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"I am personally disappointed in the lack of commitment the other candidates have to both fighting Global Warming, and monsters." Strategists for the (now unofficial) Gore campaign say that the former Vice President is aware that most people don't care about global warming, and those that do don't understand it. "The Vice President is making his anti-monster stance known because it's an important issue that no one else is talking about, and he wants to show Americans that he cares about the broad range of issues that effect their lives." said Bob Schrum, who managed Gore's 2000 campaign.
"Voters need to know," said Gore, "that in 20 years New York won't be covered in water, and that their grandchildren haven't turned into vampires, or worse. It's time other candidates realized the great threat monsters pose to our everyday lives. Thanks to the thoughtlessness of the Bush Administration, no anti-monster legislation has been passed in the last seven years!", Gore said to a crowd of gasping hill billies.
"I predict," said the former Vice President, "that if nothing is done about this, then by 2075 mummies will dominate the southwest United States, that's no legacy to leave for the generations to come." Gore said.
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