A Very Delicate Balance

[cindydivine]

I am in such a weird place right now. I am trying desperately to jump back into the political pool but am finding my passion coming off as aggressive, indifferent, passive or just plain wrong.

Like so many, I was completely devastated when JRE announced he was suspending his campaign for the presidency. I have stated that I would vote for him no matter what, and have my “glorious” caucus night (when I actually showed some balls and stood my ground) documented. Since that time, I have continued that I will write John in and that will be that...

I am not so fragile or juvenile (as I so horribly/mistakenly stated the other day), that I cannot see the greater good. I was just so hopeful for a time when rhyme and reason mattered. When a man could inspire a nation and truly make a difference.

I have let myself and others down since the Edwards endorsement of Obama. I first responded with annoyance since I had pretty much won the Edwards endorsement pool… then, it turned to disappointment when I realized he had done something I didn’t expect, then… worst of all, it turned into some sort of weird passive aggressive thing with others who commented on the topic. The suckiest (yes, dammit, that is a word) part of the whole thing is… who the fu@k do I think I am to assess anything? I am just a gal who considers herself somewhat intelligent and somewhat understanding of the human condition. Who the hell am I to know anything? Who the hell am I to think that I could possibly speak on behalf on any group, any person, any candidate???

While I am somewhat new here (DU member since November 07), I can only hope that the friends I’ve found, are the friends I keep.

[cornermouse]

1. It's been a rough campaign season this year.

Don't worry about it. Like I told saracat, we all have to figure out what is right for us individually and use that as a guide for our own actions. On the other hand, that doesn't give others the right to attempt to usurp or supercede our own hopes and wishes and compel us fall in line with their expectations.

[cindydivine]

2. Thanks for your reply :)

All I know is that I am one of those less than "1000+" folks and I feel like I may have just jacked my home away from home...

[smokey nj]

3. It's been hard on all of us and everyone's dealing with things in their own way.

:hug:

[balantz]

4. In my mind you have absolute freedom to go forward as you see fit.

And sharing your experience and observations with the rest of us is just great by me.

It's when people (not you) get into the act of telling others how they should think, act or feel is what I have problems with.

[saracat]

5. Relax. All of us may phrase things not exactly as we wish at times.

I should perhaps chosen a different word than "lie" to describe my reaction to John's endorsement.But heck, it was the way I felt and I "still " consider it a "betrayal" . But he has the right to does as he wishes, and so do I, and so do you.

John said that each of his supporters should decide for themselves and I am sure that applies to any reaction we may have about any of his actions as well.Some of us are financial contributors as well and reserve the right to express our dissatisfaction at how our donations were spent. Many of us did not wish to involuntarily to contribute to anything construed as an endorsement of Obama.But whatever.It is done.

I do not think you were attempting to speak on behalf of anyone other than yourself. You might have an "opinion" as to why certain candidates take certain actions or the Party does what is does and you are "entitled ' to that opinion. That is what being a Democrat should be about!

Best wishes Cindy.Your opinions are as valid as anyone"s.

[raincity_calling]

6. I miss Edwards and still believe he is the best

candidate. His speech the other day was electrifying. I wish I could record it and play back for myself whenever I feel discouraged. Having said that, I believe we must keep the big picture in mind just as he is and move on, and get our job done.

Here is my opinion. After Edwards dropped out I didn't think I could get get fully behind one of the other candidates. I investigated Obama and decided I couldn't do it. Then I investigated Clinton. I was surprised at myself for leaning in her direction. Ultimately I was turned off by her Rove campaign style against another Democrat (didn't matter if it was Obama or any other Democrat, it was the fact that it was someone in her own party). I then reluctantly moved back over to Obama. I know people here don't like to hear anything about Obama, but I am here to tell you it is not about Obama. It is about something much bigger.

I am a grassroots activist. I am always feeling frustrated and demoralized by the cynicism, complacency, and self-absorption of so many Americans. (Now don't get me wrong, I am one of the most cynical people I know, but the other side of me is an eternal optimist.) The reason I am now fully behind Obama has to do less with him and more to do with the grassroots.

I know this group doesn't like to hear to anything positive about Obama. But this isn't about Obama. It is about our country and creating a better place. Edwards vision is our vision - One America. And One America, in the sense of a Americans coming together, no matter their age, ethnicity, or background, are coming together in joy and hope. Sounds cheesy, but it is true, at least from my experience.

The Obama volunteers are very positive. I am active in my local county Democratic Party. I have never seen so many African Americans engaged in the local party then I am seing now. It is trully invigorating to see all these people coming together with a positive spirit. They are ready to take on the world. They hold food drives, neigbhorhood clean-ups, and voter registration drive. They are building a stronger community.

Obama's presidency is less about him than it is about Americans coming together. If he can do that, then I don't see the point in holding on to my anger and bitterness. If he inspires people to become enaged and to be positive, what is wrong with that? It is about power of the people - and community engagement. We will be the change, not him. He is just a catalyst. I don't see why we can't rejoice in that fact and go with it.

[ChiciB1]

7. I Had Not Read Your Other Posts... I Myself Have Been "Very Absent" For

some time now and am still in a funk! While I can't make much sense of much anymore, nor do I find many answers to any questions I may have, I'm still an Edwards supporter. I have only recently started posting here again, but not with much enthusiasm. Right after Edwards suspended I wanted to keep up the good fight, but I have failed to do so. I joined the other web sites, but haven't even posted there, but I read them from time to time.

I actually feel quite lost and out of touch for the first time in many many years. I guess since I don't feel "we the people" are listened to anymore, I find it difficult to slog through the crap and put on a brave face! Yes, it's the "suckiest" of times!!!

[asdjrocky]

8. Hey man, rock on Cindy.

There's lot's of people here I often disagree with and more to the point, I can't walk down the street without finding a hundred other people to disagree with. While I was working tirelessly for Edwards, my sister was strongly supporting Hillary and we're still close.

I can't begin to tell you how to think, and I certainly would not stand for someone dictating my thoughts and opinions. Here's my thing, we're liberals. The very essence of being liberal is embracing many ideas, many opinions and many different people and cultures. That's what we can do here. And as long as we are here, we'll exchange those ideas and opinions if I have anything to do with it and we'll try to all do it with tact and consideration. The best was to get compassion is to show it.

I consider all of you friends, even when we disagree.

[balantz]

9. Rocky, as always, a great inspiration!

I know your post was for Cindy, but I just want to say

:yourock: Rocky!

[pamela]

10. Hi Cindy!

I'd like to extend a belated welcome to DU and to the Edwards supporters group. :hi: I hope you will stick around.

I still think that JE supporters are the best. Of course, that's faint praise, considering the way the Clinton and Obama supporters have been acting.

[ClericJohnPreston]

11. Yes Rocky

We are all liberals, some of us ULTRA liberal at that. Which is why, my Party friend, I must comment that my Party has been hijacked by MODERATES at best, the oxymoronic conservative liberal at worst.

After 8 years of George Bush, we don't have the luxury of a middle-man to the liberal left again. We need that LIBERAL NOW! Too many people are barely hanging on to run an appeasement game. Ask Neville Chamberlin as to how that worked out.

To the OP, I repeat what my late mother used to say, "this above all else, to thine own self be true."

Following that dictate, I stand for reason, rationality, the rule of law and pure LIBERALISM, the likes of which hasn't been seen FDR, JFK and even the social policies of LBJ. As "Two Americas" always points out, Obama and his minions are ironically fostering "tokenism", as these latte liberals have never ever done anything personally to work against racism. You don't earn those bona fides by a vote, but by the course which these "liberals" have never followed, PERSONAL COST. I actually saw one of their gadfly bozos actually tout he had to drive two towns over to see a Black person, but look at me, I looked into the eyes of a Black woman today. If this wasn't so surrealistically stupid, I wouldn't be so sickened to the core by the lot of these moderate neophytes.

Not a one of them sees Truth, but their own projections, on that purposefully blank screen.

Thank you, but I don't want Corporations picking my President, and then giving me the appearance of "choice". Corporate "A" or Corporate "B". From where I come from, we call that "stacking the deck", or the HOUSE always wins.

To the OP, my only admonition, use your head, see the Truth, its right there, even if all around tell you it is something else. To Rocky, above, love the guy, distrustful of the Party mantras, all Corporate, no matter how well meaning and intentioned, and earnest, the speaker.

[bpeale]

13. what a great post CJP!!! i wish i could write like you. this so speaks for me & to me

[ClericJohnPreston]

14. bpeale, you are not alone

There a core few of us who see things for how they really are, not what they are told it is.

[asdjrocky]

15. So am I to understand I don't see the world clearly?

Well, thank you for instructing me. First of all, love ya too CJP, but I've read everything there is to read by both of the Howards, Zinn and Fast and while the language of Chomsky is a bit dense for me -you most remind me of him by the way- I've managed to get through most of his body of work as well. Having done so, it's impossible for me to look upon FDR, JFK or LBJ as great liberal lions. Great Presidents? Maybe one or two out of three, but not all. Look at the Jews sitting off of the coast of America during WW2, look at the bay of pigs, look at the intelligence gathering during the 60's, the black ops. The Tonkin Bay. C'mon man, I'm not stupid. I look at history clearly, as I try to look at the present clearly, and you have the gall to assume that I don't, or somehow the lens you see the past and the present through is somehow better adjusted than mine.

Rubbish.

And please don't accuse me of repeating party mantras, as my opinion is absolutely my own. But am I to assume from your words that I'm nothing more than Corporate, Party Mantra spouting dullard? Granted, I don't have you obvious education or the intricate control of the word poetic that you seem to have, my good friend CJP, but I have seen enough though these two old eyes of mine to make up my mind for myself.

As for my bona fides. I see through the lens of someone from the mean streets of south Stockton Ca. I've been homeless, in three different cities in this great country of ours, and yes, one of them was New York. I've looked African Americans in the eyes everyday since the day I was born. In my neighborhood, I was always the minority.

I'd also like to know, what are we to do? Hell, what do you do besides sit back and criticize the front runner? Should we vote for McCain? Perhaps we should have all gotten behind Hillary because the the great liberal tradition of the Clintons? Is it all the same? To read your words, and yes I do read them, we are doomed and failed to a complete decline into a new and improved dark ages. Gee, oracle, I'd love to know what we can do about that. I'd love a solution or two mixed in with all of the high minded political review. How bout it?

If I sounded sharp here, for that I apologize, but don't think I'm not capable of seeing beyond your words and reading the real insult contained within. People that under estimate me really piss me off.

[ClericJohnPreston]

16. Telling indeed Rocky....

Lets start in reverse order for a moment. I've been accused, rightly at times, more based on the style, rather than the truth of the comment, to be "arrogant". That is not to say I am arrogant, but my stubborn and righteous demeanor can be an acquired taste to those who don't really know me, but make assumptions that my style is my substance.

There is absolutely NO HIDDEN meanings in any thing I have to say. I am rather "upfront" and will rely on a post history over a thousand, each of which calls em as I see em. Look no farther than saracats post to see my usual rebuke for the Probamas who UNDEMOCRATICALLY won't abide a minority point of view. Thus, NO HIDDEN INSULTS. What I said, I said. What you find in hidden meanings, doesn't exist. I say what I have to say, straight up, always.

Now, to your start.

"So am I to understand I don't see the world clearly?"

As Shakespeare would have stated, methinks thou doth protest too much. I never said that Rocky. I did say what I meant, before you went off on a completely TANGENTIAL aside, meant to rouse sympathies and which bear no semblance or response to my comments. My comments were directed to the OP, with a remark to you.

Are you uncomfortable with the facts? You, more than anyone else here, are related to the Democratic Party machine. It is incredulous that you would stoop to the level of Obmaites, single me out for my refusal to be part of the Party apparatchik, WHICH WOULD THEN LABEL ME A TURNCOAT, A REPUBLICAN. After all, isn't the height of your FALLACIOUS ARGUMENT that to refute the Party is support or a vote for McCain? In the end, I do believe that Anarchy, in a system routed of conservative DLC types and faux left-wingers, ISN'T a bad thing. McCain and any CORPORATE DEMOCRAT are just plain BAD.

Those who would manipulate, see the world in black and white Rocky. It is a much more complex world than that, and you know it. So stop selling your own story, it isn't the point, or do you want to hear about my mom's cancer, my divorce or lung damage from the World Trade disaster? Would that make our political discussion more or LESS relevant?

So, you judge FDR, JFK and LBJ, to not be liberal icons, but Obama is? Bwahahahahahaha. There goes your credibility in an instant. Let me know the next time you want to impose REVISIONIST history and 2008 standards on ANYONE, especially FDR. Talk about comments from the catbird seat! You want to judge FDR based on the Japanese internment camps? How about John Adams and the Alien and Sedition Acts?

What is my answer Rocky? Do I owe you one? Is that the price of critiquing Obama? Sorry, not buying that and the two are mutually exclusive.

Sorry I hit a nerve Rocky. But I can't condone the current sad state of affairs, and I'm not alarmist, but a REALIST, to comment about it. You have lived too long in BUSHWORLD if you think I owe you any further response.

[Two Americas]

12. welcome cindydivine

I thought you did an exceptional and admirable thing that took a lot of courage - admitting that you might have made a mistake. No worries, all is well, glad to hear what you have to say.

Welcome to the Edwards supporters group. Your openness and honesty are refreshing and rare and much needed and valuable.