for me, but i'm not sure if it's just the norm to accept what comes along if it's remotely close to your wants as far as setlists go.

[johnnie]

1. I never had to bend

Any time I have been in a band, I ended up fronting it and played what I wanted. I started playing music to play and not pick up chicks or make big money so if I am in a situation that isn't fun, I get out. That hasn't happened much though.
I write and "sing" so I don't have the problem of someone who is mainly a musician and wants to jam with people. I am just as happy sitting around with an acoustic as I am jamming with a bunch of people, as long as it is fun.

[Ron Green]

2. If you play jazz, it's not a problem.

The players understand the idiom, and respect any musician who has something to say. The tunes are mostly timeless classics that give plenty of opportunity for exploration and improvisation, so everyone is invested in either learning the tune for himself or helping another player discover its depths. There is a long and rich tradition of previous rendition, so everybody participates in music history even as they seek innovation. Therefore, issues of "fitting in" and other kinds of games tend not to be a problem.

There are of course exceptions, but in my experience rock and pop bands don't have the artistic foundation to keep players on the same musical page as do jazz groups.

[livinginphotographs]

3. I've definitely had to bend.

Which I why I started solo work.

I'm in a band now, and have already had to bend a bit. It's better than it used to be, though.

[Bonhomme Richard]

4. I used to bend...........

The last playing out band I was in had 7 pieces and a blues background. They brought me in for my vocals because they wanted to move more toward rock. As much as I tried I just couldn't get into the blues. Not the Allman bros. type but the Son Seal type. It literally put me to sleep.
My main problem though was the vocals. I had to switch from a Joe Cocker to a Tom Petty to a REM to Van Morrison etc.....and it killed my voice with all the switching. I had to get out.
Now I have it great. I get together with 5 other musicians at my house every Tuesday night and we play what we like. We have no intention of playing out so there is no stress and we don't have to worry if it's not dance-able. For a couple of hours a week we think of nothing but playing and it's very relaxing.
One thing. As much as I try, it's hard to get the others to actively push songs that they might want to do. Maybe I have a controlling personality though I really go out of my way to get their input. I'm the only one who has actually played out so maybe they just defer to me. I don't know. The problem is if I waited on them we would all be standing around with our collective thumbs up our asses so it's up to me to keep things rolling along.
So, I don't bend now but am actively trying to. LOL

[Tsiyu]

5. WEll, it depends on the band

I have played Freebird.