Do you know anybody who ranks guitarists solely on their alternate picking speed?

[bbernardini]

There's a video on YouTube of Mike Keneally (former Zappa and Vai guitarist, current guitarist for himself and Dethklok) demonstrating a Rivera amp. There's some clown in the comments section who is convinced that Keneally isn't talented, and is a sloppy, uninventive player. Said clown's YouTube page has a list of guitarists, ranking them by the number of notes they can play per second with alternate picking. Do you know anybody like this, who can't see beyond speed to things like melodic and harmonic sense, and improvisational ability? (As for Keneally's picking ability, he wouldn't have gotten the gig in the live version of Dethklok if he couldn't play fast.)

[mwb970]

1. I can't stand hyperfast guitar playing myself.

The fact is, I can't hear that fast! A blur of rapid-fire notes is not impressive to me. I'll take Eric "Slowhand" Clapton any day.

[DarkTirade]

2. Whenever you run into something like that on youtube just remember this:

Your average Youtube commenter has an IQ WELL below that of the average poster on any other site.

And I'm including freerepublic in that.

Seriously, you can find some amazingly stupid things posted in the youtube comments. Don't take anything you read there at face value.

[freethought]

3. If you want to see a guy who can play pure speed

go back on YouTube and put in a search for 'Daniel Owen guitarist' or just 'Daniel Owen'. If you're into hyper-fast guitar playing THIS GUY IS YOUR MAN. This guy makes Yngwie Malmsteen look slow.

If you wonder what his music is like.....rather, if you're wondering what he plays. He's pretty much a speed metal player. Not my cup of tea.

Just like one other poster on this thread said, I am not into hyper-fast guitar players. I find their music hard to listen to. This is especially true of Yngwie. His music seems self-absorbed. More like it is about him and his playing than about the music. I don't rag on him for his playing technique however. Some players love him though.

I'll choose Clapton, the late, great Stevie Ray Vaughn, Pat Metheny, and Joe Bonamassa any day.

[bbernardini]

4. Wow.

Impressive, yes. Musical? Depends on your definition of music, I suppose. I tend to lean toward the John Cage philosophy of music, but I still don't like Mr. Owen's music very much. :)

[freethought]

5. Is that what you call it, "music"?

Well then, you're absolutely correct. It certainly does depend on what your definition of 'music' is.

I personally don't know what I would describe it as.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

6. I like guitarists who take advantage of the guitar's full possibilities

Guitarists who play it like a piano, with their fingers, who can play bits of melody, solo passages, with harmonic structures in between and even base lines. Guys like Lenny Breau or Joe Pass (in his later years) were like hearing jazz piano giant Bill Evans. To me, those are complete guitarists. I heard a story about Joe Pass appearing in a club at which a lot of young guitar players had gathered and were asking him to show off some guitar pyrotechnics. He led off his set by playing some blindingly fast single-note runs on his guitar. Then he said that he had to get that out of the way so he could settle into creating some real music.

[JeffR]

7. What a great line (no pun intended)

and I feel just the same way you do. A guitar is an orchestra in the right hands. It's a headache in the wrong ones.

[ProfessorGAC]

8. Yes I Know Someone Like That

Now, everyone here pretty much knows that i'm a shredder and consider speed and accuracy important. But, for me, i know full well that it isn't the only sign of guitar skills.

But, i know a guy that has to hear the ultra-fast, all picked notes to consider someone good. He's told me "Yeah, you're really fast, but you don't pick every note." So, yeah, i've heard it, for sure.

Thing is; this guy can't play a lick! He's not fast. He's not accurate. His ideas aren't interesting. He knows only basic chords. So, i don't consider his opinion worth much.
The Professor

[charlie]

9. I expect we'll be seeing more of them

A lot of people are being conditioned to appreciate pure speed by the likes of Guitar Hero and YouTube showboating.

And y'know what? I welcome the change. I think we've endured long enough the idiots who swarmed out of the woodwork since Grunge, who used "Clapton sez more in 1 note" to wrap an aura of nobility around the fact that they couldn't fucking play. A new kind of insufferable moron will be kind of nice, for once.

[ProfessorGAC]

10. Good One!

"A new kind of insufferable moron." I like it!

Ya know: I still like Clapton. I still like Mark Knopfler. (Well as long as he puts his distortion unit away.) I still like to Dwayne and Dickie.

But, i also like hearing pure skill put in a good musical context, like Satch, or DiMeola, or Patrucci, or even Yngwie. (Although, his music can sometimes get ponderous.)

But, i've never bought into the "say more with one note" thing either. In fact, one is by definition, saying less. Not that less can't be the best thing for that moment in the song. But, it is still LESS! So when someone says that, i tune them out.

The Professor

[charlie]

11. Hah, you know it

I sometimes get a little prickly about this because I'm a shredder myself (well, I was, but I'm feeling an itch to rejoin the fray after a long hiatus. I was long the go-to guy if a band needed some hot sauce in their lineup). Shred is just exuberance with technique, as transcendent or awful as any other kind of playing.

I never really minded if people ragged on particular shredders. But the dismissal I often heard of shred as invalid annoyed the daylights out of me. And the invariable hackneyed Clapton coda would make me lose it -- yeah, I'd like to see you guys shell out 50 bucks to see Clapton do Variations on C# for 2 hours. Nevermind Satch and Nuno, stay away from Wes, Django, Dizzy, Chopin, Liszt, and even Bach fer chrissakes. Clueless technicians, the lot of them.

Anyone who can't let a smile crack their stern disapproval while seeing something like this is a soulless doorstop:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_pfmrj0rxc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfj10h87CrY

[MilesColtrane]

12. Can I steal that for a band name?

Now appearing...the New Insufferable Morons!

[charlie]

13. Send this to your friend

He can retire his Yngwie, Paul Gilbert, and Mike Batio videos to the Broke Down Jalopies folder and beat off to this for a while:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BynUZOJc8QI

It's a new Guinness World Record attempt. The guitarist already has recognition from Guinness as the world's fastest. Until we can get cybernetic home kits at Walmart, it'll probably be unbeatable for a long time.