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If I joined others at a solstice gathering...
What to do depends on several things such as your motivation, the group you're with and their attitudes, what they do, etc.
One thing NOT to do is say things you don't believe (mumble praise of Freja) to try to fit in. Unless it's a very homogeneous group, there will probably be some there who have widely varying beliefs, pantheons, and so on, and they'll likely be accustomed to having others present who don't as pay much attention to Freja or Quetzcoatl or Athena or whoever as they do.
Probably the best people to ask your questions of are the people you'll be with. Let them know that you don't share some of their beliefs but want to participate in a respectful way, or if you're going with friends who already understand, let them introduce you to the others on those terms. Tell them why you're there--is it curiosity to learn about other approaches, is it sociable to be with friends who happen to be pagan, is it to participate in a seasonal celebration even though it's more (or differently) religious to them than it is to you, or whatever? If they know what you're thinking and you just quietly decline to do or say something because it doesn't fit for you, that will likely be just fine with everyone, especially when they know where you're coming from. Pagans are accustomed to having lots of different people with lots of different views, practices, and beliefs.
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