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So one afternoon I sat down in the living room, I remember that day all to well, it was hot and muggy and I had the front door open, and my dog Boo was in the basement trying to cool off on the concrete floor. I felt so numb. So I sat there miserable with myself and I begun to pray to God. I just talked openly there all by myself, tears streaming down my face, begging for some kind of an answer. Not feeling like I was getting anywhere, I grabbed a pen and pad of paper I felt like I needed to go right back to the very beginning, right to the fundamental basics and so I wrote down the question: ‘Do I believe in God?’ I wrote down an answer quickly… YES.
The next question: ‘Do I believe God to be the one and only?’ Here I couldn’t formulate an answer so quickly. The reason why is because Christ is said to be ‘a mighty god’, and Satan is said to ‘be god of this world’. So even though I was brought up in a monotheistic religion, to say God is the one and only God is really not all that simple. So it was here where I had to really think about what it was that I actually believed in, because it was no longer simple.
As I continued to pray, I decided to take a chance and be completely open and honest. I say this with great reservation, because in the way in which I was raised and taught the bible, I was about to commit heresy, a taboo that is most certainly forbidden for any Christian to entertain. I took that deep breath and admitted what I felt I longed for and needed my entire life. I needed my mother, not my father. So during my prayer, I asked for HER.
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