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Last night and this morning I received two messages from two DUers who are essentially in my same shoes. (Worn out tho they be...) They don't feel safe in talking publicly on DU about their own situation, and who can blame them? It's not like there is a surplus of compassion on DU! This tears my heart out! People who have nothing, people who are in fear for their very survival, who feel so alone, and now abandoned. I have so little to give, or I would pull everyone of these people out of these lifeholes and put them where they should be... in comfortable, pleasant and supportive surroundings, where they feel like valued human beings! All I have to give is my loud voice.... my anger and my determination that I will do everything I can to make sure peoples' hearts are broken wide open until they decide it's time to act. All I have is concern, and an ability to hear their pain. Please, help me to make sure they don't get left behind. I'm no longer feeling so bereft about Edwards, but there are so many who are! Help me to listen to them! I have 3 fears..... 1. That the stunning generous spirit of this group will be overcome by all the needs. There are so many needs, and so many different directions to go. We are still small in number. 2. 3. My own survival is hanging by a thread... there are many threats... my car breaking down, the loss of what very little support I have locally which keeps me going from day to day, getting so sick that I am of no use to anyone. For a long time now, my daily mantra has been, "Lord, send Aaron." I feel so very incompetent to be trying to raise a clarion call that mobilizes *anyone*. Yet, slowly I have seen that for whatever reason, I have a voice that needs to be heard...... that so many in my worn out shoes, for whatever reason, are unable to find that voice themselves. I'm so very afraid of letting them down, before they find their own voices! Please, help give others the self-confidence and sense of worth to begin testing their vocal chords! Even my time is so limited.... it's difficult to get my thoughts together in the ilbrary time I have available. Please forgive if I'm not always coherent.
By the time I got to the computer, I couldn't remember #2, but it's more important than #3. I still can't pull it up out of my moldy brain, but can't wait all day to post this... sigh....
Sing along with me... "If I only had a brain...." :hi:
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