Need help with a couple of candle rituals/magick!

[foreigncorrespondent]

Hi, guys,

Need some help with a little candle magick. I will tell you what I need with a little background behind why I am asking.

Firstly though, candle Magick has been my foray since finding my Pagan self about a year ago. So even though I am still a novice, I do have experience under my belt. Just been having a little problems trying to find something that will help with the following situations:

First one I need help with is a simple one for my mother and sister to finally discover the truth about a situation which involved me a year and a half ago. This situation has cost me any real form of contact with my blood family since the day all hell broke lose, thanks to the workings of my then partner who I will simply call a scorpion.

Basically this woman I was once involved with was married, but set sights on me and played her sick and twisted game with me. In the end she denied anything ever having taken place with me, and sadly my family believed her.

Because of this womans game, I ended up having to move out of home (I lived in my car for four weeks), and up until meeting my current partner, had been almost on my own, apart from my 17 year old niece showing up every now and then.

The ex didn't stop though... I had almost daily contact with her, because we both worked in the same place, and she continued to run me down. Any new female who would be hired there would be told by my ex that I am a lesbian and will make moves on them, so they better watch out. Mind you, that is so far from what I am truly like it isn't funny.

Things seemed to settle down though after my familiar and I found each other, but when my ex learned that I was now seeing someone who was not just a Wiccan, but someone who is very gifted psychically and a very strong witch who actually got me to see my mother again, my ex started playing her game again, and this time it cost me my job.

Now my current partner could cast something for me, but is a strong believer in The Wiccan Creed, and so walks heavily on the side of caution. Even though I am strong believer in The Wiccan Creed as well, I have read recently that if someone does harm to you, then the Creed doesn't come into play, because we have a right to defend ourselves.

So I have been looking for something where I can bind this woman, to stop her from ever causing me harm again, but at the same time, something that will help my family to finally discover the truth about what really happened between me and this woman.

The second one I need help with is there is someone in my life, who is dear to me. This person is a close friend of mine, tells me she loves me all the time, but treats me how a friend should not be treating a friend. She treats me poorly. Now I really love having this woman in my life, but I am getting to the point of turning my back on her, because I can't handle the personal abuse from her anymore. Is there anything I can do to change this?

If you need further detail please PM me and I will give it in private, but I don't want to go into this on a public forum any further than I already have.

Thanks,

FC

[winyanstaz]

1. The trouble with "binding" someone....

is that you are first off, playing with the dark arts as it is Black Magic to manipulate another for any reason what so ever.
Secondly, when we bind someone we also are binding ourselves because of our actions and are accruing karma.
The best way to deal with this would be to do a ritual of Justice and ask the Spirit (your own highest ideal of God/Goddess) for Justice. You will be amazed at how well this works. A white candle, blessed with the four elements will work best for this. Make up a simple rhyme for what you are asking for as ritual and rhyming are both languages of the subconscious and it will aid your request in manifesting.
Just be very very certain that you are in the right as if you are the one wrong, then YOU will reap the karma.
Asking for Justice from Spirit is a fast-forwarding of karma with an extra kick in the butt.
Be careful also not to use this too much as in every instance that I have used it..what happened to people was many, many times worse than what I would have ever thought of on my own. It is a sobering fact that you must take into account.
As to the job, often the Spirit kicks us out of our comfortable spot when it is time for us to fly and often what looks and feels like something terrible at the time..turns out to be the best thing ever to have happened to us as it puts us on the right path to where we need to be. Your ex may well have done you a couple of blessings there.
To find what you should be doing...follow your bliss.
Good luck and Blessed Be

[foreigncorrespondent]

3. I was thinking...

...on asking for guidance from my Goddess on the situation with my family, but then I began to think, well if they believed someone they know to be a liar over me, someone they know all too well can't stand liars and lying, then what is the point of even trying, because they obviously don't know me at all. But they are my blood family and I do miss being able to call them to meet up for coffee and stuff.

Thanks for the advice, I will give it a lot of thought over the weekend and make a decision as to what I should do next week.

Blessed Be!

FC

[Ignis]

2. Winyanstaz had a great answer.

But here's my take, from someone who doesn't follow the letter of the Wiccan Rede:

You certainly have every right to practice "psychic self-defense" against someone who has actively worked to harm you.

But the danger is that any active binding you do against another specific person has a very, very real possibility of causing changes to your own psyche in ways you cannot predict. So any work you do along these lines should definitely be focused on changes to your world, your relationship with those around you, your perceptions of reality, and your empowerment.

Consider this analogy: No matter how much you're attracted to someone, it is always better to work a generic love spell to improve your own ability to give and receive love than it is to "bind" another person to your will--for good or ill.

In that same spirit, I'd suggest keeping any "binding" to be very defensive and focused on yourself. White candles, working deiseal (often misspelled deosil), and invoking protection is one approach; black candles, working widdershins, and purification of negativity is another. The important thing is the intention: Improve your own life, don't try to change another's will.

Hope that helps. Let us know if you need more gritty, specific ritual details and I'll see what I can find in my library.

And most importantly, hang in there! :hi:

[foreigncorrespondent]

4. You gave me idea...

...I have an oder of black candles on the way, so I might do a protection spell rather than one that will bind her. I have never been keen on doing binding spells, and have usually dealt with other situations in other ways. Just with the sxituation with my family, I haven't been able to find anything that will help... and believe me I have gone right through my own BOS, and read countless articles etc in books and online.

I am hanging in there as best i can. I guess I am kind of down about the whole situation right now, because the friend I mentioned in the second one, was always my support, and since she has changed, the support from her has dwindled as well.

Thanks for the advice. :)

[Ignis]

5. So...

Keep us updated. ;) Hope everything's working out well.

[foreigncorrespondent]

6. Sorry, guys!!

Been sick this week, so haven't been doing much of anything. Anyway, I decided to go with a truth and justice spell for this. Was talking it over with my partner and feel this is probably going to be the best solution.

I don't want revenge, I just want the truth to come out, and this seems to be the best way for that to happen.

Will let you know once everything has been done and how it is all going. :)