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This is the key component to the poverty issue that gets chronically overlooked. We assume that all want to be "winners" and do not look too closely at what being a "winner" in modern society means. Much of the help that is directed at the less fortunate then become coercion, as we try to force the presumed defective ones to conform to our very restrictive and destructive modern view of what the "successful" life is.
This is, as we have found here recently, a very painful subject for people and they become easily insulted or offended. Many have battled with poverty, and have a tremendous amount of time and energy invested in their own climb out of their personal pit of terror and deprivation. Naturally, no one wants their own efforts to be invalidated, nor do they want to be reminded of the wolf at the door - and that wolf is close to the door at all times for almost all of us. This is all completely understandable and forgivable and we need to find a way to reach out and come together on these issues. Right now it is a God awful mess, because we are touching on areas where we are all deeply wounded by the inhumane highly competitive culture - competitive to the point of extreme bullying and exploitation - in which we are forced to attempt to survive and retain some sanity and compassion.
Then there are those who have never known want, and who are completely unsympathetic to those who are suffering, and their glib pronouncements and rational "solutions" and advice are seductive and attractive to us, because they reinforce and align with our won struggles to succeed. We are then led to ignore the implicit cruelty and arrogance that lurk behind those ideas. Bullies and reactionary and aristocratic people can hide behind liberal buzzwords and spread their destructive message of libertarian individualism without being easily detected.
We can't "fix" poor people by training them to be self-serving bullies - and is that not the ultimate formula for success in modern society? Nor can those of us with compassion and humility indefinitely reconcile the two conflicting urges in our minds without a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. Our human urge to help those less fortunate is in direct conflict and irreconcilable with the model we are trying to use to address the issue.
The fear, anger, frustration, and depression we have all been feeling, and once in while taking out on each other, is a direct consequence of trying to hold two contradictory things in our minds at the same time.
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