Signs

[Liberalynn]

I kind of believe fate sends us signs but am never certain or positive of when I am receiving them or what they mean. Or if they are not signs at all but just coincidence.

I am freaking out today because I had what seems like too many things to be coincidence.

I was in a job for ten years and the first five years I loved it. The last five years were kind of hell on earth. I had to deal with all kinds of discrimination there, first because I was female, and second because some other members of the staff knew I had been raised Catholic but was no longer practicing. They kept trying to convert me to their own brands of Christianity. I didn't volunteer the information, and tried to keep quiet about my religious beliefs or lack there of, but they knew I'd gone to a Catholic school and asked me if I was still Catholic.

I also kept being hit on by this old man and a weird one about my age. Two of my bosses in the last five years were gender discriminating cretins and they were no help in these other issues and caused their own share of problems for me. I wanted to quit in the worst way but I listened to my Mom and my sister and tried to stick out until I found another job. Well to make a long story short I had a nervous break down before I found another job.

Today I went to the grocery store and saw not one but two of the women who also used to work there during the bad period, then I got home and got the mail, the organization actually had the nerve to send a donation request to my mother, even though I haven't been associated with the place in ten years, and then my mother reads me this story out of the paper about how the son of one of the people who religiously harrassed me there is getting married. I keep asking her not to read me anything about the place but she does any way.

I feel like I am being haunted today. And this after a conversation with the Nurse Practioner who prescribes my Paxil, said I need to get past what happened to me ten years ago, since those people and that job are no longer part of my life. Now I want to go back to her and say tell that to them. I still can't believe they had the nerve to write asking my Mom for money and it's still the same dumb ass boss working there as when I left. It's a not for profit so that is why they solicit.

I know the NP is right and I should let it go but I still feel haunted.

And all this while I am waiting anxiously to see if my disability is renewed.

Okay so maybe it means nothing and I should just pass it off as conincidence but what do you all think? Could it be a sign of some sort and is it good or bad, what could it mean,if it is a sign?

[roguevalley]

1. I believe, my darling, that it means you have post traumatic stress

syndrome. I did too after five years of intense harassment at my job of 25 years.

Sometimes, when you are down and feeling low, you see things that seem like signs. Since it appears that the pain you suffered haven't been resolved for you, honey, that is the cause of your intensity now. Your mom needs to understand how deeply it wounds you that she even talk about them around you. Tell her pointedly, blankly, firmly. When she begins, get up and leave the room. Do it all the time and she will get it.

They don't have the right to write to you. Take the envelope and write on it 'return to sender' and put it back in the mail. Do it with everything they send you. They can't harass you in your home unless you let them in.

You can't 'get past' this because they hurt you and you must tend to the wounds. Go and get someone to talk to about this and work it out of your system. Do it for yourself, honey. I know what you feel like. I have been there too. The NP can't tell you what you need, they can advise. You are haunted because you are still hurt. Seek help for it. No one can tell you to 'just get over it' and 'move on'. Only you can do that when the pains are taken care of. Do it for yourself and be well. Get peace. You deserve it.

RV

[icymist]

2. Ever read about Carl Jung's 'Synchronicity'?

...synchronicites are coincidences that are so unsual and so meaningful they could hardly be attributed to chance alone. Each of us has experienced a synchronicity at some point in our lives, such as when we learn a strange new word and then hear it used in a news broadcast a few hours later, or when we think about an obscure subject and then notice other people talking about it. from The Holographic Universe, Michael Talbot, p.76.

This is a first hand experience of how we are all connected. Seeing the two women you used to work with, your mother recieving a solicitation letter from the same place, and the newspaper peice about the marriage... all around the same time..... could this be an echoing that this part of your life needs closure?