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Really! I was never a Christian, I'm a UU, but I entered seminary defining my beliefs as "deist/taoist." I am probably most inspired by Taoism, but I was raised (unchurched) by a Presbyterian and a Catholic, and I was always really curious about Christianity since most of my friends went to some church or another. By the time I was a teen I rejected all Christians as hypocrites (not true, but somewhat true in my family), but by the time I hit seminary in my late 30's I had to admit Jesus' teachings had positively influenced me. (Note I say "Jesus' teachings" and not "Christianity"--there's a big difference imo. If I had to define my western deist beliefs these days, I might say I'm a gnostic mystic.)
But I digress. By the time I graduated, I started identifying my personal path as deist/taoist/pagan. Because I learned in seminary that while I really wasn't Christian at all, I still want to honor the positive, rich influence the Tanak and the Bible in my life; God as loving Father is appealing to me on some level. (Paging Dr. Freud: never mind cracks about my father issues. :P ) I am also heavily influenced by Christian social gospel. However, Taoism--and also feminism, and environmentalism--really kicked in and I knew I also needed a God who was a creative, nurturing Mother to balance the paternalism in western religion. And while there are a few images of Mother-God in Judaism and Christianity, they just didn't feed me like Mother Earth. Now there's a matriarch who can hold her own against God-the-Father! Of course they are just two sides of the same coin, trans-gendered and life-and-death-giving, Source Of All. I still prefer the word God over Goddess because "God" as a word can be gender-neutral, akin to "Tao", whereas "Goddess" always gives gender something without gender.
Then, too, all of my transcendent moments, when I've actually felt the presence I'll call God/dess here, have been in nature. My life work these days is in responding to a natural disaster. I have come to realize that the natural world has always been my refuge and inspiration, even here in Katrina's disaster zone. I think this blue and green planet's oceans and sky and mountains are the closest humans can ever come to understanding permanence--the permanence that must be God/dess, the Mystery, the Unknowable, The Ultimate Energy that existed before this planet and will exist when all around us ceases. How can I deny earth-based traditions that honor the Earth that created us, feeds us and sustains us? I can't.
So that's how I came to define my beliefs as pagan--at least in part. Never as a seminarian how their beliefs developed. :hi:
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